Listen To Your Heart
by ExLibris3
Summary: Jen has been acting weird lately and when Gibbs finds out what she's hiding he's not sure whether to help her or not, since her secret might change his life as well. Turns out, Jen's keeping more than one secret from him.
1. The Truth

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS or its characters.

This fic will mostly be about Gibbs and Jen. It takes place in season 4, so Jen knows about Kelly and Shannon.

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"Gibbs, do you know what's up with the director these days?" Ziva asked when she was sitting at her desk. Gibbs looked up from his work.

"Nope, haven't noticed anything" he said, although he had noticed something was very wrong with Jenny. She always seemed extremely tired and whenever he was around her, he felt like there was something she wasn't telling him, like if she was keeping a secret from him.

"Are you sure? Cause I thought…" she started but Gibbs interrupted.

"Yes, I am sure! Now get back to work!" he was starting to get annoyed.

Just as he started to concentrate on his work instead of Jenny, DiNozzo came up to his desk.

"Boss, the director wanted to see you, said it was important" Tony said and Gibbs gave him a quick look and then hurried up the stairs to Jen's office.

Tony and Ziva looked at each other.

"He knows something, doesn't he?" Ziva asked and Tony walked up to her desk.

"Either that, or he doesn't know anything at all. But he must have noticed something"

Gibbs walked right past Cynthia, who was sitting at her desk. She looked up when he passed, but didn't bother to stop him, since she knew the director was expecting him. He opened the door and closed it behind him before he turned around to find that Jen was not sitting at her desk. She stood looking out through the window. She didn't move or made any sign that she heard him coming in. He noticed she had the same clothes as she had worn yesterday, and even from behind he could tell she was extremely tired.

"Jen" Gibbs said and she didn't move.

Jen had heard him enter her office, but she couldn't find the strength to face him. She knew she had to tell him, she had known this moment would come eventually. But now when she finally had found the courage to call him up to her office, she started to think that maybe it would be best for him if he didn't know. _'Best for him' _she thought_, 'but not for me'. _She was very aware of how she looked, like crap. Same clothes as yesterday, no make up and messy hair. She heard him calling her name, but she didn't, she _couldn't _move or answer him.

"Jenny" he said again and started to walk up behind her. She heard him coming, and she had to make a quick decision.

"What's wrong?" he asked when he stood right next to her. She turned her face away from him and said

"It's nothing, Jethro. Just go, it was a mistake to call you up here" the last part she whispered, but Gibbs heard her.

"No Jen, I have noticed your behaviour lately, and I have to say it worries me. Now tell me what's wrong!" he was starting to get annoyed.

She breathed in and closed her eyes, fighting against her tears. She knew he would be mad at her when she told him, but right now she just hoped he would understand and help her get through this, if she was forced to go through it alone she might not make it.

She opened her mouth to talk, but before she could think of anything to say, the phone rang. They looked at each other for a moment, and when the phone rang for the third time, she broke eye contact and walked over to her desk. She hesitated for a second before she answered.

"Shepard" she tried to keep her voice steady as she spoke again seconds later. "Okay, I understand. I'll be there as soon as I can" she hung up. She hadn't expected that, now it would be even harder to tell Gibbs her secret, but she had to.

"What was that about?" Gibbs asked and he frowned when he heard her sobbing.

"Jen?" he walked up to her and placed his hand on her shoulder. He turned her towards him.

"Tell me Jen! Because I don't understand what is wrong! Maybe you always could read my mind, but I can't read yours!"

"They called from the hospital…" her voice was barely more than a whisper, but she knew he could hear her.

"Are you sick?" he asked, that could explain her weird behaviour. But at the same time he felt cold inside at the thought that she might be dying.

Jen shook her head. "No, I'm not. Jethro, I don't know how to say this to you. I know I should have told you years ago, but I thought it would be best if you didn't know." She paused to take a breath and looked up into his eyes; she saw that he didn't understand, so she continued. "But the situation has changed. Please don't be mad at me when I tell you"

"Tell me what?"

"I have a child, a little girl called Amy. She…" her voice broke, Gibbs still had his hands on her shoulders, and his mind was spinning. A child…

"She's in the hospital. She's suffering from a serious lung condition…" Jen started to cry and through her tears she said

"My little girl is dying" before she broke down completely and since her legs couldn't carry her anymore, she collapsed into Gibbs' arms. As he held her tightly to prevent her from falling, he thought about what this had to do with him, he could only think of one possible reason…

"Is she…my…our…daughter?" he asked, confused.

"Maybe" was the short answer he got out of her, but that wasn't good enough. He held her arm tightly with one hand, so she wouldn't fall, while he pulled out her chair with his other hand and then he made her sit down. He leaned down close to her.

"And what does 'maybe' mean, Jen?"

She wiped away her tears before she answered.

"It means I not entirely sure you're the father…but at the same time…I don't think there's any doubt that you are. She has your eyes" she said and looked up into his eyes, like to prove it to herself, ans she met his cold gaze.

"Why the hell are you telling me this now, when she is sick? Why do you let me know I have a daughter when she might die? Don't you think I have been through enough already?"

Jen started to cry again, this was the reaction she had expected from him, but she had fooled herself into thinking that he would understand.

"Why?" he yelled and made her jump in her chair.

"Because I need you" she looked up at him once more "I love her Jethro, she's all I got. I couldn't handle it if I lost her. Since you're the one I trust, I need you to be there for me if she…"

"But I don't understand…" he started, but Jen interrupted, sounding more angry than sad now.

"It's not just about me. Two days ago I asked her if there was something she wanted, and she said she wanted to meet her dad, and I can't deny her that. But if you don't want to, it's your decision" she gently pushed him out of her way and she got to her feet. When she reached the door she heard his voice calling her name, she looked back at him.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"To the hospital, they said it was important. She wasn't feeling good…at all" Jen swayed and Gibbs noticed this but by the time he rushed forward it was too late. She fainted and he threw himself down onto the floor next to her body. His mind was spinning, but he had one clear thought, and that was that he had to take Jen to the hospital. And he felt like he had to check up on Amy as well, maybe not for himself, but he thought he owed Jen that. He lifted up Jenny into his arms, managed to open the door and walk out. Cynthia looked up from her computer when the door opened and got shocked when she saw the director lying unconscious in Gibbs' arms.

"Oh my God, is she ok?" she asked but Gibbs didn't answer, all he had to do now was to get Jen into his car and get to the hospital as fast as he could. He rushed down the stairs, fast, but still careful so he wouldn't drop her. Tony looked up from his desk just in time to see Gibbs walk pass them.

"Boss, what happened?" he yelled and ran after him. Gibbs had stopped at the elevator.

"Tony, push the button" he said without answering to question.

"But…" Tony tried.

"Now! I have to take her to the hospital"

Tony obeyed and looked at Jen with a worried expression. The elevator doors opened and Gibbs stepped in.

"I call you" he said before the doors closed again. Tony was shocked; he turned his head and saw Ziva and McGee hurrying towards him.

"What happened? What's wrong with Director Shepard?" McGee asked but Tony just shook his head.

"I think she might be sick" Tony said and looked from Ziva's shocked face to McGee's.

_Okay, so that was my first chapter, please leave a review and tell me what you think!! Next chapter will be up soon._


	2. The Heartbreak

Gibbs was sitting in on a chair in the hallway outside Amy's room at the hospital. He hadn't gone in yet, and he wasn't sure he would either. Jen was still unconscious; she was lying in a room close by. Gibbs drank from his coffee and tried to clear his thoughts. _He had a child…with Jen… _It was not that he had a problem with Jen, but he couldn't believe she had lied to him all these years… While he was sitting there, a nurse walked up to him.

"Mr Gibbs?" she asked and he nodded.

"Jenny is awake, just thought you might want to know"

"Why did you think that?" he said back, noticing the look of confusion on the woman's face.

"Well…I just thought…since you brought her here…you wanted to.." she stammered

"Yeah, I brought her here, that's all" he snapped back.

"Ok…" she said and left him alone again. He sighed and got to his feet, he couldn't be here, and he had nothing to do here. With that in his mind he started to walk towards the doors.

"Jethro" he heard a voice calling his name, a female voice, and he knew too well who it belonged to.

"Where do you think you're going?" Jen asked as she walked closer to him from behind. He forced himself to turn around and face her.

"I'm going back to NCIS headquarter, Jen" was his answer.

"So you're just gonna leave me here alone with our sick daughter?" she asked, trying to get to him.

"No, I'm gonna leave you here with _your _sick daughter, I have nothing to do with it." he replied and turned away from her and started once again to walk.

"Jethro…Jethro please"

He stopped; there was something in her voice that made him feel bad about leaving her. He turned around and looked at her; he saw a tear running down her face.

"What, Jen? What do you expect from me? To understand? To just walk into Amy's room and introduce myself as her father? I can't do that, Jen!" he said angrily and she looked towards Amy's room and then at him, as if she was trying to choose if she was gonna try and convince Gibbs to come with her, or just realize that he wouldn't give in no matter how hard she tried. At last she started to walk towards him; she didn't stop until she was so close to him she could touch him.

"I actually was expecting you to understand, Jethro." She said and for a second Gibbs was afraid she might lose it, but when she continued to speak, her voice was steady. "Or, I hoped you would understand. And I hoped…that you would do this for me, as a favour."

"Are you absolutely sure I'm the father?" he asked

"She's six years old, who else could be the father?" Jen said

"You tell me, are you sure you didn't sleep with anyone else around that time?"

"Jethro, she even looks like you! Please come with me, just say hello to her. It's her wish to meet her dad" she said and slipped her hands into his. He got slightly shocked by her touch, but then he tightened his grip and leaned forward until his mouth were close to her ear, and whispered "I'm not her father, Jen. Maybe biologically, but I don't know anything about her. Why would she want to meet a man who hadn't known about her even existing until her mother tells him he has a daughter that's six years old and might die?"

He leaned back again and now the tears were running fast from Jenny's eyes.

"I have lost a child once, and I will not risk loosing another one. Sorry Jen, I can't" he said and let go of her hands, gave her a quick look and then he turned around and walked out of the hospital. Jen was left alone; her eyes followed him until he disappeared. He was gone, the one person that could help her through this had just walked out through those doors, and he didn't mean to come back. She dried her tears and hurried towards her daughter's room. When she opened the door she saw two doctors standing beside the bed, and she noticed that Amy was awake. One of the doctors, Dr Halliwell, looked up when Jen entered the room.

"Hello Jenny" he said and Amy looked up at the sound of her mother's name.

"Mommy!" she said and smiled, before she started to cough. Dr Halliwell turned his attention back to the girl, while Dr Rowan, a young female doctor who had been with Amy most of the time, walked over to Jen.

"How is she?" Jen asked with a voice full of concern. Dr Rowan looked at Amy before turning back to Jen.

"Well, better than she was when I called you. What took you so long to come here? You are usually so quick?" she asked.

"I…I got held up" Jen simply answered. Dr Rowan nodded and signed for Jenny to go up to her daughter.

"Hey sweetheart, how are you feeling?"

Amy looked up at her mother with the same eyes that Gibbs had looked at her with.

"Have you found my daddy?" she asked weakly without answering Jen's question.

"No honey. I haven't" Jen replied and took her hand. A nurse came in and the doctors left.

Amy frowned as she eyed her mother's face. "Mommy, have you been crying?"

"No, I have just been worried about you" Jen lied, she couldn't tell her the truth, that her dad didn't want to see her, it would break her little heart.

In the meantime, Gibbs had not gone back to NCIS, instead he was sat in his basement, looking at the boat he was going to name 'Kelly'. _Kelly…_she had been his daughter, the little girl he loved more than anything in the world. Whenever he thought of the word 'daughter' he thought of her, he couldn't imagine thinking about someone else, that wouldn't seem right, that wouldn't seem fair to Kelly. So, then why did he feel so bad not thinking about Amy as his daughter?

_So you're just gonna leave me here alone with our sick daughter? _Jen's words came unexpectedly into his mind, and he bit his lip and looked around, trying to find anything other than the boat to lay his gaze on, but that turned out to be almost impossible. Then his eyes found the stairs, they followed it until they came to the door, then he closed his eyes.

He knew. He had known all along, he just didn't want to accept it. From the moment he heard her say she was the new director of NCIS he had known. He knew he never stopped loving her. Right then, in MTAC, he felt the same as he had felt more than six years ago. He had tried his hardest to put those feelings away, but just an hour ago, in the hospital, when she had taken his hands and looked into his eyes…But if he was still in love with her, then why couldn't he be with her at the hospital, meeting their daughter? He didn't know why, he just… he thought he wasn't strong enough, or brave enough. What was he going to tell Jen if she saw him there? Should he tell her he loved her? No, he couldn't do that. After what he just had done to her, she probably didn't want to see him any time soon. He had left her.

Jen sat beside her daughter in her hospital room. Amy was asleep and Jen watched her breathe. But Jen couldn't relax, because of the illness Amy could wake up any minute, having a hard time to breathe and coughing so much Jen almost started to cry. She had been with her every night since she became sick, and every time she was scared like hell that while she was sleeping Amy would stop breathing and she wouldn't notice, not until the doctors woke her up to tell her some really bad news. But now she looked so peaceful, so Jen's mind travelled to Gibbs. When she first had became director of NCIS she had been worried that she still might have some feelings for him, which she discovered she had. But after what just had happened those feeling where no longer there. He had broken her heart, once again. She should have known. She should have known he didn't feel, or had ever felt, for her like she had felt for him. But she didn't love him anymore, he had abandoned her. When she needed him the most, he had simply walked away, left her to go through this alone.

Gibbs was confused. Somehow he had managed to get out of his basement and into his car. Now he was stood outside the hospital, wondering if he should go in or not. Visiting hours had ended, he knew that. But he was family. Or he was family if he were to accept Amy was his daughter. Fifteen minutes later he stood in the hallway outside Amy's room, he knew it was very late, and she would be asleep, but he just wanted to know what she looked like. He was just about to reach out for the door handle, when someone from the inside opened the door. He found himself looking into a pair of teary eyes. And those eyes belonged to Jen.

"Jethro…"

"Jen…"

_So, what do you think???_


	3. Anger and Sadness

_I'm so glad you're reading my story, and thanks for the reviews I get!_

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"_Jethro…"_

"_Jen…"_

She pushed him aside and started to walk away down the hallway, Gibbs didn't know what he had expected from her, but it wasn't that.

"Jen…Jen wait a second" he said and attempted to follow her.

"Leave me alone Jethro" she replied without turning around.

"I'm sorry. I was confused" he said, and he felt he really meant it, he just hoped she could hear how sorry he really was. Jen stopped, and without turning around, she said "I'm confused too, by you. I have no idea what you're doing here, I don't know what you want" she turned to look at him "And I don't want to know"

Gibbs looked at her, she was standing a few feet away from him, she looked relaxed, and the looks she gave him were cold. He felt heartbroken, when she looked at him that way, and when she refused to come any closer, he understood how badly he had hurt her, and that she didn't love him anymore.

When Jen looked at him, she became shocked; she had never seen Jethro like this before. He looked so sad and…maybe she was crazy, but she could swear she saw love in his eyes when he looked at her. She closed her eyes, didn't want to see, didn't want to realize that he had feelings for her. She didn't want to forgive him for abandoning her, but if he loved her, and tried to show it, how would she be able to deny her own feelings?

"Why are you doing this to me?" she asked, and he frowned, not entirely sure what she was talking about.

"What do you mean?" he answered and took a step forward.

"Never mind, just…please go" she said, sounding so sad that he thought he'd better obey, if his presence caused her pain. She watched as he turned his back to her, she thought it would be easier, but it just felt so much harder when he walked out through the door. She hadn't really wanted him to leave, to be honest she had wanted him to rush forward, take her in his arms and kiss her. That he would apologize over and over again, go with her and watch their daughter sleep… Then why hadn't she asked him to go with her, once again?

Meanwhile Tony was trying to call Gibbs. After calling his cell for the fifth time, he gave up.

"It's impossible! I can't get a hold of him!" he burst out, just before he looked up and saw the elevator doors open to reveal Gibbs.

"Boss, I've been calling you…" Tony started but Gibbs just walked pass them, without paying attention to Tony. He hurried up the stairs and into Jen's office. Of course, Cynthia had tried to stop him, but he had ignored her too. He closed the door behind him and sat down on the couch. He thought he'd wait for her here. He needed to talk to her, needed to explain why he came back, needed to explain his feelings. The feelings he had been holding to himself for so long, too long. He wanted her to understand.

Tony was still looking towards the stairs.

"Tony. Tony!" Ziva said loudly. He jumped a little and turned around.

"What, Ziva?" he asked, annoyed.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm waiting for Gibbs to come back down, I wanna talk to him" Tony explained, but Ziva just shook her head.

"And what do you think he'll tell you?"

"Hopefully if the Director's ok or not. I think we deserve to know that"

"You have a point. Where do you think he went? Her office?" Ziva said.

"Yeah, maybe he went to pick something up for her" Tony said

"Yeah, well whatever it is, I'm sure Gibbs has his reasons for not telling us" McGee added.

"McGee! Shut up." Tony and Ziva said at the same time.

Gibbs was now standing looking out through the window in Jen's office. He didn't expect her to come back until morning, but he knew if he went down to the squad room, Tony would be there with his questions. It was pretty late, but Gibbs knew they wouldn't be going home for a while, not when they knew the Director wasn't feeling well and Gibbs was acting weirder than usual. He would stay in her office until she showed up. He wanted to talk to her. He sighed and walked back to the couch, where he sat down and buried his face in his hands.

He remembered Paris. And now he remembered Serbia too, and that little farmer's house they had been held up in for a week.

Gibbs fell asleep; he was plagued by memories, memories of Kelly and Shannon. He woke up; the office was now very dark, Cynthia must have come in and switched off the light. He looked at his watch, it was half past two. The squad room was probably empty by now, but he decided to stay here and wait for Jen, so he fell asleep again. This time he dreamt of Jen. Both good and bad memories flashed through his mind. Good, like when they went up in the Eiffel Tower, and he confessed his love for her for the first time. Bad, like when they had gotten into the fight that eventually came to break them up. He woke up by a tear rolling down his cheek; he wiped it away and checked the time, eight forty-five. He was hoping Jen would show up soon.

Tony woke up; his neck was hurting from having slept half-lying over his desk all night. He looked up to see that Ziva was already awake; she too had spent the night at NCIS.

"Morning" he said, trying to hide a yawn but failed. "Have you seen Gibbs?"

"No, I think he's still in her office" Ziva said.

"Where's McGee?" Tony asked when he notice McGee's desk was empty.

"He went to talk to Abby. He should be back any minute"

After a few minutes both Abby and McGee came into the squad room.

"Morning Abs" Tony greeted and Abby smiled at him. "Good morning Tony!"

"Have you seen the Director yet?" McGee asked as he sat down at his desk.

"No…" Tony said, but then he looked up at the sound of the elevator doors opening, and he saw Jen coming out. "I mean…yeah, she's right there" he added and everyone turned to Jen's direction.

"Good morning Director" Ziva greeted as Jen walked past them. She turned to look at them.

"Oh, hi" she said and stopped.

"What happened? We saw Gibbs taking you to the hospital" Tony said with a worried expression on his face.

"I…I fell and hit my head in a table" Jen lied, but to her relief it looked like they bought it.

"How are you feeling now?" McGee asked and she forced a smile.

"Better, thanks. Is Gibbs here?" she asked as she looked around for and sign of Jethro.

"Yeah, we're suspecting he's been in your office since last night…" Tony started but never got the time to finish his sentence, because Jen had already hurried off.

'_Damn it Jethro! Can't you leave me alone?'_ she thought angrily while she ran up the stairs to her office.

"Ma'am! What happened?" Cynthia asked when Jen rushed in.

"Not now, Cynthia. Is Special Agent…"

"…Gibbs in your office, yes. He has been in there since…" she never got the chance to finish the sentence, because Jen had already opened the door to her office and walked in. She shut the door, standing with her back to the room. She slowly turned around, only to see Gibbs standing up in front of the couch.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she said, shocked by her own tone. She hadn't meant it to come out like that, it sounded so threatening. Or maybe she had meant to, she didn't know. If he got surprised by her tone or not she didn't know either, his face didn't show any of his emotions.

"I wanna talk" was the simple answer he gave her.

"What is there to talk about?" she shot back, moving so she was standing looking out through the window, with her back to him.

He took a deep breath, but he didn't answer her, didn't know what he should say.

Jen's face was turned to the window, but she wasn't looking out, she was staring at a spot, trying to understand.

They stood there in silence for a while, until she broke it, with a voice that gave away that she was crying.

"Jethro" she sobbed. "Oh God, no" was all she could say before he heard her crying loudly. He didn't hesitate to go up to her from behind. He placed a shaking hand on her shoulder. He breathed out when she didn't pull away, but she took him completely by surprise when she turned around and threw her arms around his neck. She cried into his shoulder, cried because of Amy, cried because of Kelly and Shannon, and cried because right now she was in the arms of the man she loved and at the same time hated. She cried of anger and sadness. She was sad because of what he had done to her, and angry because she knew she loved him.

_Well, what do you think? Please leave a review!! The next chapter will be up asap!!_


	4. The Decision

_Thanks for reading, this chapter picks up right where the last on left off._

"No…no…" Jen whispered, couldn't believe what she was doing. She hated him, she didn't love him, she _couldn't _love him, not after what he had done.

Gibbs didn't need to ask what she was talking about, he understood she didn't want to be in his arms, but he didn't want to let go, he had missed this, missed her. He tried to calm her down. He rubbed her back, and she didn't pull away, a good sign, he thought, but when he drew his hand through her hair she heard her whisper again. "Jethro, please don't"

"Jen… I…" he started, but immediately regretted his decision to speak. She had pushed herself away from his embrace, so now they were standing opposite to each other, the tears were running fast down her cheeks, and Gibbs didn't know what to do, or what he had said that had gotten her so upset.

"Don't…say…it!" she sobbed, she looked so fragile and helpless where she was standing, so he had to fight his hardest against his urge to take her back into his arms.

"Say what?" he asked, but those two words seemed to make her even more upset.

"Don't you understand?"

He shook his head, he really didn't understand.

"I loved you! That's why I told you about Amy, I loved you and I wanted us to be like a family, I wanted you to be her father. But when you left me at the hospital, I understood I don't mean anything to you anymore, so now you don't mean anything to me" her voice shook. Gibbs felt like if an ice-cold hand had just crushed his heart.

She immediately wanted to take back everything she had said, but she knew she couldn't do that, she couldn't just forgive him.

"Jen…" he said and took a step towards her. "I love you" he was trying his hardest to keep his voice steady. "And you have no idea how bad I'm feeling for abandoning you, I wish I could take it back, I really do. I came back to the hospital because I changed my mind. Please, please forgive me"

She was touched by his words, but…

"No, I can't forgive you, Jethro. Now leave me alone!" she said sternly, and overwhelmed with grief he walked towards the door, when he placed his hand on the doorknob, he turned to her.

"I really do love you, Jen" and with those words he left her office. When the door had closed behind him, she sank down into her chair. It was like she had feared. He had said those three words she was trying so hard to ignore. But how do you just ignore it when someone tells you he loves you? But how could you ever forgive a man who left you because he was afraid, afraid of the fact that he was the father of her child and that child was sick? Jen loved him, but she could never forgive him.

Gibbs had escaped into the elevator; he had nowhere else to go. He couldn't go down to the squad room; he couldn't stand to face the others, or their questions. He thought of what Jen had just said. She had said that she _loved _him, as far as he could tell, that meant past-time. Suddenly his cell-phone rang; he looked at the caller-id, DiNozzo. He disconnected the call, he didn't want to answer, didn't want to talk to anyone, except Jen. He found himself in a very odd situation, he thought when he sat down on the elevator floor. He had never before let his feelings go before his work. What if Tony had been calling about some important case? And he hadn't answered just because he was upset over Jen…_'But this is different' _he thought. Suddenly the elevator doors opened and he got surprised when he saw Abby, and she looked just as surprised to him sitting on the floor in the elevator.

"Gibbs! Tony has been looking all over for you, but…I guess he didn't care to look in the elevator" she said and walked in and sat down beside him.

"So, why are you hiding in here?" she asked. He didn't answer; he didn't even look at her.

"Ok then, who are you hiding from?" Abby tried, but Gibbs just shook his head. She stood up.

"Why won't you talk to me, Gibbs?" she asked, confused.

"I…I can't Abs. It's personal" he said, feeling very bad for not telling her, it was not that he didn't trust her, but this was that kind of thing you would want to keep to yourself, at least until you knew what was going to happen. Abby left and he sat there alone, for how long he didn't know. He sat there, saw some people come and go, he didn't care about them.

But then the doors opened, and when he didn't hear anyone walk into the elevator, he looked up, and there was Jen.

She looked down at him, and bit her lip, trying to decide weather she would go inside or not, when at last she took a step forward and the doors closed behind her.

To Gibbs' great surprise she sat down on the floor beside him, just where Abby had been sitting.

"Don't tell me you have been in here since you left my office" she said, sounding more sad than amused.

"I have" he said, speaking for the first time since Abby was there. "So how long have I been in here?"

"At least three hours" Jen answered.

"Well, I needed to think" he said, not looking at her, just staring at the opposite wall.

"You are not thinking about…" she started but she didn't have to finish her sentence, because he nodded.

"Yes. I'm in here because of you, Jen" he said, finally fixing his gaze upon her, he noticed her face was red from crying.

"So, you have been sitting in this crappy elevator for three hours because of me?" she said and he nodded again.

"Yes, Jenny. I want you to know I do care about you, I guess I just realized how much."

"Jethro, I love you, but…" she started, but stopped when he turned towards her, looked into her eyes, and then kissed her softly on the lips. She hesitated, but then she placed her hand on his chest and pushed him away. He looked at her with surprise and was slightly shocked. She didn't look at him, she felt bad for what she had done.

"But I can't forgive you" she said, her voice barely more than a whisper. Gibbs swallowed hard; he hadn't really realized just how badly he had hurt her, until now. He reached for her hand, took it in his, and she didn't pull away.

"Jen, I promise you, that if you give me a second chance, I will never ever hurt you again. You have my word on that" he said and she looked up at him. "Please" he added.

"I don't know. I can't forgive you just like that…I need time" she said, but she was touched by his words. He could be really sweet when he wanted to.

"I'm not asking for you forgiveness, I just want to be with you" Gibbs answered. Jen leaned against him and placed her head on his shoulder.

"Trust me; I want to be with you too. But I don't think I can until I forgive you" she signed.

Gibbs stoke her hand, "I'll do everything I can to make it up to you"

"Well, I have never doubted you before, Jethro" was her answer and she closed her eyes. She felt him switching position, so now he had his arm around her shoulders and she was leaning against him. Jen thought it felt good; his touch gave her some comfort. She knew it was wrong of her to think that way, now she would never be able to fight her feelings for him. She believed everything he said, that he would never hurt her again, and that he would try his hardest to make it up to her. She might just have to accept the fact that maybe they were meant to be together, no matter what.

After a few minutes Gibbs said, "Maybe we should get out of the elevator" and she nodded and stood up. She turned around and held out her hand to help him up. He took it and got to his feet, they stood close for a second, and he placed his hands on her hips, her hands were resting on his arms, they looked into each others eyes. The doors opened and they both looked up and saw Abby.

Abby stared at Gibbs and the Director for a moment, until they, a little awkwardly, stepped away from each other.

"Oh my god, is this what it looks like it is? Or have I just lost my mind?" she asked in shock.

"Director? What's wrong? It looks like you've been crying" Abby continued, noticing Jen's red face. Jen didn't know what to say, but fortunately Gibbs did.

Yes, she's a bit upset, and I was just trying to comfort her" he said and Jen played along and nodded.

"Okay, very well. Gibbs, Tony is still looking for you. He's wondering where the hell you are, and since the last time I saw you, you were in here, so I thought you would still be here so…" she rambled but Gibbs put up his hand to shut her up.

"I get it, Abs. Can you tell Tony I'll be with him in ten minutes, I'll just have to take the Director up to her office" he explained and Abby nodded and stepped out of the elevator.

When she was gone the doors closed and Gibbs pressed the button so they would go up. The elevator stopped and they stepped out, walked pass Cynthia and into her office, neither of them had spoken since Abby had left them.

"Jen" he said and she turned to look at him from where she was standing at the window.

"Yes?"

"I was just…No, forget it, it was nothing" he said, looking away from her. She frowned and started to walk towards him. She placed her hand on his shoulder and he looked up at her.

"Jen…" he said again, and she smiled slightly.

"Jethro, I've made my decision. I've decided I don't care about how much you hurt me at the hospital, I want to be with you, because I love you, and I believe you when you say you will never hurt me again" she said and smiled wider at the sight of his stunned expression.

"I love you too, Jen" he said and leaned in to kiss her. And she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back.

Then the phone rang…

_Who's calling? You'll find out in the next chapter!! Leave me a review!! Please!_


	5. Do You Trust Me?

Jen slowly pulled away from the kiss. Gibbs tried to make eye-contact with her, but she had closed her eyes. She slowly turned away from him and started to walk towards her desk. She picked up the phone and answered.

"Jenny Shepard" Gibbs watched her when she spoke.

"I'm on my way" she said and hung up. She still didn't look at him; instead she walked right past him, grabbed her coat and reached out for the doorknob.

"Jen." he said, and she froze in her movement. "Where are you going? Who called?"

Jen took a deep breath, and several seconds later, she finally managed to meet his eyes. He saw her eyes were full of tears.

"The hospital" she answered simply and he understood without her explaining further.

"Why? What's wrong?" he asked and was starting to feel a bit worried himself.

"They said…they said Amy wasn't feeling well…at all. I want you to go back to your team, they seem worried about you. I'll give you a call." She once again started to reach out for the doorknob, but she didn't have time to open it because Gibbs had stepped up in front of her. He placed his hands on her shoulders.

"You are not going anywhere without me" he said and she just shook her head.

"It's bad enough that I have to leave the office. I trust you Jethro, so I want you here, making sure everything's in order.

"If you trust me, Jen, let me come with you" he said and moved his hand to her chin and lifted her head so he saw her face properly. Tears were running quietly down her cheeks.

"Jethro…" she started, but with his other hand he pressed a finger against her lips.

"She's my daughter too, Jen. I'm coming with you. Besides, I won't let you drive like this, you're sad and upset, who knows what can happen. I've just gotten you back; I won't risk loosing you again"

She was touched by his words, and she knew it was no point arguing, but…

Before neither of them could say or do anything, the door was flung open and hit Gibbs in the back, both he and Jen almost fell but he managed to stay on his feet and prevent Jen from falling. Gibbs turned around furiously and saw Tony standing half-hidden behind the door. They started at each other for a second.

"DiNozzo! What the hell are you doing?" he yelled and Tony jumped in surprise.

"I- I was just…I was looking for you, boss. Thought you'd be here. Where's the Director?" he said and just seconds after he saw Jen in Gibbs' arms.

"Ehm…maybe I should leave…" he said with a slight smile, but his smile faded quickly as Gibbs let go of Jen and turned to Tony.

"I mean…I-I didn't mean….I-I don't know what I mean, I just…"

Gibbs smacked him on the back of his head and signed for him to step away from the door, and Tony quickly took a few steps into the room, leaving the door open.

"You couldn't have knocked?" Gibbs asked annoyed, but he was very aware that he never knocked before entering the Director office, but that was different, Gibbs was Gibbs, and Tony was not Gibbs.

"Well, I…I was going to but…but I didn't"

That apology wasn't good enough for Gibbs and he turned to Jen's direction to hear what she had to say about this. The problem was that Jen was no longer in the room.

"Where's…" Tony began but before he could finish his sentence, Gibbs had run out of the office after her.

What the hell did she think she was doing? She couldn't just tell him their daughter was sick, admitting she loved him, tell him Amy was worse, and then not wanting him to go with her. He couldn't accept that, he simply couldn't. Besides, she shouldn't be driving in her current state. He ran the fastest he could to the garage, hoping she hadn't gotten that far. He stopped at the sound of an engine starting and looked around, trying to locate where it came from.

He identified the car as Jen's, and he started to run towards it.

Jen hit the breaks, and for a second she was afraid she had been too late. She couldn't believe him. Why would he be so stupid that he would run right towards a driving car? She thought she had hit him, but then she jumped when someone knocked on the window. She rolled it down.

"What the hell are you thinking? I could have hit you!!" she yelled, now with more tears in her eyes than ever.

"What the hell are you thinking for sneaking away from me?" he shot back.

"I asked first!"

"I was simply trying to stop you, now get out of the car"

"No, I have to go to the hospital…she's…" Jen started but was silenced by Gibbs look at her.

"Get out of the car, _please_. I'll drive"

Suddenly Jen started to sob.

"Oh God, Jethro, what will happen? What will happen to our daughter?" she cried. Gibbs open the door and wrapped his arms tightly around her, she cried into his shoulder.

"She will be ok, Jenny. I promise you that she won't die" he said, trying to calm her down.

"How can you be so sure? How can you just like that tell me she won't die?"

"Because, I won't let her, Jen. Don't you trust me?" he said and kissed her head.

"I trust you, Jethro, you know that" she assured him.

"Come on, let's get you into the passenger seat" Gibbs said and carefully got her out of the car. They stood in each others arms for a few minutes, giving each other comfort. Jen had her arms wrapped tightly around his waist.

"Let's go" he whispered at last and led her to her seat. When she was sitting in the car he walked around it back to the driver's seat, lucky he had stopped her in time, even if it could have cost him his life. They drove in silence, Jen was looking out through the window, crying, and Gibbs thought about Kelly. He remembered how hard it had been for him when he lost her, he couldn't imagine having to go through it again. That was why Amy had to survive, because if she would die, he knew he would have to take care of Jen and help her through it, but he didn't think he would be able to handle it himself. He didn't know Amy, didn't know what color she liked, or if she liked horseback-riding, but he knew Jen, and the pain she would feel would surely affect him just as much. That was why Amy had to survive; he couldn't stand to see Jen hurt.

_Leave me a review!! Please? _


	6. Two pair of the same eyes

Gibbs parked the car in the hospital parking lot. He looked over at Jen; it didn't look like she had noticed they had stopped, so he got out of the car and walked over to the passenger seat. He opened the door and bent down to her level.

"Jenny" he said and took her hand. She finally looked at him. "We're here, let me help you out of the car" he said and released her seatbelt before helping her get out. She didn't say anything, just leaned against him as they walked towards the entrance and Gibbs wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

They walked to the reception, and since Jen didn't seem to be able to open her mouth and speak, Gibbs had to do the talking.

"We just got a call about our daughter, Amy Shepard" he said and the nurse behind the desk looked it up on her computer.

"Ok, well you can't see her right away, because she's in a critical condition at the moment" she explained "Please sit down and wait, and I'll update you as soon as I know anything"

Gibbs grabbed Jen and walked her to chair and forced her down into it. She hadn't spoken since they got there, but now she opened her mouth.

"Jethro" she just said at first and he looked at her.

"Yes, Jenny?"

"I'm scared" she whispered and Gibbs reached out and took her hand in his.

"I know. But she will be fine, I promise" he said and with his free hand he stroked her hair.

She leaned against him and she felt much more relaxed when she felt the warmth of his body giving her comfort. She still couldn't believe she was back in his arms. She had always loved the way he had hold her, so gentle, but still very loving, firm, but very protective. All these years, she had wondered why she never told him about their daughter, maybe it was because she had been afraid he would leave her, but on the other hand, that would only mean he would leave her, not the baby, she knew how much Gibbs loved children.

"She will be fine" he repeated, and she was brought back to reality.

"I know. I know she will be, because I trust you , Jethro" she said and reached up to kiss him. He kissed her back pulled her closer to him. He whispered "She will be fine" over and over again until Jen had fallen asleep.

Gibbs sat with the sleeping Jen in his arms, for how long he didn't know. At last a doctor came up to them.

"Hi, I'm Dr Rowan" she introduced herself. "Are you here with Miss Shepard?"

"Yeah, why do you look so surprised?" Gibbs asked

"It's just that...she has never brought someone else with her before. Anyway, she can see her daughter now" Dr Rowan said. "And it's family only, so we'd prefer it if you could wait outside at first, unless if Miss Shepard wants you to come with her" she added.

"Oh, I think she'd want me to come with her. Especially since I'm Amy's father" Gibbs said and hid a smile at the sight of the Dr's stunned face.

"Jen, honey, wake up" he said softly and shook her carefully. Jen moaned and slowly opened her eyes.

"What, Jethro?"

"We can see Amy now" he said and helped her up. He had his arm around her waist to support her.

"Oh, hi Dr Rowan" Jenny said when she saw the young Dr.

"Hi. You can follow me to her room" she said and started to walk towards a door.

Jen looked up at Gibbs, and he bent down and kissed her forehead.

"Are you sure you wanna meet her?" Jen asked, knowing it was a stupid question, but she just wanted to make sure he hadn't changed his mind.

"Yeah, I wanna meet her" he said and they reached the door. Jen let go of Gibbs and hurried in. Gibbs hesitated, he couldn't see Amy, because a doctor was blocking the view. Suddenly the Doctor stepped aside and he saw her, his daughter. He froze. For a second he thought it was Kelly. Jen had been right, she did have his eyes. And she had Jen's read hair. This was so painful, he could barely stand the sight of that little sick girl, looking so much like Kelly he thought he would faint.

"Hey sweetie" Jen greeted her daughter, and Amy managed to smile at her mommy.

"I have a surprise for you. I found your father, he's here and would very much like to see you" Jen explained and Amy looked so happy to hear this. Then she started to cough.

"Are you ok, baby?" Jen asked, but Amy said "Where is he?"

"He's right..." Jen started and looked up towards the door, and there was no sign of Gibbs.

"Mom, where is my dad?" Amy asked again, and Jen told her to wait, and then she walked out of the room. Out in the hallway she looked around, and in a chair to her left sat a familiar figure. She walked up to him.

"Jethro! What are you doing out here? Come in and say hello to her"

"Jen..." he said quietly without looking at her.

"What?" she said, sounding a bit angry.

"She...she looks so much like Kelly..." he said weakly and looked up at her. She frowned and sat down beside him.

"I understands if it's hard for you, but please, I need you in there, Jethro. Amy need you" Jen said and took his hand, it was very cold, so she used both her hands to rub it warm.

"What if I accidentally calls her Kelly?"

"It doesn't matter, as long as you come with me" she said and stood up, still holding his hand tightly. He hesitated for a second, then he stood up too, and together they walked towards Amy's room.

"Amy, here he is" Jenny said when they entered the room. The girl looked up and smiled at the old man who had just come in.

"Hi, my name is Amy" she said in a soft, beautiful voice. Gibbs smiled at her, both glad and surprised that his smile came naturally.

"Hi Amy, I'm Jethro Gibbs"

Amy smiled at him, and he kept smiling, this was easier than he had thought it would be. Now when he looked closer, she wasn't so much like Kelly as he had first thought she was, but she still reminded him of her. He looked at Jen, who smiled too, and together they moved towards the bed.

Two pairs of the same eyes met, red hair met red hair when a mother bent down to hug her child. Three faces turned to look at the doctor who had just spoken, and Jen and Gibbs followed her out to listen what she had to say about their daughter's condition.


	7. Can't be Alone

_Hello! I'm so sorry for the late update, but I have a very good reason. First of all, our computer crashed, second of all, that happened just a few days before I went to India for three weeks. Right when we got home we handed it in for fixing, and that took a week or so, but now I'm back with another great (I hope) chapter, and there will be more!_

"How is she?" Jen looked at Gibbs as he spoke, she hadn't expected him to even have the time to ask before she did, but apparently he had found some.

"Well, she was very bad, but she is better now. We're not expecting it will happen again" Dr Rowan said with a little smile. Jen just realized she was holding on to Gibbs' arm very tight and decided to loosen her grip a bit.

"Thank God" she said and looked up at Gibbs, who smiled at her. "I think I'll stay here tonight, as usual" she continued, and the doctor nodded, but Gibbs didn't.

"You should go home, Jen" he said "Take a shower, change clothes. My team members have noticed you've worn the same clothes a few days in a row. I can drive you to your place" he offered and she bit her lip, considering what he had said.

"Fine, a shower sounds tempting" she finally said and the Dr nodded and left to check up on another patient.

Gibbs moved himself so he was standing right in front of her.

"I understand you wanna see her before we leave, right?" he said, already knowing the answer.Jen nodded and he took her hand, walking her into their daughter's room.

When they entered the room, Amy looked up at them and her eyes met Gibbs'. She was beautiful, he noticed, and they smiled at each other. Jen looked from Gibbs to Amy and led him closer to her bed.

"I'm sure you guys will get a long really well once you get to know each other a little better" Jen said and smiled too.

"Dad, are you in love with mom?" Amy asked and Jen looked at Gibbs, still smiling.

"I am" he answered and met Jen's gaze before he looked at Amy.

"You think you'll love me?" she asked and Gibbs leaned closer to her

"I don't think that will be a problem" he answered and she smiled, but her smiled quickly turned into a yawn.

"Ok sweetie, time for you to go to sleep I think" Jen said when she saw that, of course, Amy didn't agree.

"Mom! I wanna talk to dad a little more" she complained but Gibbs stood up.

"She's right, you need to sleep" he said and Amy pouted.

"Is it ok if your dad and I go home for the night?" Jen asked "Then nice doctors will take very good care of you tonight, or they will be answering to me" she continued.

"Will you at least stay until I fall asleep?"

"Of course"

The nurses came and made Amy ready for the night. Amy kissed her parents good night and closed her eyes to sleep. Jen and Gibbs sat close; she rested her head on his shoulder and held Amy's hand in hers.

"I think she's asleep now" Gibbs whispered and Jen forced herself to let go of her daughter and follow Gibbs out.

"This is the first time I've left her over the night" she said and sighed sadly.

"She will be fine" he assured her and Jen nodded, she believed Amy would be fine, but she wasn't so sure about herself.

"I'll take you home" he said and they walked together to her car. Jen glanced over her shoulder back at the door several times until they turned and the door was no longer visible. Gibbs felt her shaking and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. They walked out through the door and located her car. They drove in silence, but it was total chaos in Jen's brain. She thought about everything that had happened, the fact that Gibbs was sitting next to her in the car, the fact that they had kissed… And of course, the fact that she was his boss… If someone found out about them, she was pretty sure she would loose her Director's position. She had been Director of NCIS a little more than a year, was she ready to give up everything she had worked for to be with Gibbs? Of course she would. And that's what scared her, the fact that she would do anything just to be with him.

"Jenny?" Gibbs voice brought her back to reality. She looked up at him.

"What?"

"We're at your place" he said and she looked out and saw the familiar building that was her house.

"Right. Thanks for the ride" she said, a little embarrassed, but she didn't move, didn't want to be alone.

"I could park your car and walk home…" he started but she shook her head.

"No, drive home and come pick me up tomorrow morning" she said and unbuckled her seatbelt.

"Ok, see you tomorrow, then" he said and leaned towards her and kissed her, and Jen closed her eyes and for a second enjoyed the feeling of his lips against her own. She pulled away from him.

"Good night" she said and quickly got out of the car and in through the doors and rushed up to her apartment. Gibbs frowned over her behaviour. Had he done something wrong? Not what he knew of…

He started the car and drove of, just as Jen pulled the curtains aside to look if he was still there, and she saw him take off. She turned around and looked around in her living room. Empty. Lonely. She sat down on her couch, after throwing her coat on an armchair nearby. She picked up the remote and turned on the TV, to break the silence. But that didn't help her clear her mind. She had gotten so used to being secretly in love with Gibbs, and knowing she could never have him, that now when she actually had him she didn't know what to do, what to feel. The only thing she knew was that she risked losing both her daughter, the love of her life and her job.

She stood up and walked over to a chest of drawers, pulled out one of the drawers and picked up a box. She walked back to the couch, sat down and opened the box. It was filled with photographs. She picked up the one lying on top; it was the one with her outside the little farmer's house in Serbia Gibbs had taken. She looked at the one beneath it; it was of Amy when the two of them had been to Disney World last summer, before she had gotten sick.

It wasn't that she was afraid of being home along, she just wasn't used to it. She wanted some company, especially right now. She wanted Gibbs, wanted him to hold her close to him, he was the only one who had ever had the power to make her feel safe. She walked into her bedroom, still thinking about him as she took off her clothes, remembering the times when he had done that for her and that made her smile. She put on her robe and went to the bathroom to take a shower.

Gibbs was in his basement, working on his boat, as usual. He had just started painting the name on the boat. _Kelly._ Everything was quiet, no TV, no radio, nothing. He liked the silence, and the smell of sawdust that the air was thick with. Jen had always liked that smell too; he smiled as he thought about that. He wondered, if he had proposed to her, how long their marriage would have lasted, and laughed. That would have required for her to say 'yes' to his proposal. He took a sip of the beer he had opened and continued to work on the letters on the boat.

"Jethro" he suddenly heard a voice saying, he looked up and saw Jen standing on top of the stairs. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen her like this; she was wearing grey sweat-pants and a NCIS sweat-shirt he was pretty sure had been his, but had never gotten it back from her when the had broken up. Her hair was wet from the rain and she wore no make-up.

"Jenny, what are you doing here?" he asked and put down his brush along with the jar of paint.

"I didn't want to be alone" she answered, she hadn't moved, still standing on the stairs.

"Why didn't you just tell me that? I would have stayed with you" he said and she took a few steps down, and stopped again. She closed her eyes, she knew that, and she didn't know why she hadn't asked him.

"Jethro…" she said again, this time her voice was weaker, sadder. Gibbs sensed something was wrong, so he took a few quick steps and was at the end of the stair in a second, waiting for her to come down to him, which she did, walking slowly the last steps and then ended up in his arms. He quietly rubbed her back and she let her herself get lost in his touch. She looked over his shoulder, and she noticed the boat.

"You finished it?" she said and let go of him to take a closer look.

"Almost" he said and followed her as she moved along the boat.

"What are you gonna name…?" she didn't finish her question, she didn't need to. The name was right in front of her. "_Kelly" _she read and he caught up with her just as she spoke the name. She jumped slightly when he laid his hand on her shoulder; she turned her head and looked into his eyes, those blue, beautiful eyes.

"You didn't have to walk here, you should have called me and I would have come to pick you up" he said, changing the subject.

"I didn't walk" she said with a small smile "I took a cab. But I should have called you, especially since I planned on staying here over-night"

Gibbs raised his eyebrows and she continued "I put my stuff in you bedroom"

"You didn't wanna sleep alone" he said, and she nodded.

"No, I wanna sleep with you" she said and realized her choice of words when it was too late; Gibbs was smiling at her and was looking rather surprised.

"No, not like that" she quickly corrected herself "Jethro, I don't want to do anything tonight, just sleep, with you by my side, keeping me safe"

"Whatever you say" he told her, still smiling that attractive smile of his, making her knees go weak.

"Good" she replied and leaned in and kissed him, closed her eyes and felt his hands slid around her waist and up her back while she wrapped her own around his neck.

Meanwhile, a lone figure was standing outside Gibbs' house, hiding under a black umbrella. It was Abby. She had never seen Jen look the way she had when she rushed into Gibbs' house, and she had carried a bag. Abby had begun to suspect Gibbs and Jen was in a relationship when she had seen them together in the elevator earlier, and this had just made her surer she was right. She herself was on her way to visit Gibbs when she had seen Jen, and now she was in no mood to interrupt them, she didn't want them to know she knew about them. Abby turned away from the house, picked up her phone and called a friend and asked if he could pick her up, then she disappeared into the night.

Unaware of the fact that their secret had been discovered, Jen and Gibbs had left the basement and were now in his bedroom, in bed. She was lying on her back, with him on top, both dressed in their pyjamas. They were kissing, slow, romantic kisses. Jen's hands were resting on Gibbs lower back, and his were somewhere around her face, and one of her legs was slightly bent.

"Jethro…" she said between the kisses

"Yeah?" he answered and looked down at her, she winced.

"You're heavy"

He stared into her eyes for a moment, then he took her completely by surprise when he quickly rolled over, pulling her on top of him. Jen laughed.

"Better?"

"Much" she said and kissed him again. He slid one of his hands under her top, feeling her skin underneath his fingertips. She didn't tell him to stop, she knew he would never do anything she wouldn't approve of, and she allowed him to touch her, in decent places.

"I think…I wanna sleep now" she said between the kisses. He broke apart and nodded.

"Okay"

She slid off him and snuggled up against his side, her head resting on his arm, her own arm lay across his chest.

"Good night, Jethro" she said and closed her eyes.

"Night, Jen" he said back and kissed her forehead. He wasn't tired yet, but he couldn't go up and work on his boat right now, Jen needed him here in order to feel safe. So he lay there, enjoying the scent of her shampoo, until he fell asleep himself.


	8. I love you

The next morning, Jen woke up alone, in a bed she didn't know, in a room she barely remembered. But there was a certain smell, the smell of sawdust that suddenly made her realize where she was. Gibbs'. She turned around in the bed, it was empty. She rolled over to where he had been lying. He couldn't have been up for long; the spot was still warm where he had slept. She enjoyed the warmness against her skin, and with that feeling, she fell asleep again.

Gibbs was in the kitchen, making breakfast for himself and Jen. He hadn't wanted to wake her, not yet, but he knew he had to now. It had been a long time since he had woken up in bed with her. He opened the door to his bedroom, noticed that she was lying on his side of the bed, and smiled. He walked to the bed and crawled up next to her, rubbed her arm as he whispered her name.

"Jen…Jenny…Time to wake up"

Jen mumbled something, and tried to turn away from him.

"Come on Jen" he said and started to gently shake her shoulder, before he bent down and kissed her. Gibbs felt her smile, so he pressed his lips against hers one more time, and she couldn't keep pretending to sleep, but kissed him back.

"So you are awake?" he teased her when he pulled away, and she hit him gently on the chest.

"Breakfast's ready" he said a held out his hand to help her up, she took it and got to her feet, and they walked into the kitchen hand-in-hand.

"Coffee?" he asked her out in the kitchen, a stupid thing to ask he knew.

"What do you think?" was her answer and he smiled slightly as he poured her a cup.

"Thank you"

They sat at his table in silence, opposite to each other. The silence was not awkward, but still not comfortable. Both of them wanted to say something, but neither knew how to start. When Gibbs opened his mouth, Jen already knew what was coming.

"You know what I'm thinking, but I'm gonna say it anyway. We're not gonna tell the others about us, right?" he said and Jen couldn't help but smile.

"No, it's a secret" she answered "and the best way to keep a secret is to keep it to yourself. Second-best, tell one other person, if you must. There is no third-best"

They both laughed after she said that. It was rule number 4, one of all the rules Gibbs had taught Jen years ago.

"Yeah, I guess we have move to the second-best way to keep a secret" Gibbs said. Jen reached over the table and took his hand.

"I guess we have"

He looked deep into her eyes.

"We should get ready for work" he said, and Jen looked at the watch on the wall.

"Oh crap! I have a meeting with the SecNav in forty-five minutes" she said and hurried into his bedroom, leaving Gibbs smiling at the table. He couldn't help but to think about how nice it had been to have someone sharing his bed. He heard Jen running around in the bedroom, getting ready for work; he figured he would do the same.

He put their cups in the sink and began walking into his bedroom, but he stopped in the doorway. Jen was standing with her back to him, putting on a bra. She didn't know he was watching her, but he couldn't bring himself to leave, either. He longed to hold her again, to touch her again. She had put on her bra now, and now she put on a shirt and started to button it. When she was done, she turned around and saw him. She raised her eyebrows and he opened his mouth to say something, but she cut him off.

"You don't have to say anything" she said and noticed his eyes moving up and down her body, checking out her outfit. She was wearing a black skirt and a white long-sleeved shirt. She had no make-up yet and her short hair was still messy from last night's make-out session.

"You look good" he told her and she smiled

"That's a nice compliment coming from you" she said and he smiled too, walking up to her.

"Well, right now I'm just being honest" he said, took her face in his hands and kissed her. Much as she enjoyed it, Jen had to pull away a few seconds later.

"Jethro, I'd love to do this, but I have to get to work" she excused herself and went into the bathroom to put on some make-up. Gibbs figured he too had to get dressed for work, and with the picture of Jen's naked back in his mind, he went to his closet.

Jen was in the bathroom, applying lipstick. She sighed at her reflection in the mirror, trying to think about something other than him. She had enjoyed sleeping next to him again; he had always had the power to make her feel safe. That wasn't the only affect he had on her, she had always been drawn to him. Sexually drawn. In a way she regretted telling him she didn't want to _do _anything yet, in a way she didn't, it would have been too soon. But tonight… maybe she would be ready, or maybe she just wouldn't be able to stop herself.

Gibbs peeked into the bathroom.

"Jen, I got a call from DiNozzo, we have a case. I left my car at work, so I'll just drive you there and then I take my car to the crime scene" he said and she nodded. He didn't leave; he appeared to be waiting for her so she took a last look in the mirror before walking up to him.

"Let's go then, just let me get my suit jacket" she said and kissed him on the cheek before she walked back into the bedroom to get her jacket and her purse. When she came out again he was standing at the front door, waiting for her.

"What was the case?" Jen asked him while they walked from the front door of his house to her car. He opened the passenger door for her to get in.

"A missing lieutenant, don't know anything more" Gibbs said she gave him a look before jumping in to the car. He closed the door and walked round the car to the front seat and got in.

"Ok, 15 minutes until my meeting with the SecNav, can you please hurry up?" she asked

"Sure, besides, I'm sure my team is really wondering where I am" he answered and they continued to chat until he parked the car in her parking space in the NCIS parking lot.

Meanwhile, Abby had just parked her car herself, but she hadn't gotten out yet. She saw a car pull up in the Director's space.

"Well, here comes the Director" she said to herself "Wonder what she was doing at Gibbs' house yesterday". The next second she was taken completely by surprise when it was Gibbs who climbed out of the driver's seat and then she saw Jen coming out of the passenger's seat.

Gibbs walked up to Jen

"If you were to get a call from the hospital about Amy, you call me, ok?" he asked just to make sure, and she nodded.

"Of course I'll call you. Why wouldn't I?" she asked and frowned.

"Well, I was just making sure since you tried to avoid bringing me to the hospital yesterday"

"That was DiNozzo's fault; I just wanted to get to her fast. But you have my word that I will call you"

They stood rather close, and Gibbs leaned down and kissed her goodbye.

"I love you" he said and turned to walk towards his car. Jen checked her watch, she had to hurry if she was gonna get to MTAC in time for the meeting. She couldn't help but smile at what he had just told her. She waved at him before she started to walk towards the NCIS building.

Abby was too speechless to even talk to herself. What had she just seen? Had she really just seen Gibbs kiss Jenny? No way. Abby was seriously considering calling in sick today. But when she thought about it, it confirmed her suspicions of Gibbs and Jen being a couple. She just couldn't believe it. Abby waited until both Jen and Gibbs had disappeared before she got out of her car. She wasn't gonna tell anyone, she knew better than that, but she wasn't sure if she would tell Jen and Gibbs that she knew about them yet, they probably want this to be a secret, for the moment.

Around noon Jen took a break from work and walked out of her office. She stood on the little balcony and looked out over the squad-room. She watched Gibbs and his team work on their case. She wondered what DiNozzo had just said, Gibbs had just slapped him on the back of the head. She smiled to herself, and just as she did so, Gibbs looked up and saw her. Jen gave him a little wave, and he nodded back. She was glad they were together again, glad she had told him about Amy. Now she wouldn't have to fight against her feelings for him, which would sometimes make work easier. What would be the difficult part was that work could also lead to a number of fights between the two of them. Her gaze wandered over the squad-room, and when she searched for Gibbs again he was no longer at his desk, but on his way up the stairs, probably to her.

"How's it going?" Jen asked as he reached her, standing beside her. Gibbs explained what they were dealing with and Jen listened.

"You think you'll find the lieutenant?" she asked.

"Yeah, we will" he just said when his cell called. "Yeah, Gibbs? Be right there" he said and hung up.

"It was Abby, said she's got something. I better go take a look" he said and Jen nodded. Gibbs started to walk towards the stairs when he heard Jen call his name, and he turned around and walked back to her.

"Yes?"

"I was thinking, maybe we could go out and eat something tonight, if you're not busy with your case, of course" Jen asked

"I guess we could do that, but where do we go?"

"You leave that to me, go to Abby's now" Jen answered and Gibbs looked into her eyes and briefly touched her hand before he turned and walked away towards the elevators.

Jen walked back into her office, she had work to finish and she had to make the dinner reservation for tonight. It was Friday, so she thought a nice, quiet dinner would be relaxing after a week of work.

It was very late now, a bit after eight in the evening, and Gibbs team was out trying to find their missing lieutenant. Jen stood on the balcony, in the same spot she had been standing earlier, waiting for them to come back. She picked up her cell phone and dialled his number.

"Yeah, Gibbs?" she heard him answer after a few seconds.

"It's Jenny, where are you?" she asked and bit her lip anxiously

"You don't see me?" he asked back, and Jen frowned.

"No, how could I possibly see you?" just when she said that, she saw the elevator doors downstairs open, and Gibbs stepped out along with the rest of his team.

"What about now, Jen?"

"Ok, now I do see you. Did you find the man?" she said and smiled as he looked up at her.

"Yeah, he's injured but he will be ok, he's in the hospital" Gibbs told her as he reached his desk.

"We have reservations at a restaurant at nine o'clock, are you ready to head out?"

"Yeah, you know, just gotta swing by the house, why don't you tell me which restaurant we're eating at and I will meet you there at nine o'clock" Gibbs suggested and Jen gave him the name of the restaurant and asked him what it was that he had to do, but he just said she had no need to know.

They hung up and she walked back into her office, still wondering what it was that he had to do. She sat down at her desk, she couldn't leave yet, if she did she would have to wait for him at the restaurant, and she would rather sit here and wait.

There was a knock on the door and Cynthia stepped in. "I'm heading home now, Director. Have a nice evening"

"Good night Cynthia" Jen answered and gave her assistant a smile.

The time passed and after a while Jen decided she would leave for the restaurant. On her way out she passed through the squad-room, where Tony was almost the only one left.

"Aren't you gonna go home soon, DiNozzo?" Jen asked him as she was passing by him.

"Hi Jenny, just thought I'd get some work done, to get Gibbs pleased" Tony answered and looked up at her.

"You don't have a date tonight?" Jen sounded almost shocked

"Funny. No, my girlfriend's working tonight"

"Right, good night Tony"

"Good night Jenny"

Jen walked to the elevator and the doors opened almost immediately, revealing Abby inside.

"Hey Abs, you heading home?" Jen asked, slightly surprised at how many people were still here this late on a Friday night.

"No, I have a party to go to. You?" Abby said as the doors closed

"I have a date" Jen just said, she didn't know Abby knew perfectly well who she was going out with. Abby just nodded, this wasn't the time to say she knew their secret.

Some minutes later, Jen stood outside the restaurant, waiting for Gibbs to come. The clock was almost nine when someone came up behind her and whispered "Turn around" in her ear. She smiled to herself before she did so, and found herself looking into Gibbs' blue eyes. He was holding a bouquet of red roses in his hand.

"These are for you" he said and held out the roses for her.

"Jethro, they're beautiful!" she said and kissed him. He offered her his arm, and they walked into the restaurant together.

_Ok, next chapter will be about their evening, and it will also be much more about Amy. Thanks for reading and please, please leave me a review!!!_


	9. A Special Night

"Thanks for the flowers, Jethro. It was really sweet of you" Jen said as they sat down at their reserved table, opposite each other.

"My pleasure" he answered and couldn't help but smile at her.

"So, how long has it been since the last time you ate at a restaurant?" she asked and smiled too.

"No idea" he laughed. His laughter ceased, and they sat in silence for a while, looking in their menus.

"I've missed this" Jen said out of nowhere. Gibbs looked up at her, she wasn't reading her menu anymore, she now looked at him.

"Missed what?" he wasn't completely sure of what she was talking about. She made a little laugh, but she looked quite serious.

"I've missed this, us. You and me. I don't think I ever stopped loving you, Jethro. Even though I was really pissed at you when I left, but the passion never really died. So I'm glad we worked this out" she said, and Gibbs reached out across the small table and took her hand.

"Me too, believe me. Me too"

A waitress came and they ordered their food. Gibbs was quiet for a little while, trying to make up his mind if he was gonna tell her or not.

"What is it, Jethro?" she could sense something was wrong with him, or rather she could see it in his eyes.

"I want to tell you something, Jen, especially now when we are doing this again. I know I should have told you years ago. You deserve to know" he said, and she frowned.

"What is it?" she repeated

"I should tell you about Shannon and Kelly" Gibbs said, and now it was Jen's turn to take his hand.

"I do want to know about them, but not now. Can't we save that conversation for some other night? I just want us to enjoy ourselves tonight" Jen said and Gibbs nodded.

"You're right, we can have that conversation another time" he said and looked into her eyes and continued "Have you heard anything about Amy today?"

"Yes, the hospital called after lunch, told me she was feeling good and that she wanted us to come see her tomorrow" Jen said and looked back into his eyes. They sat like that for a few minutes, just enjoying the quiet conversation between them. The silence went over to small talk, mostly about memories, which continued even after they had gotten their food.

"I'm glad you remember so much, Jethro" Jen laughed, referring to the first time she had seen him after the accident when she had talked about Serbia, and he had had no memory of that.

He laughed too "Yeah, me too, but there is still some things I didn't remember, not until you told me about them, it came back to me in flashbacks"

"Yeah, I'm not sure I wanna know what those flashbacks contained, considering what we used to do back then, and a lot of it" Jen said and drank from her water.

"Yeah, you're right, you don't wanna know" he answered, and smiled. "Does your food taste good?"

"Very, yours?"

"It's great" he said and they finished the delicious meal while they continued to chat.

"Would you like some dessert?" the waitress asked as she took their plates, Jen looked at Gibbs.

"No, we're fine, thank you" she answered and the waitress left.

"Ok, am I supposed to have a clue about what you are suggesting?" Gibbs asked, but Jen saw a light in his eyes, a quite familiar light.

"No. I don't feel like being alone tonight either, and I thought we could go to my place, have something to drink and maybe some chocolate for dessert" she explained and he nodded.

"I won't leave you alone, Jenny" he promised. After a little argument, Gibbs paid the bill and they left the restaurant together. Jen was holding Gibbs hand in hers, and in the other hand she held the flowers he had bought her.

"We should go in our own cars and meet up at your place" Gibbs suggested and she nodded, still considering weather or not she wanted something to happen tonight, or if she just wanted a nice, quiet evening with small talk and memories. But deep inside, she kind of knew what would happen if they got too deep into their memories.

She kissed him goodbye at her car and watched him walk away towards his own, before putting in the key and start her car.

Jen reached her house before Gibbs, so she thought she'd go inside and take out something to drink. She went in, hung up her coat but didn't bother to take off her suit jacket or change clothes at all. As always, the first thing she did was check her answering machine. No messages from the hospital, a good sign.

She found an unopened bottle of wine and a box of chocolate that she put out on the living room table. She stood still thinking for a second, before taking out the box of photographs from earlier. She didn't open it, just put in on the table next to the wine. Jen noticed something was missing. She smiled when she realized she'd forgotten to take out glasses. When she had found two crystal wine glasses and put them on the table, she lit some candles and put the roses in a vase on the tiny table in the corner of the room.

Jen stood inspecting the candle lit room. Perfect, she thought as she heard someone open the door, and she smiled. Gibbs was never one to knock. Jen walked to the doorway leading from the living room to the foyer, and looked at him as he took off his jacket.

"What took you so long?" Jen asked as he hung up his jacket.

"My car was parked pretty far away, so I had to walk for a while" he said and walked towards her "What do we do now?"

She just smiled and walked into the living room. "Want some wine?"

"Does that mean you want me to stay the night, 'cause I can't drink if I have to drive home" Gibbs stated and followed her to the couch and sat down close to her.

"Do you want to stay?"

"If you want me to"

"Of course I do, you can take the couch" she joked and touched his arm.

"If you share it with me" he shot back, not knowing if he meant it as a joke or if he was serious. Jen chose to not answer that, instead she poured wine into their glasses and handed him one.

"We'll see about that" she said, mostly to herself, but he had heard her perfectly.

"Whenever you're ready, we'll share it" he replied, and she looked up at him. He smiled and took a sip of his wine.

"What's in the box?" he asked and nodded his head towards the box on the table. Jen put down her glass onto the table and picked up the box instead.

"Photographs" she said and he put down his glass as well. She opened the box and Gibbs gaze fell upon the first photo. It was of Amy at Disney land. He picked it up and looked at it. His daughter. Jen smiled and slowly rubbed his back. Gibbs looked at the one that had been lying underneath the first one. He recognized it immediately. It was the one he had given Jen months ago of her outside the farm house in Serbia.

"I just figured you'd like to see how Amy looked like when she was younger" Jen explained in a soft voice as she studied his face.

"You should have told me" he said, not sounding angry, but hurt "You should have let me know you were pregnant, and we could have worked it out"

"You were with someone else by the time I found out I was pregnant"

"You still should have told me" he repeated, now looking up at her, meeting her gaze. He hadn't meant to sound so angry, but it had just slipped out of him. Usually Jen wasn't the vulnerable type, but these days she had cried easily, probably from both fear of losing a child and all the feelings that came with that, and everything going on with him. When he met her gaze, he noticed that his tone of voice had caused a few tears to escape from her eyes.

"I didn't mean for it to come out like that" he apologised and lightly wiped the tears from her cheek. "I'm sorry"

"No, you have the right to be mad" she said "I guess I just thought I'd never see you again, then when I became Director I was a bit worried at first, but once I met you I felt like everything went fine. Until…"

"She got sick" Gibbs finished the sentence for her. Jen nodded.

"I was certain that nothing was gonna happen between us, nothing _could _happen between us, since I'm your boss, which actually is a tiny problem"

"So you thought you didn't have to tell me, because I had no need to know, is that about right?"

"Something like that. I figured it would only complicate things" Jen confessed "Do you forgive me?" she added with a slightly worried expression on her face. Gibbs pulled her closer to him and kissed her head.

"I take that as a yes" she said and reached out for a piece of chocolate and put it in his mouth.

"Thanks" he said and she smiled. She was leaning against him with her arms wrapped around his waist, he had one of his arms around her body and so they sat while looking at the photos in the box. There were pictures of Amy as a kid, of Jen and Gibbs together in Europe, and at the bottom, a few of Jen as a child. When they had looked through the box, Gibbs put it down on the floor, he was glad Jen had showed him this. He leaned back against the couch, and Jen crawled up against his chest. Neither said a word. Gibbs knew what he wanted to do, but he was afraid she would dismiss him. He longed to kiss her and hold her close, closer than they already were, but he didn't know if she wanted to.

When Jen looked up into his eyes, she immediately knew she wanted to give herself to him. She finally dropped the defence she had been holding inside herself, she had tried to defend herself from the deepest of her feelings for him, and when she now dropped that defence, her heart began to beat faster, her fingers ached to touch him, and her lips longed for his.

Her hand slid up around his neck when she pulled him down to her to kiss him. The kiss was deep and she felt him kiss back, knowing that this was what he had wanted too. Jen pushed him down on the couch, she couldn't straddle him because of her skirt, but this worked fine.

The kissing increased and got deeper. Gibbs pulled off Jen's suit jacket and his hands wandered over her back. Jen hesitated, what the hell were they doing?

"Jethro, what are we doing?" she said breathlessly as she pulled away from the kissing. He stopped and looked at her, frowning.

"What, Jen? I thought you wanted to…" he said confused but couldn't finish his sentence because Jen had put her hand over his mouth.

"Shut up. I do want to, but probably not on my couch" she said and removed her hand.

"What about in the bedroom?" Gibbs suggested and Jen smiled as they both got up from the couch.

"Will you help me blew out the candles first?" she asked and together they blew out every burning candle in the room. Jen found her way back into his arms, and they made their way into her bedroom, where they collapsed onto the bed, her on top.

"This is better" she said as she kissed him lightly and started to unbutton his shirt.

"I'm flashing back to Paris" he just said and copied her actions by unbuttoning her shirt.

"Don't, you gotta learn to live in the now" she replied as her shirt slid off her body. They kissed heavily once again, losing one piece of cloth after another.

They made love with hunger, both having waited for so long for this moment. For Jen it actually felt like if they were back in Paris, or rather, it felt like no time had passed since Paris. This was just as amazing now as it had been back then. They fell asleep in each others arms, both exhausted, but happy.

_Ok, it wasn't so much Amy in the chapter, but she will be in the next, I promise. I hope you liked it and please leave me a review!_


	10. Don't You Care?

When Jen woke up the next morning she was surprised to find Gibbs still asleep. She must have really tired him out last night, she thought jokingly. She smiled slightly as she slid her hand across his naked chest. They were lying close, his arms tightly around her body. She didn't regret what they had done, something she was afraid she would. She moved her hand from his chest and pulled it through his hair, his beautiful silver hair. As she did, his eyes suddenly flicked open, and his gaze fell upon her face.

"Good morning" she said rather sleepily, still with her hand in his hair.

"Yeah, good morning to you too" he answered without taking his eyes off her face.

"You ok?" Jen asked when he hadn't said anything in a while.

"Yeah, I'm just a bit tired. You never could pace yourself, Jen" he said and they smiled at each other. With his arms in a firm grip around her waist he pulled her on top of himself. Jen laughed. She rested her head on his chest.

"You were quite amazing last night" she told him as he copied her actions and played with her hair.

"Yeah, so they tell me" Gibbs said and Jen lifted her head and pressed her lips against his and left a deep, passionate kiss. When she pulled away she saw his eyes were closed, and she leaned in to kiss him again.

"You were pretty damn good too" he confessed the next time she pulled away, knowing she just wanted to hear his opinion.

"Do you want some breakfast?" Jen asked, knowing they better get up now, or they'd be in bed all day.

"Sure, I need coffee" he replied before rolling over, pinning her to the bed underneath him. Jen felt his body pressing against her own. She saw him leaning in to kiss her, but she covered his mouth with her hand.

"Breakfast" she responded to the surprised look on his face "We'll do this tonight"

"If you say so, Director" he responded

"I do say so, special agent Gibbs" she said, though she knew being his boss could make this situation even more complicated, but she thought she'd save that conversation till another time.

Gibbs looked down at her before he rolled off her and reached for his clothes that had been thrown away across the room. Jen had walked over to her closet and threw Gibbs old NCIS sweat shirt at him.

"You can put this on if you want. It's actually yours, hope you haven't missed it" she said as he put down his shirt on the bed and put on the sweat shirt instead.

"To be honest I didn't know you had it" he said. It smelled of her perfume and he figured she had worn it quite often. Jen had put on underwear and a white shirt that was way too big for her, the sleeves were folded and it reached down to her upper thighs. Gibbs put on his pants as Jen walked into the kitchen to make some coffee.

Jen was feeling quite happy, which felt good because she hadn't been happy since Amy got ill. But now everything seemed to change. She was back together with Gibbs, and his feelings for her appeared to be as strong as hers for him. She instinctively knew he was the love of her life, and she would fight her hardest to make this work, she didn't want this to end the way it had ended the last time. She didn't want this to end at all… But how would that be? Would they get married? Or better question, would he propose? And would she say yes without a doubt? Would they live happily ever after?

Gibbs hand on her shoulder interrupted her thoughts.

"Jenny, you ok?" he asked, concerned. Jen forced a smile.

"Why wouldn't I be ok?" she lied, still with all the unanswered questions in her head.

"You just looked a bit…thoughtful" he said as she turned around to face him.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me" she said and wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. After the kiss she hugged him, and her head rested on his shoulder.

"I don't want to lose you Jethro. I don't want to lose what we have" she said quietly into his ear. Gibbs understood what she was talking about; their relationship, just not why.

"You won't lose me, Jen. And we're not gonna lose this"

"I trust you, Jethro" she said just as quietly as before, but she lifted her head and looked up at him.

"But isn't it too soon to worry? I mean, this is still so new. Hell, I'm still trying to understand that we are…"

"If there's anything our last relationship taught me is that all kind of unexpected things can happen. I just don't want us to screw this up" she interrupted, not letting him finish his sentence.

"Come on, Jen! It's just been a couple of days and you're already afraid of us breaking up? Did I do something wrong? Was it something I said?" he said furiously, taking a step away from her.

"No, you didn't do anything wrong" she said, confused and slightly shocked by his tone of voice.

"Then what the hell is wrong? I thought we were happy, I thought _you_ were happy, but now you're confusing me" he said just as angry. Jen didn't back off, instead she placed her hands on his upper arms.

"I am happy, Jethro. For the first time since Amy got sick I am happy" she shot back almost as angry, and her eyes met his.

"Is that why you're afraid? Because if you lose me, you'll lose that happiness?" his voice was still cold, and he saw the anger rise in her eyes.

"Why the hell did you have to get so angry? Everything I care about is you and Amy, and every time I leave the hospital to go to work I am afraid something is gonna happen to her when I'm gone. Every time you are out chasing a killer I am afraid you'll get shot. Is that so weird? Am I weird for being afraid of losing what I got? That's something you should know a hell of a lot about, isn't it? Losing everything. Aren't you afraid? Don't you care?"

Silence. Jen realized what she had said, how awful she had been to him. Why had she said those last sentences? When she now met his gaze she saw just how much her words had hurt him. She closed her eyes, couldn't stand the look he gave her. She felt him walking away from her, her hands sliding off his arms, falling to her sides. She opened her eyes and saw him standing at the window with his back to her.

"Jethro, I am so sorry. I don't know why I said that. I'm sorry" Jen said, now she definitely had a reason to be afraid of losing him.

"You're not weird" he just said, and then he continued "I just can't believe you're implying that I'm not afraid of losing you and Amy"

"I didn't…" she hesitated; she actually had implied that he didn't care. Gibbs turned around to face her. She dared to take a few steps towards him.

"Jethro, I'm sorry. I don't know why…"

"…you said that" he finished the sentence "I do, Jen. Because you meant it. You want me to take better care of what I got, and you want me to do everything I can to prevent losing it, losing you. Just because I've been married four times doesn't mean I don't take care of my family, it just means maybe I married the wrong women" Gibbs took a step closer to her "I loved Shannon, and I loved Kelly. I protected them with my life, every time I was with them; I was always on my guard. But did it help? Did always watching over them mean they didn't get hurt? We should understand each other; you feel the same about Amy, you want to protect her"

Jen just realized tears were running down her cheeks, and she quickly wiped them away with her sleeve.

"It was stupid, what I said. I know you better than that" she said, feeling a bit awkward. She didn't dare to look at him. What had happened? Why did they have to get into fights like this? Couldn't they just get along, like they had the night before?

Jen was pulled from her thoughts as she realized he was standing right in front of her. She looked up at him and met his eyes.

"Didn't mean to make you cry" he said, and placed his hand on her neck, his thumb grazing her cheek.

"Jethro, I know you care, I just… I don't know. I love you, and I simply want our relationship to last" Jen said before he put a finger against her lips, she silenced.

"I just wanted you to realize I care, ok? I care a hell of a lot about our relationship, but I just think we don't have a reason to worry yet. We both love each other; we both want this to work, what more do we need?" he removed his finger, but she stayed silent, just nodded to tell him she understood, smiled to tell him she was glad they had worked this out. But she didn't dare to speak, she didn't know how little it took for her to start crying, and she didn't want to start weeping again. "You ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, thanks" she answered and forced a smile "I believe the coffee's ready" she added as an excuse to turn away from him, have some time to gather her thoughts. But she couldn't turn; he was holding her tightly by the shoulders.

"You're not fine" he said after looking into her eyes. Jen looked away; she was fine, just maybe not recovered from their argument. He embraced her carefully, holding her head against his chest as he rubbed her back. Jen didn't cry, she didn't do anything but relax there in his arms. She didn't speak, but she lifted her head and looked at him, before she reached up and kissed him lightly, her lips only brushing against his. It was like if she was asking if she was forgiven for what she said, not really daring to deepen the kiss until she knew.

Gibbs told her she was forgiven by opening his mouth and deepening the kiss. Jen pulled away.

"We should eat some breakfast and get ready to go to the hospital" she said and playfully pushed him away from her, before she started to pour them two cups of coffee.

_Ok, still no Amy…But I give you my word that next chapter will be at the hospital. Thanks for reading and please leave a review!!!_


	11. The Girl We Love So Much

Jen and Gibbs ate breakfast together, neither mentioned their previous fight.

"Amy will probably have a lot of questions for you" Jen warned him playfully and looked at him over her coffee cup.

"I was sort of counting on that" he answered. He paused for a minute before he continued. "You know, it sounds like she's about to come home soon"

"Yeah, the doctors said maybe a week or two at the hospital, then she can come home" Jen interrupted, sounding rather exited.

"I was just thinking… your place's much nicer than mine, maybe I could stay here for a while; get to know my daughter a little better. Only if you want me to, of course" Gibbs suggested, he realized Jen could use his help with Amy, and he felt like he owed her since she had been taking care of Amy alone for the past six, and she had gone through nine months of pregnancy and then childbirth alone.

"You can stay here for as long as you like, Jethro. But what about your boat? I know how much you like to build things, but I don't have any space…"

"It's fine, Jen. My boat's almost finish, I have places where I can keep it, don't worry. I'd rather live with you and Amy than build a boat, trust me" he assured her and she smiled at him.

"Glad to her that. I'd love to have you here Jethro" she said before she rose from her chair. "I should go and get dressed because we should probably leave soon, it's almost 11 o'clock"

She walked around the table and gave him a kiss before she walked off towards the bedroom to get changed. Gibbs didn't follow her right away. He smiled slightly to himself. For a brief second he could see himself marrying Jen. It was a nice idea indeed, though probably not in a while, he wanted to spend some time with her before they got married, he wanted to make sure they could survive as a couple this time, he didn't want to hurt neither Jen nor Amy.

"Jethro, are you coming?" Jen's voice pulled him out of his thoughts. He looked at her standing in the doorway, the shirt that was too big for her was unbuttoned, and her underwear was visible. Gibbs took in the sight of her, smiled and walked towards her. He stopped when he stood right in front of her. He looked down at her throat before his gaze moved up to her lips, then he met her eyes.

"What?" she asked as he smiled at her.

"Nothing, I was just thinking" was the simple answer he gave her.

"About last night?" she said and smiled as well.

"Maybe" he said, and she looked at him, asking him with her gaze what he meant. He just kept smiling at her, without answering.

"Fine, keep it to yourself then" she finally said, defeated.

"Yeah"

"Come on, let's get dressed" Jen said and took him by the hand and dragged him into the bedroom.

Fifteen minutes later Gibbs was standing at the front door, waiting for Jen.

"Jenny? What are you doing?" he shouted into the house.

"I'm coming" he heard her shout back from a room somewhere. Finally he heard steps that told him she was on her way. When he saw her she was carrying a book.

"What's that?" he asked and pointed at the book.

"Oh, it's just a book Amy wanted me to bring her" she answered as she put on her coat. "Let's go" she said and pushed him out through the door. While she locked the door, he stood still behind her, so that when she turned around she walked right into him.

"Sorry, I didn't realize you were standing there" she said but he just smiled at her. Jen returned his smile.

"Come on, Jethro" she just said and wrapped her arm around his waist as they walked together to her car that was parked on the street. Gibbs gave her a quick kiss before he left her at the passenger seat and walked around the car to the driver's seat. They both got into the car.

"How come you always drive?" she asked as she buckled her seatbelt.

"Do you wanna drive?" he asked and turned his head towards her.

"I didn't say that, I just asked you why you always assume I don't want to drive" she argued.

"Because you never want to drive, Jen. Remember when I always used to ask you that in Paris? You always said no, so then I stopped asking you, and you never complained" he replied as he started the engine. Jen considered what he had said for a while.

"You're right. How the hell do you remember that? I didn't even remember it until just now"

"But if you don't want to drive, why do you want me to ask?" he continued as they drove off.

"Because it's polite" she said and he looked at her.

"That the only reason you could think of?" he teased her and she looked back at him.

"Ok, let's just drop this"

"You brought it up" he shot back

"Yes, and now I'm ending it" she said, gave him a look before she turned her head and looked out the window instead. Gibbs laughed.

"What?" she said, not looking at him.

"Nothing. I love you, Jen" he responded and she turned her head back to him at that.

"I love you too"

They arrived at the hospital ten minutes later. Jen and Gibbs walked in through the doors hand in hand. They said hello to the nurses and walked through the hallway to Amy's room.

"Hi sweetie" Jen greeted her daughter as they entered the room. Amy looked up at them and smiled.

"Hi mommy and daddy" she said. Jen and Gibbs took of their coats and hung them up before they went over to her. Jen bent down to hug her daughter.

"How are you doing today?" she asked in a soft voice. Gibbs watched her as she stoke Amy's red hair, thinking she was a great mom who really cared for her daughter.

"I'm fine" the little girl answered and Jen smiled.

"That's good. I'm sorry I didn't visit you yesterday; I was kinda busy at work. But your dad and I will be here all day today, and tomorrow too" Jen said and Amy looked at Gibbs, who was standing behind Jen.

"I brought the book you wanted" she continued

"Can you read it to me, mommy?"

"Of course I can" Jen said and sat down on a chair and started reading, while had walked around the bed and sat down on the other side, listening as Jen read to their daughter. It wasn't very a thick book, so she finished reading it pretty soon. Amy had been listening patiently all the time.

Jen looked up at Gibbs "I'm going for coffee, you want some?" she asked him

"Sure" was his answer

"Sweetheart, why don't you show your dad your dolls?" Jen said, turning back to her daughter.

"Ok mommy"

"I'll be back in a moment" she said before she walked past Gibbs and out of the room. Gibbs smiled a little to himself, now he understood why Jen had decided to leave the room.

"Do you want to see my dolls, daddy?" Amy asked Gibbs.

"Of course I do" he replied and gave her a smile, and she smiled back as she picked up her dolls.

Jen was walking slowly down the hallway; she was going to give the two of them some time alone together. She was glad Gibbs had decided to accept this, and that he had forgiven him for not telling she was pregnant. She was glad he suggested he'd move in with them, that because she knew he'd never move out, unless they broke up. She didn't care about marriage, that wouldn't be important to her, though she would gladly say yes if he proposed, but she wouldn't get upset if he didn't, she knew he loved her. She bought two coffees, probably not the best coffee in the world but it would just have to do, she had just been looking for an excuse to leave the room, and what sounded better than 'I'm going for coffee'? She wanted to give the two of then some time alone, allowing Amy to get to know her father, and Jen knew it would be easier if she wasn't there.

On her way back to the room she decided to take a little longer way, giving them a little more alone time. But at last she turned into the hallway, approaching Amy's room. Jen stopped in the doorway, the dolls were thrown onto the little table next to Amy's bed, and she and Gibbs both laughed. Jen watched them silently from where she was standing. She listened to them talking, Amy was telling him about when they had been to Disney land, she had obviously just told him about when Jen had fallen into a pond and someone dressed as Mickey Mouse had to help her up. Annoying kid.

Jen stood and just listened to them talking for nearly ten minutes, until she realized the coffee was getting cold. She cleared her throat. Amy looked up and saw her mother.

"Hey mommy, we're having so much fun!" she said happily, she had a big smile on her face.

"I can see that, I'm glad you two are getting along so well" Jen said as she stepped into the room and walked over to Gibbs and handed him his coffee.

"Here you go, honey" she realized too late what she had called him, and she felt a slight blush rise to her cheeks, but Gibbs just looked at her and took the coffee she offered.

"Thank you, my dear" now he could help but to smile. Jen playfully hit Gibbs on his arm.

Jen stood behind Gibbs, her hands resting on his shoulders and watched as he and Amy started to play with the dolls. She had always admired Gibbs' way with children, he was gentle and funny around them, and she envied his patience he had with them.

After a while, Amy invited Jen to play with them, and she could hardly say no. This was one of the best days in Jen's life, for the first time she had a real family, not just a daughter, but now she had a man by her side, and Amy had a father.

It was now getting rather late, and Jen suggested that it was time for her and Gibbs to go home, it was at least past six, and Jen had a feeling Gibbs was pretty hungry by now.

"We'll come back tomorrow" he promised his daughter, he found it to be incredibly hard to leave her, he had had such a wonderful day.

"Good bye, sweetheart" Jen said lovingly as she hugged her and left a kiss on Amy's cheek. "Will you be ok tonight?"

"Yes mommy, Sarah will be here with me" Amy told her mother and the nurse named Sarah smiled and said to Jen that Amy would be fine with her.

"We'll see you tomorrow" Jen said before she and Gibbs walked out from the room.

"Is it always this hard to leave her?" he asked as they walked through the hallway.

"Oh yes" Jen looked at him "You instantly fell for her charm, didn't you?"

"Something like that" he admitted with a little laugh. He looked down at Jen and wrapped his arm around her shoulders as they walked. "She's a great kid"

"Of course she is, she's been raised by me" Jen joked and Gibbs kissed her hair

"So you're saying you're a great woman, since you raised a great kid?"

"You could say so" she said and they both laughed as they reached her car.

"You wanna drive?" he asked

"No, and you won't have to ask me that again. Sorry for everything this morning" she apologized as they got into the car.

"Nothing to apologize for, Jen. So, where do we go now?" he said as he started the car.

"How about we get some take-out and go home?" Jen suggested and put her hand on his thigh, looking into his face.

"Sounds wonderful" he replied with a smile and kissed her quickly before he started to drive.

They bought some Chinese food and then headed home; they had a nice little conversation on the way back.

Well back in Jen's house, they put all the food on the living room table; Jen went into the kitchen to get them some beer along with the food.

"I'm really glad you told me about Amy" Gibbs confessed as they sat side-by-side and ate.

"Me too" she answered and smiled at him.

"Otherwise we wouldn't be sitting here, I would never have told you how I truly felt for you" he continued and Jen put down her fork and rested her head against his shoulder and stroke his back.

"Are you still hungry?" she asked, as she smiled softly.

"No, not so much. Why? What do you have in mind?" he asked and looked at her.

Jen started to turn him towards herself, her arms wrapped around his waist. She had her face only inches from his.

"I was thinking…maybe you'd like to prove to me how much you love me…" she said, her voice low and sexy.

"You know, that would be a prefect ending of a wonderful day" he answered before he leaned in and kissed her deeply. She giggled when he pulled away. He saw a spark glittering in her eyes as he thought about how beautiful she was. She rose from the couch and pulled him with her.

"Come on Jethro!" she laughed and started to dance around with him.

"I thought we were heading towards the bedroom" he said, slightly confused.

"In due time" was her answer.

"I'm not really a dancing kind of guy"

"Ok, what kind of guy are you?"

He didn't answer, he just stopped the dancing, looked her deep into the eyes before he took a few steps towards her, forcing her to back. He kept walking until she hit the wall, then he leaned closer to her and whispered in her ear "This kind of guy" Before she could answer he pinned her to the wall and kissed her passionately, his hands sliding down her body, over her waist and down to her hips. Jen clung onto him; she threw her head against the wall as he broke the kiss and moved his lips to her throat, she moaned. Her own hands moved over his back, pressing him against her.

"This is better than dancing isn't it?" he asked breathlessly as he pulled away and looked into her eyes.

"Much, but it will be better in the bedroom" she suggested, but he once again had her pinned to the wall, leaving kisses on every part of her body he could reach.

"Jethro, come on, you're killing me" she said and started to drag him into the bedroom, and she didn't need to tell him twice, he was right behind her, his arms still around her waist, but it wasn't until they collapsed onto the bed she allowed herself to get completely lost in his touch.

"I love you so much" she said breathlessly and he smiled, knowing he loved her too.

"Me too, Jen. I love you more than you can imagine"


	12. Fighting

_Later_

Gibbs lay in bed, he was lying on his back and Jen was curled up against him. He didn't move, didn't dare to, she was probably sleeping, he thought. His arm was stuck underneath her body and she had her arm resting on his chest. He felt her skin was warm and sweaty and he smiled.

Jen wasn't sleeping, though she was sure Gibbs was. She lay in his arms; she was both sweaty and still warm from the night's activity. She felt really comfortable, everything was just perfect, and she wished time could just stop and that they would lie there forever, lie so close. She started to trail tiny circles with her fingertips on his chest, carefully, with soft movements so she wouldn't wake him up.

"Jen?" she heard him whisper. She slowly lifted her head to look at him.

"I thought you were sleeping" she said with her head slightly risen.

"I thought you were" he said back and that made her laugh. He loved it when she laughed, she was just so adorable. Her laughter ceased and she put down her head again, not on the pillow, but on his chest, right above his heart so she could hear it beating. He gently stroked her hair and wrapped his arms tightly around her, holding her against him.

"You're a strange man" she suddenly said, out of nowhere.

"You've said that to me before. Why?" he questioned

"Because you are" she just said

"No, tell me why I'm a strange man, Jen" he didn't sound angry, not at all, in fact, he sounded amused.

"You're a bastard" she said "That's probably why your marriages never lasted. But look at you now, right now when you here with me. You are just so sweet and loving and caring. I almost can't believe it's the same person. You have two different sides"

He was silent for a few seconds after Jen had spoken, figuring out something to say.

"You may have a point" he finally confessed "People I care about tend to bring out that side in me. You're one of them. And so was Shannon" Jen looked up at him as he said that, he just looked back at her, his eyes showed no sadness, no regret. Jen but her head back on his chest.

"She was something special, wasn't she?" she said, struggling to keep her voice steady.

"Yes, she was" Gibbs admitted, he was just being honest with her, he hoped she wouldn't take it the wrong way, he hoped she wouldn't feel hurt. Jen didn't speak. After five minutes Gibbs started to wonder if she had fallen asleep.

"Jen? Honey?" he whispered, not wanting to wake her if she happened to be asleep.

"Yes?" he heard her answer, so she wasn't asleep after all, she had just been unusually quiet.

"You ok?" he didn't want her to be jealous of Shannon, she belonged in the past, his past, and she had nothing to do with Jen.

"Yeah…I'm fine, don't worry about me" she said, she didn't want to tell him what she had just been thinking, it would just mess up things between them. She had realized if Shannon hadn't died, Gibbs probably wouldn't have started working for NCIS, and she would never have met him, and even if he would have become an NCIS special agent and if they had met, they would never have gotten romantically involved with each other. But thanks to Shannon's death, they did have a relationship, and that had eventually led to pregnancy, and that had led to the relationship they were in today. But she was afraid that if she told him that, he would think she was actually happy she had died, but Jen couldn't be sadder for his loss. She imagined how awful it must be to lose a wife and a daughter, she imagined just how she would feel if Gibbs and Amy would be taken from her.

"Jen?" his voice brought her back to reality; she realized she had been zooming out for a moment while she had been thinking.

"Jethro" she answered, trying to let go of her thoughts. She realized she would stop thinking about the past; she was here with him now, in bed, and she couldn't be happier.

"Are you sure you're ok?" he asked, slightly worried.

She lifted her head and looked at him. "I'm fine, Jethro, seriously"

He nodded, convinced she was really ok, so he pulled her down towards him and kissed her deeply, she responded by kissing him back.

She pulled away, breathless "I'm kinda tired, how about we go to sleep?"

"That sound's good" he admitted. Jen moved back to her previous position, her head resting over his heart and her arm holding him around his waist. Gibbs had his arms in a firm grip around her body, holding her close against him.

"Good night babe" he said and Jen smiled, loving it that he called her that, just like he had done in Paris.

"Good night" she replied, and not long after that, both of them had fallen asleep, exhausted from when they had made love.

The next day, Sunday, was almost exactly like Saturday. Jen and Gibbs woke up together, had breakfast together, they kissed and laughed together. They went to the hospital and talked and played with Amy for many hours, being like a real family. They left the hospital and had dinner together before they made love in the evening, just like the previous night, and they fell asleep wrapped around each other. Another perfect day.

_Tuesday_

Tony was sitting at his desk, trying to concentrate on work, but something was bothering him. First of all, Gibbs wasn't there yet, second of all, he kept thinking about what had happened yesterday. On Monday morning Gibbs had come in with Jen, not unusual, they had probably met in the parking lot or the elevator, but they were laughing instead of arguing. Gibbs had been in an unusually good mood that day, and later Tony had seen the two of them standing together at the railing on the upper floor, again laughing and appeared to really enjoy each others company.

Now Tony couldn't stand to sit in the silence, he walked over to McGee, needing to discuss the issue.

"Hey, probie! Did you see Gibbs with the Director yesterday?" he asked as he sat down on McGee's desk.

"What do you mean?" McGee said, not having noticed anything in particular.

"Come on, you know, they seemed unusually cosy and stuff" he explained and waved impatiently with his hands. McGee raised his eyebrows, considering what he had said for a while.

"Now that you mention it, they didn't have a single fight yesterday. He didn't even look annoyed when he came out from her office" he said and Tony nodded.

"See? Maybe something's going on between them…Since when do they last a day without fighting?" Tony said "Well, we'll see how long it lasts, probably not for long…"

Tony got interrupted by raised voices coming from the open doors of the elevator, he looked up and saw Jen and Gibbs coming out, and they appeared to be in the middle of a huge fight.

"No Jethro! I'm the Director of this agency and I can get into any investigation that I want to. We've had this conversation before" Jen said furiously as they walked passed Tony and McGee, who both stared at them. Gibbs was following her.

"We may have. But there are plenty of other investigations you could work on if you want to play agent" he answered, just as angry.

"You don't talk to me like that!" Tony and McGee heard her shout as they walked up the stairs to her office.

Tony looked at his buddy "Now everything's back to normal" he stated and returned to his desk, now able to work on the case at hand.

Jen and Gibbs walked past Cynthia, still shouting at each other. Jen slammed to door hard after her.

"Did you really have to slam the door like that?" Gibbs asked, much calmer.

"I always slam the door when we fight. It had to look real" Jen explained with a smile "You think they bought it?"

"Sure looked like DiNozzo did" Gibbs said with a laugh.

"I'm sure he got suspicious when we didn't fight yesterday. It was a good idea to have a fake fight to fool him"

"Of course it was a good idea, it was mine" he said as he walked over to her where she was standing in front of the windows. Jen looked up at him when he wrapped his arms around her waist. He leaned in a kissed her. The kiss didn't last long, but for Jen it felt like it went on for an eternity. She placed her hands on his chest.

"Jethro, I have to work, but you can stay if you want, for a while. You know, since we're supposed to be in a fight"

"Nah, I could just burst out of here and look angry for the rest of the day" he suggested and she nodded.

"That's up to you. But it's probably best if you continue to work on your case"

Gibbs nodded and kissed her once again before he walked to the door.

"Should we meet at your place after work?" he asked

"Yes, if you want to" Jen looked up at him from her desk.

"Why wouldn't I want? You said it was ok that I lived there for a while"

"Then why do you ask if we should meet there? And why don't you say our place?" she questioned and he looked a bit annoyed.

"I was only wondering if we were going to meet here in your office first and go home together or if we should meet at '_our' _place in case we go home different times" now he even sounded annoyed.

"Wow, you don't have to get so upset" Jen was slightly shocked by his behaviour, and he didn't seem to calm down. Jen tried to calm him down, nevertheless. "Maybe you could pick up some clothes and stuff from your place, you haven't done that yet"

Gibbs raised his eyebrows "And what if I'd like to go to my place tonight? What if I want to work on my boat?"

"Then I can't stop you, so maybe we'll see each other tomorrow" she said, starting to get angry herself. She was angry because she had no idea why he acted this way.

"Fine, I guess we will. Maybe we're not ready to live together" and with those word, said in an angry tone of voice, he left her office and slammed the door after him.

Jen sighed and put her head in her hands. What had started as a fake fight had actually led to a real fight, the only thing was that she wasn't sure what they were fighting about. But what she did know was that she was going spend the night alone. Maybe she could go to the hospital and spend the night with Amy. Yes, that sounded good, it had been a while since she had been with Amy over night.


	13. Broken Hearts

_Thank you all who are reading my fic! It is so nice to know that there are people out there who appreciate my work, so thanks again!!_

Jen left the office early, intentionally. She wanted out of there before Gibbs. On her way out she walked past Gibbs team, they appeared to still be working on the case. Her gaze met Gibbs', and neither of them looked very happy. He was the one who looked away first, but Jen couldn't forget the look he had given her, she had seen confusion in his eyes.

As she got into the elevator she wondered what was going to happen between them, she didn't want to lose him, she didn't like it when he looked at her the way he just had. She wondered what she had said that had made him so upset, maybe he wasn't sure if she took their relationship seriously, but how could he possibly believe that? After everything she had told him in the last couple of days, all the times she had told him how deeply she loved him, how could he believe she wasn't serious?

She unlocked her car and got in; she threw her purse onto the passenger seat next to her. For a second she considered calling him, she picked up her phone, her fingers trembled over the buttons, but she didn't dial his number, she just stared at the screen. What should she tell him? Should she apologise? For what? She wasn't the one who had freaked out, if anyone should call, it was him. She put down the phone, she decided she'd wait for him to call; he would eventually, when he had calmed down. She knew he would never leave her without a good explanation. She hoped he wouldn't leave her at all.

She drove off, heading home to pack some things she'd bring to the hospital. When Jen came home, the first thing she saw was the NCIS sweat shirt Gibbs had been wearing last Saturday. She picked it up and smelled it; she loved that smell, the smell Gibbs always left behind. She hugged it tightly as she walked into the bedroom. She took off her suit jacket and pulled on the NCIS shirt over her tank top, she kept her black pants on. She wiped away a tear with her sleeve, she missed him already, she didn't know what she would do if they broke up.

Jen packed some clothes for tomorrow and a book to read after Amy had fallen asleep. She wasn't home for long; she checked her answering machine before she left; nothing. Jen took her cell phone from her purse, just as she did so it beeped and turned itself off, battery just died. Jen cursed, she wanted Gibbs to call her, but now she figured they would have to talk tomorrow, straighten everything out. She shut the door, locked it and walked to her car.

Inside her house, the phone had started to ring. A message was left on the answering machine.

"_Jen, it's me. I would like you to call me as soon as you get this" _Gibbs voice said _"Please"_ he added before he hung up.

While Jen drove she forced herself to concentrate on getting straight to the hospital. Several time she wanted to take a turn and go home to Gibbs. But she didn't want to be the one who came crawling on her knees, begging him to take her back, she wanted him to come to her, maybe not crawling, but to explain why he had acted the way he had.

After what had felt like an eternity, Jen finally reached the hospital. One time she had actually turned and had almost been at Gibbs' house when she had changed her mind and turned to head towards the hospital. Jen stayed in the car for a few minutes to calm herself down before she would go into the hospital. _'We will talk tomorrow and we will get along again. This isn't over' _she thought as she opened the door to get out. She grabbed her bag and walked into the hospital.

"Ms Shepard, how are you today?" the nurse named Sarah asked as Jen was walking through the hallway to Amy's room. Jen stopped.

"I'm fine" she answered and continued to walk, ignoring Sarah's voice calling her name.

She walked into Amy's room and the little girl looked happy to see her. _'Glad someone wants to see me' _she thought and forced a smile at her daughter.

"Hi sweetheart" she said in a soft voice as she bent down and kissed her forehead. "How are you today?"

"I'm fine. I've missed you mommy" Amy said as she wrapped her arms around Jen's neck.

"Aw, I've missed you too. I thought I'd spend the night here" Jen said into her ear, and when Amy let go of her, she was smiling.

"Good" she said and now Jen smiled for real.

"I'm just gonna go and grab some coffee, I'll be back in a minute" Jen said and walked out, leaving her bag on the floor.

Jen stood over at the coffee machine, at last she took the cup of steaming hot coffee and turned to head back to her daughter. She had only taken a few steps until she walked into someone, without looking at the person she mumbled "Sorry"

"It's ok" a familiar voice answered and Jen quickly looked up and met Gibbs' gaze.

"Jethro, what are you doing here?" she said, shocked. He was wearing his coat, so she figured he had just arrived.

"I thought I'd visit Amy" he said "And I knew you were going to be here, I wanted to talk to you" he added.

Jen didn't say anything; she just waited for an explanation. Gibbs understood her silence.

"I tried to call you, but you had your cell turned off" he said

"My battery died" she said in a low voice, as if it was her fault.

"And you weren't at home, just got straight to voice mail"

"Jethro, I need you to explain what happened today. Why did you get so mad?" she asked, looking up at him. He noticed her eyes were slightly red; she appeared to have been crying. He felt guilty for everything he must have put her through.

"Jen…I'm sorry for what I said and did, I didn't mean it"

"That's not what I asked. I need to know why" Jen said

"I don't know why I got mad; I had no reason to get mad, I'm so sorry. I guess, maybe we're moving a little too fast, you know. I mean, we already live together, maybe it's too soon" he tried to explain. Now that he said it, it kind of made sense, just that Jen didn't want it to be too soon. But after all, it wasn't good to push it either.

"I forgive you" she told him "So you wanna move back to your place?" she tried to keep her voice steady, she turned her gaze down, she wanted to do what was best for their relationship, even though it would be hard without having him close. Gibbs placed him hand under her chin and lifted her head so she was looking into his eyes again.

"I don't want to, but maybe it's for the best" he said, he got surprised when Jen shook her head.

"No, I don't want you to. Nothing can make me wanna leave you, Jethro. Not after the days and nights we've just had together. It felt so right, you and me under the same roof. We may have our differences, but don't every couple? We have known each other for so long, that this isn't rushing. I know you're just being careful; you want to know for sure that we can make it before we get too serious. But I am serious, Jethro. I am seriously in love with you. Move in with me, honey"

Gibbs looked at her, he showed no emotions. Jen waited anxiously for him to say something.

"You're right" he said "I was just being careful, because I don't want to lose you, Jen"

He leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. "I love you"

_Kinda short chapter, but I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading and please leave me a review!!!!! Thanks _


	14. Losing A Family

Jen's lips felt soft and warm, Gibbs didn't want to break the kiss, but he did. He saw Jen still had her eyes closed, but he didn't kiss her again, he just stroke her cheek with his thumb, and her eyelids flicked open.

"You will never lose me again" she promised him and held out her coffee for him. "Here, have a drink"

He took the coffee from her hand and drank from it.

"Maybe we should slow down a bit. You know, in our relationship. The last couple of days have been rather…intense. I mean, we don't have to make love every night…"

Gibbs smiled, but what she said made sense.

"Yeah, that didn't work out so well in Europe" he said

"Oh come on! We didn't do it _that _much…" she tried, but the memories made her smile. Gibbs didn't answer, it wasn't necessary.

"We should get back to Amy, I told her I wouldn't be long" Jen said, changing the subject.

"Oh course, can't keep her waiting" he agreed, he took her hand and they walked together towards her room. Gibbs handed her the coffee cup.

"Thank you"

When they entered the room Amy looked very happy to see her father.

"Daddy! I'm glad you're here" she said and smiled. Jen could help but to laugh at her daughter.

"It's good that you like him Amy. He is going to stay with us now" she said and stroke her hair. Amy just kept smiling and nodded as she watched Gibbs take off his coat. He walked up behind Jen and put one hand on her waist and he took Amy's hand with his other.

"Are you two getting married?" the little girl asked

"We don't know, maybe sometime in the future" Jen answer, but secretly, Gibbs didn't agree. He knew he wanted to marry Jen, and he didn't feel like waiting. In his job he could die any day. He knew he refused to die without being marrying her first. He didn't say anything, just nodded at Amy and pretended to agree with Jen.

"Ok. I miss being home" she said, sounding a little sad.

"I know honey. I miss having you at home; it has been very lonely without you. But haven't the doctors told you you'll be coming home next week?" Jen asked, frowning

"They did, but I want to go home now!" she pouted and Jen bent forward and hugged her.

"I know, but just a few days more, baby" she said, trying to comfort Amy "Are you tired?"

Amy nodded and Jen turned to Gibbs "I told her I'd stay here tonight" she began but, Gibbs interrupted her.

"Yeah I saw the bag"

"Are you staying or are you going home?" she asked

"I thought I'd go home" he said, and then he looked at Amy to see if she would mind if he left, she didn't seem to object, she just nodded at him.

"Ok, Jethro. I will see you at work tomorrow. I love you" Jen said before she leaned in and kissed him.

"I love you" he answered before walked around the bed to say good bye to Amy. He bent down and hugged her.

"Bye sweetheart" he said and headed towards the door. In the door way, Amy's words made him stop.

"I love you daddy"

He looked at her, smiled and said "I love you too"

He walked out, slightly shocked. I had been a long time since he had a little girl telling him she loved him. He remembered when Kelly had told him that she loved him, how happy and proud he had felt to hear her say that. Ever since Shannon and Kelly's death he had promised himself to never get a family again, it wasn't that he didn't like kids, he did, but he was so afraid that he might lose them. He had had wives, several of them, but the pain that came with losing a wife _and _a daughter…unbearable.

But he was starting to change his mind, he had realized he needed a family, needed someone who truly loved him, none of his ex-wives had been so deeply in love with him like Jen was. He remembered how amazing it was to have a family, especially after the weekend he had had, when he had spent the days with Jen and Amy, and the nights with Jen. He had realized he had made love to her like he never had to the three ex-wives of his.

Jen was reading to Amy before she would go to sleep. She made a big yawn, and Jen decided it was time for her little girl to go to sleep. So she put down the book on the table next to the bed, but when Amy saw that, she started to protest.

"No, mommy. Read more, I'm not tired" she said, but Jen just smiled and didn't pick up the book again.

"You have to sleep now, honey" she said softly, knowing Amy wouldn't start to argue, she was too tired for that.

"Come" Amy said and held out her arms. Jen knew too well what Amy wanted; they had done this every night.

"Of course" she answered and moved herself so she leaned on the bed, her head resting on Amy's pillow, but she still sat on the chair. Then she took Amy into her arms and kissed her forehead.

"Is this ok?" Jen asked and Amy nodded, she lay safely in her mother's arms now, it couldn't be better.

Jen lay there with Amy until she fell asleep. When Jen heard her breathing getting heavier, her body relaxing, she slowly pulled away. She fixed Amy's cover and stroked the hair out of her face. Jen wasn't very tired, at least not enough to sleep, so for a while she just sat and watched her daughter sleep. She now missed Gibbs, she wanted him to sit there beside her and watch their daughter sleep. But some time apart was probably good right now.

Next morning Jen came in an hour later than usual, of course Gibbs had already been up to her office since he assumed she would be on time as always. He was now on his way down the stairs after his third visit to her empty office, when he saw her escaping from the elevator. He turned and walked back up to the railing where he decided he'd wait for her. He watched her on her way to the stairs, but she suddenly turned and ended up at Tony's desk, she asked something, _'Probably where I am'_, he thought and Tony must have answered he was in her office, because the next second she looked up the stairs, and her eyes caught him where he stood.

She thanked Tony and hurried up the stairs

"Good morning" Gibbs greeted her when she was almost there.

"Good morning to you too" she said back and smiled "Tony told me you have gone up to my office three times this morning, may I ask why, special agent Gibbs? She continued in a very director-ish tone of voice. Gibbs just smiled at her.

Down in the squad room, Abby had come out of the elevator, she quickly hurried over to McGee, who along with Tony, spied on Gibbs and the Director.

"McGee" she said, and he turned to her.

"Hey Abby" he said, sounding both surprised and happy to see her. Abby, on the other hand, didn't pay much attention to him. She looked around.

"Where's Gibbs?" she asked, waving nervously with her hands as she spoke. McGee frowned a little at her behaviour.

"He's right up there, talking to the Director" he answered and Abby quickly turned her head towards where McGee pointed. She saw the two of them standing there together, they laughed and both looked genuinely happy in each others company.

Abby had come up there to tell Gibbs she knew their secret, she knew they were a couple, but now when she saw them together…she couldn't just go up there and drag Gibbs away from Jen just to tell him that. And she wanted to tell Gibbs alone, she felt safe around him, not that she didn't like Jen, she did, just not as much as she liked him. But she would tell him, another time, another day.


	15. Secrets

Two weeks later.

Abby still hadn't talked to Gibbs about the relationship between him and the Director. Always when she intended of telling him, she found him with Jen, or she would simply freak out, which was very un-Abby.

Now she was in her lab, going through the evidence Gibbs had sent down to her. In the background was the sound of Android Lust.

"Come on Abby, just say it to him, damn it" she said to herself

"Say what?"

Abby quickly turned around and saw Gibbs entering, carrying a Caf-Pow.

"Hey Gibbs, don't have any results yet" she said, changing the subject. He put the Caf-Pow in front of her.

"That's fine. Who are you gonna tell what?" he questioned. Abby's eyes widened in shock, she hadn't realized he'd heard her, and she couldn't lie to him. She'd better tell him what she knew, now or never, Abby Sciuto!

Abby moved so she faced him. He was kinda surprised at what she did; it appeared it was him she wanted to talk to.

"Gibbs, there something I need to tell you. I don't want you to get upset or anything, I mean, I'm all for the idea. You see I saw…" she began, but interrupted herself and looked at something over Gibbs shoulder

"Yes, Abs?" he tried, still waiting for her to talk, unaware of the person walking up behind him.

"Director" Abby greeted Jen as she walked up to them. Gibbs turned around and saw her standing a few feet behind him.

"Jen, what are you doing here?" he asked, surprised to see her. He got even more surprised by his incredible lust to kiss her, but he knew he couldn't, not in front of Abby.

"I'm looking for you, Jethro. Do you have a moment?" she looked from him to Abby and back to him, her eyes asking the same question.

"Sure, Abby just wanted to tell me something" he said and turned back to the forensics scientist, who, if possible, had gone even paler than she usually was.

"It can wait. The Director needs you, we can talk some other time" Abby assured him, he gave her a look, but she said "Really Gibbs, it can wait. Now go, shoo. I'll call you when I have something" she ordered them out of her lab, and they obeyed.

They entered the elevator and Gibbs turned to her.

"What did you want to talk about?" he asked, he didn't sound angry that she had interrupted him with Abby, he sounded mostly tired.

"We take that in my office" she answered; he looked into her eyes, but couldn't tell what it was she needed to talk to him about. But she looked happy, and she gave him a smile, that he returned, though a confused smile.

"Don't look so worried, Jethro" she could see a tint of confusion in his eyes as well.

With a little ding the doors opened and she took him by the arm and dragged him into her office. She shut the door behind her and then she stood leaning against his desk, Gibbs stood a few feet away from her.

"What is this about, Jen? I have a killer to find…" he started, but she cut him off.

"I know, and I have lots of work to finish" she said "But I thought you might wanna know we can take Amy home today"

Gibbs head shot up and he looked at her, she was wearing a huge smile on her face. The truth was that Amy should have gotten home last week, but in the last minute, the doctors had decided to keep her there for another week. Amy had been devastated when she had gotten the news, and so had Jen. Gibbs walked closer to Jen, an equally big smile played on his lips.

"Honey that's great!" he said and he sounded really excited. Jen shivered pleasantly, she loved it when he called her honey, and it was so rare to hear him say that.

"I know, and I was hoping neither of us will work late, it would be nice if we could pick her up together.

"I think we'll work it out" he assured her and he leaned in and kissed her passionately, his body pressing hers against the desk. Her hands were wrapped tightly around his waist so she wouldn't fall down over her desk and knock down the computer.

"Jethro…" she breathed when she pulled away from the kiss "Not here"

Gibbs looked down at her as he held her safely in his arms, he slowly pulled her up so she was standing straight, but he didn't let go of her. During these two weeks he and Jen had spent a lot of time at the hospital with Amy, and he had really started to get to know his daughter. And these weeks he had also lived with Jen and it had worked fine, no bigger fights this far, just a few minor arguments.

"You know" he started thoughtfully and she met his gaze, curious to whatever he might say.

"I've been thinking about this for a little while now, and I want to take you out to dinner tomorrow night, just you and me" he said, and she raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"Any specific reason?" she asked curiously. He gave her a quick kiss before answering.

"Maybe" he just said and let go of her. He left her standing and walked to the door, but before he opened it, he turned to her.

"I'll make the reservations" he said "I'll meet you later and we'll go get Amy" he continued and she nodded before he closed the door behind him.

Jen sighed, though still smiling, as she walked and sat down at her desk. He could be really annoying at times. She was curious to know what it was that he had planned, and she needed to get someone to baby-sit for Amy. She put on her glasses and got back to her papers, she needed to hurry if she would finish this by the time he would be ready to leave and pick up Amy.

Gibbs hurried down the stairs, just like Jen he was determined to finish work as soon as possible. He thought briefly about the interesting and fortunate turn his life had taken, before he got down to the squad room and decided to fasten things up. He smacked DiNozzo on the back of his head as he walked past him.

"Come on; snap it up if you wanna get out of here before midnight, I know I do" he reached his desk and sat down, turning his attention to McGee.

"What do you got, McGee?" he asked and McGee glanced at Tony who looked just as surprised as he did at Gibbs sudden determination to finish early.

"Ehrm…"

Jen took off her glasses and put them down onto her desk, she carefully rubbed her eyes, she was tired, she had been working intensely with paperwork these last three hours, and now she was finally finished. She wondered how Gibbs was doing, the time was already 19.00, and they had to pick up Amy soon. She decided to go check up on them.

She walked over to her door, opened it and jumped slightly at the sight of Gibbs standing just outside the door.

"Jethro, you scared me!" she breathed and put a hand to her chest. He just smiled at her and waved for her to go back inside her office. Well inside, Jen noticed he was wearing his coat and looked ready to leave.

"You finished work?" she asked

"Yeah, here's my report" he said and handed her the file. She accepted it and then threw it down onto her desk.

"That can wait until tomorrow" she told him and turned back to him. He was still smiling as she slowly approached him, until she stood very close to him, she looked into his eyes.

"Let's go get our daughter" she said and he nodded in agreement. But before she could step away from him and get her coat, he slid his arm around her waist, pulled her even closer to himself and pressed his lips gently against hers. She was the one to pull away, but she kept her face only inches from his, but when she saw he was about to kiss her again, she quickly put he finger against his lips.

"I'm gonna go get my coat" she said and walked to the coat hanger and put on her light brown coat and the emerald green scarf "Shall we go?" she asked when she was ready. Without a word he walked to the door and held it open for her to walk through.

She thanked him and they walked out together, on the way she said good bye to Cynthia.

"Come on Jethro, why are we going out tomorrow night?" Jen suddenly asked when they were inside the elevator. Gibbs laughed at her.

"Patience, Jen. You'll see tomorrow, I won't ruin it" he said and there was a certain spark in his eyes that made her even more curious to what he was hiding from her.

Abby was waiting for the elevator, while waiting she thought about what would be the best way to break this to Gibbs, at first she needed to find him alone, without any of his team member, or without Jen, which had appeared to very tricky these days. She thought they were very cute together, and she liked to see the happiness with which Gibbs looked at her. But she would tell him, maybe tomorrow, if she could find him alone. Abby looked up as the doors opened, and was surprised to see Gibbs and Jen inside the elevator. She forced a smile and stepped in to join them.

"Heading home, Abs?" Gibbs asked her and she nodded

"Yep, you?" she tried to sound casual, but didn't know if she succeeded or not.

"Yeah, got a boat to build, you know" he said, though he wasn't comfortable lying to Abby, he wished he could tell her he and Jen were in a relationship, but he wanted to talk to Jen about that first before he did anything, but he trusted Abby and knew she wouldn't tell anybody else if he told her not to.

Jen stayed quiet, just gave Abby a smile. She understood Gibbs wanted to tell both Abby and Ducky about their relationship, they had been together for weeks now, and it appeared that it was a serious relationship, but she wanted to wait, he respected that and for that she was grateful.

The doors opened and the three of them stepped out. For a few seconds they just stood there in silence, and Jen was the one to break it.

"Well, we'll see each other tomorrow. Bye Jethro, Abby" she said and before she left for her car, she gave Gibbs a look that told him they would meet up at the hospital, and he nodded in answer.

"Good night Director" he said and Abby also bade her good night. Jen left and Gibbs and Abby were alone. Maybe she could say it now…

"Hey Gibbs, can I talk to you?" she asked before she knew it. Gibbs looked a little disturbed.

"Ok, as long as you make it quick…" he started, but Abby interrupted him.

"I know about you and Jenny" it just slipped out of her, she hadn't meant for it to come out like that, she wished to have told him a little calmed and not so much head on. Gibbs just stared at her for a moment, not really comprehending.

"You know what about us?" why was he playing stupid? He understood perfectly well what she knew.

"You and Jenny are a couple" she breathed, calming herself down.

"How do you know that?" he asked, keeping his voice down, he knew Jen didn't want this to spread.

"I have seen you together a couple of times, and I even caught you guys kissing in the parking lot" she admitted "You don't mind that I know, do you? I have been keeping this to myself all the time, and I won't tell a soul, I swear" she promised

"Abs, I never wanted to lie to you, but Jen made not tell anybody, since she could lose her job if this came out" he stopped when he saw her assuring smile.

"Gibbs, you know you can trust me. I will tell no one, ever" she assured him and he smiled back at her.

"I know I can trust you Abs"

"You really love her, don't you?" she said and her smile got even wider.

"Abby…" he said, his voice held a warning not to go there, Gibbs wasn't exactly known for admitting his feelings.

"Come on Gibbs! I'm curious!" she squealed excitedly.

"Ok, I love her. Abs, I really have to go now" he said annoyed and took a few steps away, but immediately stopped as she spoke again.

"Wow, that was really sweet and un-Gibbs of you" she teased.

"Abby!"

"Relax, I was just kidding. But I think it's great that you two found each other, you look really cute together" she said, but Gibbs turned away, said good night as he started to walk towards his car. Abby stood still for a while, what she didn't understand was why she had been so afraid to speak in front of Jen; she wasn't stupid, she would have understood Abby wouldn't tell the entire agency that they were dating.

When Gibbs reached his car, his cell started to ring. It was Jen.

"Yeah, Gibbs?" he answer, like he always did.

"Jethro, where are you?" her soft voice was stained with concern, and he smiled to himself at her caring.

"I'm leaving right now, Abby just needed to talk to me" he paused before he continued "She knows about us, Jen"

"She what?" Jen said in a shock tone of voice.

"Apparently she has seen us together at several occasions, she even caught us kissing" he told her "Are you at the hospital yet?"

"Yes, I'm waiting for you outside the main entrance"

"Ok, I'll be there soon" he said and hung up.

Jen put her cell back into her pocket and sighed. Abby knew. She didn't exactly mind, she knew that at some point they have to tell at least Abby and Ducky, maybe even the others on Gibbs team, but they'd have to wait, at least another few weeks. She sat on a bench outside the doors, waiting for her man to come. After a while she saw a familiar figure coming towards her. She rose to her feet and met him.

"Hey" she said and her eyes immediately wandered to the plastic bag in his hand.

"What's in there?" she asked curiously

"You'll see" was all he said before he brushed a kiss against her lips.

"What's up with all these secrets, all of a sudden?" she asked, but he just answered with another kiss.

"That is not a secret, it's because I love you" he said and kissed her a third time, this time the kiss was deeper and longer, it lasted until Jen decided it was time to pick up Amy.

"Jethro, our daughter's waiting" she reminded him, took his hand and together they walked into the hospital to bring their beloved girl home.

_Reviews are always appreciated. Thanks for reading!_


	16. Family Night

About an hour later, they got home to Jen's apartment. Gibbs helped Amy out of the car while Jen took the bag with her things, and take out that they had bought on their way home.

"Jen, keys" he called and Jen threw her keys to him before she picked up the bags.

"We really should get you your own key" she muttered, apparently loud enough for the other two to hear her, since Gibbs said "Yeah, we should"

He opened the door and Amy rushed in, happy to be home.

"Jethro, some help here, please?" Jen begged. Gibbs looked back at her and saw she was about to drop on of the bags. He hurried towards her and prevented the bags from falling to the ground.

"Thanks honey" she breathed as he took Amy's bag from her hand.

"De nada" he answered and she smiled, and turned her attention towards the door as Amy called for her.

"I'm coming, sweetie" she said back and both she and Gibbs started to walk towards the door.

Well inside, Jen walked into Amy's room to leave her bag, and found her daughter sitting on her bed.

"I've missed my room" she said. Jen smiled and knelt in front of her.

"I know, I have missed having you here" she said and stroked Amy's red hair. "Now go help daddy with the food, and I'll be out the any second"

"Mommy told me to help you with the food" Amy said as she rushed into the kitchen where Gibbs was standing. He smiled down at her and lifted her up on the counter.

"Then you'd better do so" he said as he started to unpack the Chinese take out.

"Mommy doesn't want me sitting on the counter" she said, but Gibbs just ran his hand through her hair "But I want you to"

Just a moment later, Gibbs felt Jen standing right behind him, sliding her arms around his waist.

"Amy, what have I told you about sitting up there?"

"Daddy told me I could!" Amy argued and Jen rested her head on his shoulder.

"I don't see why that would be a problem, Jen" he said in his defence, but Jen just smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

"Of course you did. Come on; let's eat while the food's still hot"

The family made their way into the living room; Amy ran ahead, Gibbs and Jen followed, carrying the food. They set it up on the table, and sat down in the couch. Normally, Jen didn't like them eating in there, only on special nights, like this one.

_Later_

No one had bothered to clean the table, they were all sat in the couch, Jen was leaning against Gibbs, who had his arm around her shoulders, holding her close, and Amy sat on his lap. Gibbs felt really committed to his new family, he loved them dearly.

"Jethro, you still haven't told us what's in those bags" Jen suddenly said, and when he looked down at her, she was smiling.

"Right, I had almost forgotten about them" he answered "You wanna know?"

"Yes" Jen and Amy answered in unison. Gibbs lifted Amy over to Jen's lap, and she wrapped her arms around her daughter as Gibbs rose from the couch to go get them. Jen whispered something in Amy's ear, and when Gibbs returned, they were both giggling.

"What is it with you two?" he asked, but couldn't keep the smile from his lips as he approached them. He sat down on the couch next to them and they watched him curiously as he took up a package, beautiful wrapped in deep purple paper, and handed it to his daughter. Amy's eyes widened as she accepted the gift. Jen looked at Gibbs, both surprised and happy at what he did.

"Look mommy!" Amy squealed happily and showed the package to Jen.

"I can see honey. Why don't you open it and see what your dad got you?" Jen suggested and Amy started to tear off the paper. Inside was a box in the same beautiful purple as the paper. She opened it and revealed some sort of clothing inside. When she took it out of the box, she saw it was a dress. It was a very beautiful dress, though simple. It was red with white dragonfly on it. Amy looked at it with awe.

"Daddy, it's beautiful" she said as Jen reached out to feel the fabric, it was soft. "Thank you"

Amy threw herself into her dad's arms and he held her tightly. "You're welcome"

Jen put the dress on a part of the table that was clean. "Jethro…" she started, but he cut her off by holding up his finger. He didn't speak though; he just sat Amy on his lap as he reached down to the second bag on the floor, and took up another package that he handed to Jen.

"I have something for you, too" he responded to her shocked expression.

"Jethro, I understand that you wanted to get Amy something, but you didn't have to buy me anything…"

"Come on Jen, just open it" he said, not wanting to hear the reasons why he shouldn't have bought her something.

"Yeah mom, open it!" Amy said, excited and curious to see what her dad had got for her mom.

"Fine" Jen gave in; she was smiling and looked rather curious to what it might be.

It was wrapped in a golden paper with a green bow on it. Jen carefully ripped it off and revealed a white box. She glanced at Gibbs before she turned her gaze back to the box. She lifted the lid, and took up whatever was inside. It was a dress, a beautiful, emerald green dress.

"Oh my God" she said, as she held up the dress to look at it.

"I think you look good in green" Gibbs said as he hid a smile at Jen reaction.

"You shouldn't have bought me this"

"Jen, I don't want to hear any of that" he sighed, and looked at her.

"It's beautiful. Thank you, so much" she said and leaned forward and gave him a kiss.

_Next morning_

Jen was in a hurry, she was late for work. Still, there were a few things she had to do before she and Gibbs could leave. Amy wasn't gonna go to school today, so she had to wait for her baby sitter to come, Phoebe. She had watched over Amy lots of times before, so they knew each other, and Phoebe was an old friend of Jen's.

Jen was calling Phoebe's cell, trying to get hold of her while she was applying lipstick in the bathroom. Gibbs peaked into the bathroom and saw Jen looking completely stressed out.

"You ok, Jen?" he asked, but just when she was about to answer, she heard Phoebe's voice in the phone. She held up her finger to Gibbs, silently asking him to hold.

"Phoebe, it's Jenny, where are you?" he heard her saying, he smiled to himself and walked into their bedroom. The green dress hung on the door leading to her walk-in-closet. He was hoping she'd wear it tonight, when they were supposed to go out. Seconds later, Jen rushed in.

"Phoebe got caught in traffic, but she will be here any minute. Should I ask her if she can baby sit for Amy tonight as well, if we're going out?" she said all this very fast, as if she would be losing time saying it slower.

"Yeah, that would be good" he said and walked up to her. "You look stressed, Jen" he observed.

"Thanks" she shot back sarcastically "I'm just…I'm gonna be later for a meeting if she doesn't show up soon" she sighed and Gibbs took her in his arms.

"You can go ahead if you want; I'll stay here with Amy and wait for Phoebe" he suggested, Jen thought about it for a second.

"If that works for you…"

"Yeah, of course, you can't be late for a meeting" he said and gave her a deep kiss before he let go of her.

Just then, the doorbell rang

"Maybe that's her" Jen said and hurried to the door to open it. It was Phoebe.

"Thank God you're here Pheebs" Jen breathed as the woman stepped in.

"Traffic's terrible" she said as she hung up her jacket. "Good to see you again, Jenny" she continued and gave her friend a quick hug.

"Phoebe, this is Jethro" Jen said as Gibbs came out from the bedroom.

"Hi, I'm Phoebe" she smiled and shook Gibbs hand. "He's cute" she whispered into Jen's ear.

"Hand's off" she whispered back. She cleared her throat.

"Amy's in the living room. I was just wondering, do you think you could look after Amy tonight? Jethro and I are going out" she explained and Phoebe nodded.

"Of course. Now you two better get going, bye" Phoebe said and walked into the living room to join Amy watching TV.

"Bye sweetie" Jen called and got a "Bye mom" back from Amy.

"Let's go" she said and practically dragged Gibbs through the front door.

_Next chapter: it's time for the mysterious date to happen…_


	17. A Special Date

_In the evening_

Gibbs sat in the living room couch, watching TV with Amy, while waiting for Jen to get ready. Abby was still the only one who knew about them, and Jen didn't mind her knowing, they had all talked about it earlier today. He was now dressed in a nice suit with a white shirt and a red tie, Amy had told him he looked handsome.

"I wonder what mom will wear" she said thoughtfully

Jen was still in the bedroom, applying lipstick. She checked herself out in the mirror, _'Not bad' _she thought. She grabbed her black purse that matched the shoes and decided it was time to go.

She peeked into the living room and saw Gibbs talking to Phoebe, who would spent the night with Amy. Jen cleared her throat and all three of them looked at her. Gibbs looked completely stunned.

She was wearing the emerald green dress he had given her last night, and it fitted her extremely well. It had a halter neck and went down deep between her breasts; it sat slim around her body, showing off her fine figure. It ended right above her knees and sat tight around her ass and thighs as well. Her hair was in a beautiful and sexy mess, and she wore no necklace.

Gibbs couldn't keep a smile from his lips as he eyed her.

"Mommy, you look awesome!" Amy squealed, amazed by her mothers appearance. Gibbs kissed his daughters hair before he rose from the couch and walked over to Jen. He looked happily surprised at what he saw.

"What do you think?" she asked as soon as he stood right in front of her. His eyes went up and down her body one more time.

"I think that I should do your shopping from now on" he just answered and Jen smiled sweetly.

The couple said good bye to Amy and Phoebe, Gibbs helped Jen put on her black coat and moments later they left for their car. Gibbs was acting like a real gentleman; he even held the car door open for her.

"So, where are we going?" she asked as they sat inside the car, but he just smiled.

"You'll see" he said and turned his gaze upon her "You know, you look awfully sexy in that dress" and before she had a chance to reply, he leaned in and kissed her.

"Thank you" she said when she pulled away "Shall we go? I'm starving; it's been a very long day at the office"

At the same time Abby, Ziva, McGee and Ducky sat down together at a table in a restaurant.

"Why couldn't Tony join us?" Ziva asked and looked around to see if he may show up.

"He said he had a date, so he had to pass on our team dinner" McGee answered

"His mystery girlfriend?" she wondered curiously, but McGee just gave her a how-should-I-know look.

"And I don't suppose Gibbs will show up?" Ducky asked, Gibbs had only been at two of their dinners, out of six, so neither of them was very surprised that he wasn't there.

"No, he's probably at home, sitting in his basement working on a boat" Ziva said with a small laugh. Abby looked down at her menu, thinking that Gibbs was probably with Jenny, maybe enjoying a nice, calm dinner together.

"You did tell him it was tonight, right?" McGee asked Ziva and she nodded "Of course I did, McGee. Hey, look, he's coming right there!"

Abby shot up her head at Ziva's words, there was he indeed, though he didn't appear to be looking for them.

"What's the matter with him, why doesn't' he see us?" McGee said, but the next second they looked very shocked, except for Abby, but she tried her best not to show them that she knew.

"What's he doing here with the Director?" McGee asked, stunned as he saw Gibbs lead Jen to a table for two.

"Maybe they are doing what we are doing right now, just catching up after work, I doubt they are in a relationship" Ziva stated, and Abby felt like she had to agree.

"You are probably right" she said and the other looked at her "I mean, they couldn't possibly be in a relationship now could they?"

"I don't know…Did you see her dress? It was very hot though…Ouch!" McGee started but was cut off by Abby kicking him underneath the table.

"Don't say that about our Director, Timmy!"

Unaware of the fact that they had been spotted, Gibbs and Jen sat down at their table. Gibbs held out the chair for her and then sat down himself, not opposite to her, but slightly next to her. She smiled sweetly.

"Is there any specific reason for this date, and why aren't we spending the evening with Amy now when she's just gotten home?" Jen asked, but Gibbs just handed her a menu.

"Relax Jen, why don't you decide what you'll eat?" he suggested and she nodded, getting more and more curious to what he had in mind.

Abby was slightly nervous, which was unusual. She didn't think it was necessary for the others to find out about Jen and Gibbs just yet. For a second she considered telling them she was going to the ladies room, and on the way tell Gibbs they were seen, but she was sure Ziva would go with her, and that would ruin everything. Damn. She just had to hope Gibbs and Jen were going to be subtle. Unfortunately she sat with her back towards them, and she noticed McGee glancing past her every now and then to look at his boss, as if he was suspecting something.

Jen and Gibbs ordered in their food, while waiting they talked and laughed. Jen was happy about their relationship, they were better now than they had been the last time, it felt strong, like it was meant to last, she really hoped that would be true, that they would spend the rest of their lives together.

When they got their food, the conversation ceased as they focused on their dinner. Jen brought her wineglass to her lips and drank; she lightly bit her lip as she put the glass back onto the table.

"Jethro?" she started and he looked up at her "Have you ever thought about how our lives could have been like if we hadn't broken up? If we had, I don't know, gotten married and raised Amy together?" she wasn't embarrassed to ask him, she just wasn't sure what he would answer.

"Yes, I have thought a lot about it. If we had discovered what we have now back then, I think we still would be together" he admitted and casually took her hand, he stoked his thumb over the back of her hand, and she smiled at him.

Jen found herself unable to take her eyes off him, maybe it was because of the candle light, but his eyes seemed to glisten in such a special way, they appeared so deep, they enchanted her, and she couldn't let go of them.

"Jen?"

She was brought back to reality by his voice calling her name; she shook her head slightly, almost like she was trying to wake herself up.

"What?" she asked casually and he smiled.

"Why don't you eat your dinner before it gets cold" he suggested and she blushed.

"Right" she said and smiled back and they both returned to their plates, now having some nice small talk while eating.

Tony and Jeanne was also out eating, they sat opposite to each other, enjoying each others company, when Tony suddenly happened to look past Jeanne's right shoulder, and saw Gibbs and Jen sitting at a table together. He choked on his food, making Jeanne frown in concern.

"Tony, are you ok?" she asked worriedly.

"Yeah, I'm fine" he said while coughing. He hoped they wouldn't see him, he decided he would pretend like he hadn't noticed they were there, easier said than done. By the way, what were Jen and Gibbs doing here together? Okay, he shouldn't think about them, he'd better focus on his girlfriend right now, and deal with this tomorrow. He looked back at Jeanne and gave her a big smile.

Time passed, and Jen and Gibbs ordered in dessert, ice cream. Gibbs decided it was time to tell Jen why he had taken her out tonight. She had just brought a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth, and he reached out and took the spoon from her fingers, she looked surprised as he did so. He then leaned in and kissed her.

"Oh my god" McGee just stared past Abby, unable to believe what he was just watching, he felt embarrassed for looking and lowered his gaze.

"What, McGee?" Ziva questioned, and Ducky looked in the direction McGee just had.

"Good lord" he said and Abby got a weird feeling that their big secret was exposed.

"They kissed" McGee said, shocked, looking from Abby to Ziva. Ziva looked just as surprised as he and Ducky, but Abby forgot to act surprised, instead she bit her lip nervously.

"Abby? You don't look that shocked…" McGee observed, and she shook her head, she better tell them now when they already knew.

"I found out they were in a relationship a few weeks ago, they know that I know" she finally admitted.

"How come you didn't tell us?" Ziva wondered

"I couldn't, they made me promise not to tell anyone"

"Well, we'd better tell them we know tomorrow, so they won't have to hide it from us anymore" Ducky said and they all agreed to that.

By another table, Tony was just as shocked. Gibbs and Jen, kissing? No, he couldn't be seeing that, it couldn't possible be them, could it?

"Jen, there is something I want to tell you, the whole reason why I took you out here tonight. Now is the right time" Gibbs started and took her hand in his. She didn't say anything, just waited for him to continue, but he saw curiosity in her eyes. He decided to just get to the point, the explanations he could do later.

"I love you Jen, and from what I know, you feel the same for me" he said and she nodded. He let go of her hand and reached into the pocked of his suit jacket, Jen's eyes followed his hand and saw him take out a small jewellery box. He opened it and her breath was caught in her throat.

"Jenny Shepard, will you marry me?"

Her mind was spinning, and before she knew it, she answered "No…"

Gibbs stared at her for a brief second, and then he rose from his chair and without a word walked out from the restaurant.

"Jethro, that's not what I meant…" she whispered after him, knowing he wouldn't hear her. When she lowered her gaze, she found the jewellery box he had left on the table, and she took it up, looking at the beautiful simple golden ring inside and a single tear fell from her eye and landed upon the gold.

_How can I be so cruel?? But what did Jen really mean with that 'no'? Will she try to fix their broken relation? I promise to update asap._


	18. Hurt

Jen was still in shock over his sudden departure, but she decided she'd go before people started to look at her; all they would see was a lonely woman, abandoned by her date, when in fact it was all her fault. She paid the bill and then made her way out of the restaurant. They had come in his car, so of course he had taken it, she called a cab. While waiting she called his cell, but she didn't get an answer. She hoped they would meet at home, she needed to explain.

But the moment she stepped out of the cab, she knew he wouldn't be there, his car was nowhere to be seen. He had probably gone home to his place, but she figured he'd return, in due time, or at least answer her calls. When she entered her house, Phoebe sat in the living room watching TV.

"Hi Phoebe" she said as she took off her jacket.

"Hey Jenny, you know your guy came over and picked up his stuff, I think" Phoebe said as she rose from the couch. Jen felt like if she had just been punched in the chest.

"He…he picked up his stuff?" her voice was low and she struggled to keep it steady.

"Yeah, has something happened?" she asked, now sounding a bit worried for her friend.

"You know, thanks for baby sitting tonight, you'll be here tomorrow?" Jen changed the subject, it wasn't that she didn't trust Phoebe; she just didn't feel like talking about it.

Phoebe understood the hint "Of course I'll be here with your little princess tomorrow. Bye Jenny" she said and left.

Jen didn't move for a long time, she stood absolutely still in the hallway, trying to comprehend what had happened tonight, what she had said… After a while she walked over to Amy's door and looking into the room, her daughter was fast asleep; she wondered how she would react when she found out her dad had moved out, and it was Jen's fault. She closed the door with that in her mind, the knowledge that she had ruined everything for her daughter, it broke her.

She sank down into the living room couch, she started to cry, buried her face into her hands as she cried her feelings out. Who had been most stupid, her or him? She for answering the way she had, or him for not staying and letting her explain, instead of just walking off and leaving her lost and heart-broken. She understood he must be just as heart-broken as she was, probably more since she was the one who had rejected his proposal, but she was so confused.

She once again picked up the phone and dialled his number. She was shocked when the signals were abruptly disconnected, he must have seen on the caller id it was her, and he probably didn't want to talk to her right now. Bastard.

She closed her eyes and more tears ran. She hadn't meant a no…

Next morning Jen was tired, she had been up most of the night trying to figure out what to do, that because she couldn't stop thinking about him and fall asleep. But now she had a plan.

At first she avoided him, just watched him from distance. From what she could see, he appeared to be in an unusually bad mood, she couldn't blame him. She was leaning against the railing on the upper floor and looked down at him where he sat at his desk, working on god knows what.

He suddenly raised his head and stared directly at her, she looked back. After watching each other in silence for a minute or so, she raised her hand and waved for him to come up. She became devastating when he answered with an angry glare and then turned back to work. He didn't even want to know what she wanted! How could he give up on them so easily? Maybe he just wasn't ready to talk yet… No, it not up to him what needs to be done or how we will do this, she thought angrily and decided it was time for plan b. She turned around and walked back into her office.

When Gibbs noticed she was gone, he sighed and put his fingers to his forehead. What was happening with them? He didn't really have time to think about it, since Ziva, McGee and Tony had just evacuated the elevator, he could hear them discussing something that appeared to be very interesting.

"You could never guess what I found out last night!" Tony said excitedly, and Ziva and McGee exchanged looks and smiled.

"Well, we know something you can't even picture in your wildest dreams, Tony" McGee said and Tony smiled

"Wanna bet?" was his answer as he sat down at his desk and when he glanced at Gibbs he noticed his boss was eyeing him in a very annoying way.

"Morning boss" he greeted and Gibbs merely nodded in response.

"You really should have been with us last night Tony, you missed something really huge" McGee teased, but Tony just smiled even wider.

"No, it was I good thing I didn't, otherwise I never would have found out… wait, what restaurant did you go to last night" he asked curiously, and when Ziva gave him the name, the smile on his face had disappeared, and he looked mostly shocked.

"That's the same restaurant we went to" he stated

"We? As in you and who?" Ziva tried, but Tony just ignored her, McGee seemed to understand where he was going with this.

"Wait…you mean we saw the same thing? Did you see…?" he started and glanced nervously at Gibbs, who hadn't paid any attention to what had been said, until Tony slowly walked up to his desk.

"Yeah, DiNozzo?" he asked and looked up, he was sure Tony had nothing of particular interest to tell him.

"Boss, you're in a relationship with the Director, aren't you?" Tony asked in a serious tone of voice, which made not only Gibbs, but also McGee and Ziva to immediately look at him.

"You saw that too, didn't you? You saw them kissing?" Ziva asked Tony, who just nodded in response since he was too busy watching Gibbs.

"You…saw us? All of you?" he hesitated, but it's was obvious that they had. Damn.

"Yeah, and Ducky and Abby too, but apparently Abby already knew about you two" McGee explained, Gibbs nodded, still slightly shocked.

"How serious is it between you too?"

Though Gibbs didn't show it, that question hurt like hell. He didn't know what they were right now, didn't know if they would ever be anything again. His phone rang and instead of answering Ziva's question, he chose to answer the phone.

"Yeah, Gibbs?"

"_Director Shepard wants to see you in her office, __it's important" _he head Cynthia saying before hanging up. He sighed and decided to go; it actually was preferable to sitting here and having to explain himself about him and Jen. Though he didn't really wish to talk to her, but she still was his boss, and he had no choice but to talk to her.

Jen sat nervously in her office, waiting. She knew he couldn't ignore a call from his boss, well, he could, he was Gibbs, but not if she said it was important. She just hoped he would show, she wanted a chance to talk to him, and this appeared to be the only way she could do so.

A couple of seconds later, the door burst open, and she knew with having to look up, it was him.

"You wanted to see me, Director" he said, his voice tense as she heard him close the door, but he didn't move away from it.

"I did, Jethro" she finally looked up at him, and he saw so much sadness in her face that he had to fight hard to keep himself from walking closer to her "We have to talk about what happened, last night" her voice shook slightly

"Well, I think you've made your point" he shot back coolly, but he regretted saying so when he saw her closing her eyes in despair.

"_That _is what I want to talk about" she stated and opened her eyes. Gibbs moved so he stood leaning against the table opposite to her desk, a good sign, it looked like he was willing to listen to her. Jen rose from her chair and also moved so she was facing him, her back against her desk.

"Why did you just leave me there? You went to my place and took your stuff, without any explanation. I called you several times but you didn't answer, I sat up all night trying to figure out what the hell you were thinking when you didn't even wait for me to explain further what I meant, then maybe we wouldn't be in this situation" she couldn't keep the anger from her voice

"So it's my fault? Am I the one to blame for all this? Because I wanted to prove to you how much I love you?" he matched her anger, but he hadn't been able to say 'how much I _loved_ you', he still did, and she had hurt him. That was the prize of love, hurt.

"No, you're not, but you overreacted, and you didn't give me a chance to make it right, you didn't give me the chance to prove how much I love you" her voice softened at the end of the sentence.

"I didn't mean what I said" she continued, and she could see a hint of annoyance in his eyes.

"If you didn't mean it, then why did you say it?" his voice was still expressing anger, but she could hear hurt too.

"I don't know how to explain…" she said weakly, but before she could even begin to, he cut her off.

"How can you not know? You said you would have wanted me to stay last night so you could explain, but you don't know how? Then this is a waste of time" he said and before she knew it, he had walked over to the door and laid his hand on the doorknob.

"Jethro, don't you dare" she said in a threatening voice which made him stop in his movements. "If you walk out through that door…if you refuse to listen to me, then we have to end this" her voice was soft, still not pleading, but stating an interesting point. He withdrew his hand and turned around and faced her once again. He stood there, his mind wanted him to leave her, she had turned him down, rejected him, but his heart told him he had to stay and listen to her, that she had a reason for saying no. He knew that he didn't want them to end; he didn't want to lose her.

"I'm listening" he finally gave in and walked back to where he had been standing before, opposite to her. He decided he would give them a new chance; he would try to make them work again

She sighed, both from relief that he didn't leave and from insecurity because she knew she had to play nice or she could lose him forever.

"I… I guess I was…afraid. I have never been married, no one has ever said to me what you said last night, and I kinda freaked out. I feared that it would be too soon" she explained and was glad to see his expression a little lighter.

"The only way to find out is…"

"to do it, I know" she cut him off and continued "What I wanted to tell you last night was that we didn't have to be engaged just because we love each other, we could still be together and work just as good as a couple"

"Maybe you're right, I probably rushed it. If you're not sure you're ready for marriage, then we can wait. And we can be together without having to be engaged" he gave her a small smile, which filled her with warmth and made her heartbeats increase.

"These past weeks have been wonderful, we have grown so close and now I can't imagine my life without you. But I did a lot of thinking last night, and I found that I am ready. Life is way too short to spend trying to figure out what you really want, and not doing what you should have done because you were afraid and by the time you know that was what you would have wanted to do, it's too late. I won't let that happen to us. I love you Jethro, and if you're ready to get married, then I am" she spoke slowly, her words really getting to him, she was right.

Jen smiled at him, before reaching into her pocket and when she withdrew her hand, she was holding something in her fist. She took a few steps ahead, standing a bit closer to him.

"What's in your hand?" he asked.

Jen slowly opened her fist and on the palm of her hand laid the golden ring he had left on the table last night.

"Jethro, will you marry me?"

Without saying a word, he took a few steps towards her, picked up the ring, and slid it onto her finger "Yes, Jen, I'll marry you" then he leaned in and pressed his lips against hers in a romantic and passionate kiss.

_I'll update as soon as I can, please review!!!_


	19. Living A Dream

Jen slid her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. Gibbs held her close against himself, one hand on her back and the other he laid softly on her head. Jen smiled and buried her face into his neck; she was glad for his answer; glad he wasn't mad at her anymore.

Jen started to pull away from the hug, but she kept her arms where they were. Their eyes met.

"Jenny Gibbs…sounds good" she said with a smile as she looked at him lovingly

"Yeah…what about Director Gibbs?" he teased

"That sounds like it's you" she laughed, then more seriously, she added "I believe this will work out fine"

"Well, the good thing is, we don't have to explain it to my team" he decided it was time to tell her.

"What do you mean?" she frowned as she slid her hand over his shoulders and down his arms.

"We weren't the only ones who went out to the restaurant last night, they spotted us. Saw me kiss you" he replied and moved his hand to her shoulder, gripping it gently.

"They told you that this morning?" she asked him and he nodded in response.

"Yeah, something like that" he said, not getting into explaining further. He changed the subject "It's not going to feel weird being married to one of your agents?"

Jen hesitated for a while, thinking about it. She wasn't sure how she would feel, but it couldn't feel too different from dating an agent, which she had done now for a while. It would be the name part, but if that was to be a problem, they would figure it out, their love was most important right now.

"No, I hope not" was the answer she gave him before kissing him again, just a light kiss, with her lips pressing against his for a few seconds until she broke apart.

"I love you" she whispered "I have some work to do, but we'll meet up at home tonight, right? If you bring back your stuff, of course"

"Did Amy wonder where I was this morning?" Gibbs asked without letting her go.

"Yes"

"And what did you tell her?" he asked with concern, he hoped Jen hadn't been so upset with him that she had told her her father had left them.

"I told her you had to go into work early, a case had come up. She didn't notice your things were gone. I couldn't tell her because I was gonna try to win you back, and I did, didn't I?" she was smiling when she stopped talking and played with the ring on her finger.

"Did you win me back? Or was it I that won you back?" he questioned, and she pretended to think about for second or so until she answered.

"No, I think it was me that won you back. I was the one who wanted to talk, and I proposed" she argued and tilted her head to her left, looking at him with curiosity. Gibbs smiled

"Well, you have a point" he replied and brought her back towards him, holding her close. He stroked his hand over her cheek and his thumb carefully caressed her lips before he kissed her.

"Jethro, work" she breathed when she pulled away from him seconds later. She back away from him and returned to the chair behind her desk. "Sorry, but I really need to finish this"

Gibbs nodded in understanding "Sure, I'll talk to you later" he told her and without another word, he walked out of her office.

Before she got back to work, Jen leaned back in her chair and smiled. She looked at her hand and the golden ring Gibbs had bought for her. How could she have been so stupid that she said no? She was glad she had found the courage to ask him, and that he had said yes. She was excited for the wedding, it would be her first, and she was so happy it would be with Gibbs, she knew he was the right man for her.

When Gibbs exited her office, he was so busy thinking about what he would tell his team that he walked right into someone.

"Gibbs! There you are! I came looking for you and Tony said you were at the Director's"

Gibbs head shot up at the sound of Abby's voice. The gothic forensics specialist was standing right in front of him.

"Abs, I didn't see you coming" Gibbs said "What is it?"

"I don't know if you know, but you're team knows about you and the Director. Well, I don't know if Tony knows, but I'm thinking maybe Ziva told him and…"

"I know they know, Abby" Gibbs cut off her rambling and she raised her eyebrows.

"You do? How? Did they tell you?"

"Yes, they told me" he confirmed and Abby nodded.

"So, have you told her that we all know? I mean, you just came from her office so I thought that must have been why you went up to her, right?" she asked. And to tell her the truth, that wasn't exactly why he had gone up.

"Abs, Jen and I got into a fight last night. After that I refused to talk to her, but she called me up to her office, to sort everything out" he wanted to be honest with her, but before he could tell her the rest, she cut him off.

"What? But you're still together, right? I mean, you guys can't break up! You're so perfect together, believe me, no matter what caused the argument last night, she loves you, and you love her. Wait, what was the argument about anyway? And are you still a couple? Because…" Abby looked kind of freaked out, she wanted Gibbs to be happy; she didn't want him to be dumped by a woman again. Gibbs decided to interrupt before she got out of control.

"Abs, relax. We are still together, and we're engaged" he told her, and she froze for a second before she threw her arms around Gibbs neck.

"Oh Gibbs, that's great. I'm so happy for you!" she squealed and Gibbs felt he had a hard time breathing. But before he could tell her to let go, someone else did.

"Abby, if you don't loosen your grip on his throat, I'm pretty sure you'll kill him" Jen said as she approached them. Abby let him go, and instead hugged Jen.

"Congratulations! Gibbs told me you're getting married"

Though Jen was slightly shocked by Abby's actions, she managed to give Gibbs a surprised look.

"He did?" she asked to moment Abby released her.

Abby looked from Gibbs to her. "You are, right?" she asked hesitantly. Jen suddenly started to smile and held up her left hand to show her ring.

"Of course we are"

Gibbs couldn't help but smile either; he loved seeing the ring he had bought sitting on her finger.

"I thought you had work to do" he asked his fiancée and she turned to him.

"I do, I just need some coffee" she said and gave him a look

"Will you get me some while you're at it?" he wondered

"Sure" she walked off towards the elevator. Gibbs watched her as she left, his eyes wandering down her back. When she had disappeared into the elevator, he forced himself to turn back to Abby, who he found looking at him with raised eyebrows.

"What?" he questioned, and Abby merely smiled at him.

"Nothing, I'm gonna go back to my lab now" she said quickly and left him alone.

Gibbs sighed and leaned against the rail, looking out over the squad room. He couldn't help but to wonder how things would change, their life, his and Jen's. These past weeks…it had been like living a dream. It was almost too good to be true. He remembered the last time he had felt like this, more than fifteen years ago. The time when he had lived in another dream, a dream that eventually had turned into a nightmare. He just hoped it would be different now, but he had learned that all good things in life came with a prize. Maybe the prize this time was work, the fights that could come with her being his boss, and her risking her Director's position for him. But now they were getting married, and they couldn't be happier, and he would keep doing what he had done ever since he had lost Shannon and Kelly, live every day like it would be the last, because he could never know if there was a tomorrow to come.

He forced himself to pull away from the thoughts; he had some work he had to finish.

Tony had a lot on his mind, namely Gibbs and Jen, and he couldn't help but to mention it. He rose from his chair and walked closer to McGee's desk.

"Probie, how serious do you think it is between Gibbs and the Director?" He asked, and behind him, Ziva rolled her eyes.

"Wouldn't know Tony" McGee answered with a sigh, he wasn't surprised that he asked though.

"Do you think they are, you know, doing it?" Tony waved his hands a bit and had a wide grin on his face, then the sound of a hand smacking against a head, and Tony's smile was replace with an expression of pain.

"Sorry boss" he said as Gibbs walked past him and sat down at his desk. He gave his agent an angry glare and Tony silently returned to his desk rather quickly.

"Boss…" McGee started but hesitated when Gibbs turned his head towards him.

"What, McGee?"

"I was just… I mean… I just…" he nervously licked his lip as Gibbs continued to watch him.

"Will you spit it out, McGee?" his stutter was getting on his nerves, though he had an idea what it was that he wanted to be said.

"Just, you and the Director…" he started again, but another voice cut him off.

"What about us, agent McGee?" Jen wondered as she approached them with two cups of coffee. She walked up to Gibbs, standing next to him behind his desk, she handed him one of the coffee cups.

"We-we know you're a couple" he answered and Jen smiled slightly

"I know that you know, McGee. I would just appreciate it if you kept this quiet for a while" she placed her hand unthinkingly on Gibbs shoulder, and accidentally showing off her engagement ring.

"Are you getting married?" Ziva squealed excitedly. Jen glanced at Gibbs before answering

"We are, but please don't scream it all over the building"

"Congratulations, that's great" McGee smiled widely

"What he said" came Tony's voice as he nodded towards McGee.

Now Gibbs couldn't help but to smile either, and when he met Jen's gaze, she looked just as happy as he felt.


	20. Secrets Of Jen

Later that Friday, Jen was going over some papers in her office, when the phone rang. She gave up a little sigh before she answered "Director Shepard"

She heard Phoebe's hysterical voice and froze at what she heard. Her heart started to beat faster and her hands trembled as she hung up the phone. It couldn't be true… their luck couldn't take this turn; everything was going so wonderfully well, and is of course followed by a catastrophe. She threw her papers down on the desk and rushed out of her chair and abandoned her office. She felt the tears threatening to escape from her eyes, they made her vision blurry and she almost tripped on her way down the stairs. She needed Gibbs.

"Where's Gibbs?" she asked Tony when she noticed his desk was empty. Tony looked at her and saw how scared she looked and immediately got worried for her.

"What's wrong, Jenny?" he asked back, but she didn't appear to appreciate that he wasted her time with annoying questions "He went to the head, I can go get him if you want"

Jen nodded and walked over to Gibbs' desk and sat down in the chair. She couldn't believe this happened. Her hands were shaking violently and she had to take a few deep breaths to try and stay focused.

"Jen" she looked up at the sound of Gibbs voice and saw him running towards her, Tony slightly behind, having a hard time to keep up with his boss.

"Jen, what's wrong?" he asked and knelt in front of her. He reached up to wipe away a tear that had found its way down her cheek. Before she could speak, she had to swallow a few times. But before a word could escape her lips, Ziva, Abby and Ducky approached them.

"Director? What wrong?" Ziva asked, voice full of concern.

"Tell me, Jen. I can help you" Gibbs said softly. He was taken aback by her behaviour, and she scared the hell out of him when she didn't talk.

The others had started to gather around Gibbs desk, and Gibbs wasn't so sure Jen appreciated that.

"Maybe you should give us some space" he suggested, but Jen shook her head.

"We're gonna need their help" her voice broke; it was thick from her crying.

Gibbs looked at her, he was confused, and he didn't understand what the hell had happened that could get her this upset.

"Jethro, Amy has been kidnapped" her voice was nothing more than a whisper, but it felt like she was shouting. The awful truth hit both her and Gibbs hard the second she gave voice to the thought.

He stared at her, letting the words sink in. He didn't know how to react, didn't know what to feel or say. He just slowly felt his heart fall apart as he realized what she was telling him.

He met her tearful gaze before she bent down and hugged him tightly.

Tony gave Ziva a confused look, and she looked just as lost as he felt.

"Who's Amy?" Tony asked seriously and the others looked at him, glad he had found the courage to ask so that they wouldn't have been the one asking what appeared to be a very personal question.

Neither Jen nor Gibbs answered, though Jen pulled away from his embrace and looked into his eyes.

"How did you find out? Did you get a phone call?" he asked quietly and Jen nodded.

"Phoebe called, said someone must have broken into our house, hit her unconscious and taken Amy" she responded, feeling bad for not have asked how Phoebe was doing, she had been too busy being worried for Amy that she hadn't even cared to ask.

"Phoebe?" Ziva repeated and looked from Tony to Jen and Gibbs, whom weren't paying attention to her.

Gibbs held Jen's hands in his, they looked at each other

"Boss, can you tell us what the hell is going on?" Tony's voice made them finally look up and Gibbs rose to his feet and moved to stand behind Jen, his hands on her shoulders.

"Amy is a six year old girl, our daughter, and she had apparently been kidnapped" Gibbs confessed, his grip on Jen's shoulder tightened as he spoke, as if every word was too painful to comprehend, not to mention speak.

The others stared at them in disbelief; Gibbs word wasn't making any sense.

"We will find her" McGee's voice broke the silence and Jen looked at him.

"We can't waste any more time. Tony, get the car. We are going to the crime scene to look for leads" he told his team and McGee and Ziva started to pack their things. Gibbs turned down to Jen.

"What are you gonna do?" he asked her softly and caressed her cheek.

"I'm gonna find my daughter, Jethro" there was a strong determination in her voice that told Gibbs he wouldn't be able to talk her out of this, but then again, he didn't want something to happen to her too.

"Fine, but don't leave my side. I can't risk you getting in danger too, Jen"

"I promise, and you have to promise me we find her" her voice shook and she leaned her head against his chest, her eyes closed, trying to gather enough strength to stand up.

"You have my word" she heard him replying. Jen opened her eyes and got to her feet.

"I'm just gonna go get my cell phone in my office, wait for me" she told him, but she didn't wait for him to answer before she took off towards the stairs. Gibbs looked after her as she walked; he rubbed his fore head as he thought about the damn mess they were in. This dream had turned into a nightmare, like he had feared. A nightmare that was starting to feel uncomfortably familiar. He didn't want to go through this again, he didn't deserve it, he knew that, yet he was here, about to go look for his missing daughter.

"Jethro? Are you coming?" Jen's voice brought him back to reality; he looked up and saw her standing by Tony's desk, ready to leave. He reached into hit drawer and found his SIG before he met Jen at the elevator.

"You got your weapon?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

"Of course I got my weapon, Jethro" she was still shaking and had tears in her eyes, but her movements were demanding and secure, like she was trying to show his she could take care of her self, put her emotions aside and concentrate at the case at hand.

Gibbs put his hand on her back and led her into the elevator. When the doors closed, Gibbs turned her towards himself, placing her hands on her shoulders.

"What is it?" she asked impatiently

"Are you sure you can handle this, Jen? I don't want to see you lose control" he said, his voice giving up how worried he was for her. Jen sighed and met his gaze.

"Don't worry about me, our only concern should be Amy" she assured him and gave him a light kiss, trying to give herself a little comfort from his touch.

They exited the elevator, Gibbs tried to hold onto her, but she walked out of his reach, he didn't know she did it intentionally or not, but it bothered him that she wouldn't let him care for her.

"Ready to roll, boss" he stated when they reached him and Gibbs gave him a nod in approval.

"Get in the car, I'll drive" Gibbs barked at him, and Tony quickly disappeared into the backseat of the car. Gibbs intended of having a short word with Jen, but when he turned to where she had been standing just a few seconds ago, he didn't see her anywhere, until he looked inside the car, on the passenger's seat. He sighed and walked around the car to get in himself. He turned the key and as he did so, he glanced at Jen, who wasn't paying any attention to him whatsoever.

Jen sat in silence, thinking about something Gibbs would never understand. Something she had kept from him during these weeks they've been together. She didn't know why she kept it a secret; it wasn't that he would walk out on her or Amy. But there was also something else bothering her, something she should have told him, but she never had, and now she had screwed up really bad. She looked out through the window, watching everything just pass by, wondering what that bastard was doing to her daughter this very second.

Then, as if he could read her mind, Gibbs said "You are keeping something from me, Jen" it was a statement, not a question, and she understood he had seen right through her.

"Yes" was her simple answer. She didn't look at him, not until he asked her to, then she slowly turned her head and faced him. He glanced at her for a second while trying to focus on the road.

"You care to tell me about it?" he sounded annoyed, frustrated that she didn't talked to him when something was obviously bothering her.

"Now is not the right time"

"Does it have anything to do with Amy?"

"Yes" she answered honestly. Gibbs sighed

"Then tell me" he raised his voice, clearly both stressed and angry about her way of avoiding to tell the truth.

Jen swallowed hard, she played nervously with her engagement ring before she found the courage to say something.

"Jethro, I have received…threats, concerning Amy. He said he'd…hurt me, if I didn't agree to a DNA test. I thought he'd come after me, not Amy" she started to explain, but it didn't make any sense to him. He held up his hand to stop her from explaining further until he knew what the hell she was talking about.

"Jen, what the hell do you mean? Who is this guy?"

Jen closed her eyes, when she opened them she met his gaze. Her eyes expressed regret; there was a certain sadness in them that worried Gibbs.

"Jen!" his voice was demanding and she saw no other choice but to tell him.

"These weeks…I have been thinking…" she didn't know where to start, but Gibbs kept quiet and let her take her time to gather her thoughts.

"I'm not so sure anymore…that you are Amy's biological father" that's it, she had said it. The car went completely quiet for a minute; Gibbs didn't look at her, just stared blankly out through the windshield. Jen closed her eyes again, she was screwed.

In the back seat, Tony felt very uncomfortable, this was unusual for him. He didn't want to hear this conversation, much as it would reveal about his boss's private life, this was just…gross.

Gibbs still hadn't said anything, and Jen felt she should go on "After we broke up, I hooked up with this guy in Europe. At first it didn't occur to me he could be Amy's father, all I had in my mind was you…"

Gibbs decided it was time to interrupt her "What made you all of a sudden think of him?" though he tried to disguise it, she could hear the hurt in his voice.

"I sort of met him, at the hospital, a few days before we took Amy home. He must have found out about her somehow, because he demanded a DNA test, wanted to now if she was his. Pretty girl, he called her, that's what scared the hell out of me. I told him to leave me alone. After that he started to make phone calls, first just to my office, and then he called me at home. He threatened that if I didn't agree to a DNA test, he'd take things in his own hands" she confessed, swallowing the great lump in her throat, she took a deep breath before she dared to look at him.

"Jenny, why the hell didn't you tell me this before?" Gibbs sighed, he tried to suppress his anger, but it wasn't easy. He was furious at her for having kept something of this nature away from him.

"I had hoped I could handle it myself, I didn't want you to get involved. I wanted to protect my family, I'm afraid it backfired big time" she said and put her hand to her forehead, she felt a bit dizzy.

"You don't have to protect me; it's my job to protect you. This is not just your problem, it's our problem" he couldn't help getting angry with her, sure, it was only natural that she was protective, but she needed to learn to not put all the responsibility on herself. She had done the same mistake in Europe, thinking she could handle something on her own, and then everything became screwed up.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Jethro, but I couldn't tell you without saying you may not be her biological father. And I never intended on letting you know that"

"Jen, you know me too well to know that I wouldn't care. I still see her as my child, whether I'm her real father or not. It hurts that you would actually think that about me" he shot back, softly but hurtful.

"I know that, I know" she tried to explain, she had another secret as well, a secret that she longed to tell him, but she knew he would never let her work on this case if he knew. She was aware of the risks she took, but she needed to find her daughter.

Gibbs pulled over and stopped the car outside Jen's house, and as soon as the car stood still, Tony evacuated it, eager too get away from the awkward conversation. Gibbs looked behind him as he heard the door slamming shut. He turned himself towards Jen, and she sighed and met his gaze.

"I know no one can ever take the place as Amy's father from you" she was the one to start speaking after Tony had left "But that doesn't change the fact that someone's has the right to know if he has a child"

"But this guy's not anyone, he kidnapped her, as far as we know, he's putting her in danger" Gibbs said and Jen answered with a nod.

"Do you forgive me?" she spoke low, as if not daring to raise her voice, maybe afraid to get a raised voice in response, or maybe afraid for the question itself.

He held out with the answer, took her left hand in his and slowly caressed her ring.

"Yeah, I do Jenny. Just…don't lie to me again, okay?" he begged her. She couldn't help but smile and nod.

They got themselves out of the car and joined the rest of the team inside Jen's living room.

"Found anything?" Gibbs asked McGee as they entered.

"No, boss. Ziva's questioning the witness and Tony's looking around the house" he said

Jen left the men as soon as she went through her front door and hurried over to Ziva and Phoebe.

"Pheebs, are you alright?" she asked worriedly and her friend gave her a weak smile.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I'm so sorry Jenny, I should have heard him coming, whoever he was" she sighed.

"Okay, I need you to tell me everything that happened…" Jen started, but was cut off by Gibbs calling her name.

"What is it Jethro? I really need to ask Phoebe a few questions, I want her to get home as soon as possible" her eyes widened as she saw the look on Gibbs face, the worried look, the scared look, the look saying I-don't-know-how-to-tell-you-this.

"What?" her voice was weak, she dreaded to hear his answer, but she still looked right at him, waiting for him to tell her.

"Jen…" he sighed and grabbed her shoulders, his voice was shaking when he started to talk "McGee found blood in Amy's room"

Jen's legs collapsed underneath her; luckily Gibbs managed to hold her up by the shoulders. In order to prevent her from falling, he pulled her close to himself, his arms tightly around her body. He could hear her crying, but decided to stay strong for her.

"I will take the blood to Abby; get her to do a DNA analysis. It could be from the attacker" McGee didn't know what else he could say, but Gibbs gave him a look over Jen's head, which told him he should just go, get it done.

Jen found it impossible to take comfort in McGee's words. She was inconsolable as she wept in Gibbs arms.

"Boss! I got something" they heard Tony's voice from the front door, there was hope in it.

_What did Tony find? And what more secrets are Jen hiding from Gibbs? What has really happened to Amy?_

_So, this story will now be longer than expected, I hope you appreciate the new plot. At first I had just intended of having a few more chapters, but now it will be a little more. Please review and give me your thoughts on this! Thank you!!!_


	21. Answers In The Blood

Gibbs looked up at Tony, who was standing in the doorway. He had something in an evidence bag. Jen turned in his arms to also face Tony, though Gibbs kept his steady hold on her, and she glad he did, since she didn't know what she could expect to hear.

"What you got, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked and Tony walked up to them. He held up the bag containing a piece of cloth.

"It's drowned in chloroform. I found it outside your house" he looked from Gibbs to Jen and back to his boss.

"Keep searching" Gibbs told him and when Tony left them, he turned Jen back towards him.

"Jen, you don't have to be here, you shouldn't be here. I want you to go back to NCIS with McGee, you can be with Ducky" he told her, but Jen started to shake her head.

"Jethro, I can't just sit there and do nothing. This is all my fault, I have to help fix it" she said tearfully, but demanding.

"No, it's not your fault. You didn't do anything, Jen" he couldn't believe how she could think that. To his surprise she gave him a sad smile.

"You're right, I didn't do anything. I didn't tell you about the threats; I didn't put up any protection. I did nothing" the tears had started to run again, but Gibbs stretched out his hand to wipe them off her cheeks.

"Oh, Jenny" he sighed and took her back into his arms; he held her close and felt her breathe heavily. He knew he was wasting time standing here, but he wanted to comfort her. Finally he managed to pull away from her.

"What are you gonna do? I'm not gonna force you to anything, but if you want to work out on the field, you have to hold it together, can you do that?" he asked, he did want her here with him, wasn't sure he could stand to leave her alone, not with this psycho on the loose.

Jen inhaled deeply, her eyes closed, and then she nodded "Yeah" she said and squeezed his hand "With you I can do it"

Gibbs nodded back, eyed her for a few more seconds until he was convinced enough that she was okay that he dared to let go of her. He left her standing in the middle of the living room, giving her some time to gather her strength.

"McGee" he said and signed for the probie to join him in Amy's room "Take some hair off Amy's brush, get Abby to do DNA match against the blood" he instructed and McGee bagged some of the hair he could find. He was just about to leave the room when he heard Gibbs sigh behind him, and when he turned to look at his boss, he was sitting down on his daughter's bed, looking rather lost.

"Boss, you ok?" he asked worried, Gibbs didn't look back at him.

"No, this can't be happening again, I won't let it happen again!" he said and put his hand to his forehead, thinking about what he could do to stop this from happening, both for his sake and for Jen's.

"We will find the girl" McGee promised, he was slightly shocked to see Gibbs like this, the vulnerability he was expressing, and in the depth of his eyes, the pain from so long ago reappeared. Gibbs head shot up and he stared at his agent.

"She's not just any girl, McGee" he said and rose from the bed to approach McGee "She's my daughter, Amy"

McGee nodded quickly in fright, and then left the room in a hurry, eager to get away from the pissed off Gibbs and get to Abby so they could get the DNA analysis done.

Gibbs stared at the small pool of blood on the floor. It couldn't be his daughter's, it simply couldn't. He decided he would look around in the room for clues to where he could have taken her. He looked at a framed picture of her and made a silent promise he would find her, she had changed his life once, and he wouldn't let her change it again.

A scene from another life changing experience flashed into his vision.

_A family going horseback riding on the beach…_

Changes into…

_A lone figure looking down onto a gravestone, a man who had lost everything over a time shorter than a heartbeat, a man whose entire life had depended on these two people lying buried __beneath him._

Changes into the present, he sees a man terrified it's gonna happen again.

He snapped out of the flashbacks, realizing he was staring at his own reflection in Amy's mirror, and he watches as the tears are making their way down his face, dripping onto the floor. He felt he's not alone in the room, he knows who it is, and he hates that she has to see him like this.

"I knew you would break down eventually, I just wasn't expecting you to do so just yet" Jen's voice filled the room as she walked up to him from behind. He watched her in the mirror; she met his gaze in the reflection. He noticed she looked much stronger and confident than she had looked earlier.

"I didn't mean for you to see me like this" he whispered and felt her hand on his shoulder

"I know you want to stay strong for me, and for Amy. Now it's time for me to be strong for you, we will find her together, Jethro. I have always had faith in you, and you have never failed me" she said and slid her hand down his arm, until she reached his hand, and intertwined her fingers with his.

"Thanks Jen" he looked away from the mirror and his gaze travelled to their hands, his thumb stroking the back of her hand. Jen squeezed his hand once more, and gave him a kiss in the neck before she walked out from the room. Gibbs closed his eyes, regaining his confidence and strength and when he opened them again he tried to see things from a new perspective.

Meanwhile out in Jen's living room, Ziva walked up to the Director.

"Jenny, there's nothing more we can do here" she said and Jen sighed and bit her lip.

"Where's DiNozzo?" she asked and Ziva pointed towards the front door just as Tony appeared. Jen saw him and hurried to his side.

"You got something?" she asked immediately

"I found blood drops and a shoe print that could be the kidnapper's. I also asked around in the neighbourhood if someone saw something, and I got a licence number from the car he drove off in" Tony reported and was rewarded with a nod from Jen.

"Jethro?" she called out, but she got no answer, he was still in Amy's room. Jen sighed and walked back in, she noticed Gibbs standing by the window, he appeared to be staring out onto the street.

"What are you doing?" she asked him softly, believing he was still broken. But when he spoke his voice was clear and determined.

"We locked the front door when we left" he started and Jen frowned as she walked up to him

"Yeah, so?" she didn't understand his point, or how this would help then find Amy.

"But this window was open" he continued, still not making any sense to her.

"What are you saying?"

"He climbed in, the door shows no signs of forced entry, and he doesn't have keys. Look here, Jen" he said and pointed on the window frame. She leaned closer to get a better look.

The color was slightly scraped away at one place, and right above it was a dirty fingerprint.

"So we have his fingerprint, we need to get it to Abby" Jen stated, though she knew Gibbs didn't need her to tell him what to do. Gibbs didn't answer; instead he started to search the area around the window, see if he could find something the kidnapped had left behind, but found nothing but dirt.

_Abby's lab_

"Abby!" she heard McGee call and quickly left her desk to go meet him out in the lab.

"Got something for me?" she said and nervously waved her hands.

"Yeah, I need you to do a DNA analysis on this blood and match it with the DNA from this hair" he answered and first held up the blood and then the bag with the hair. Abby snatched them from his grip.

"Do we want them to match?" she asked as she started to work on it.

"No, the blood was found in Amy's room, Gibbs and Jen's daughter. The hair is hers, we're hoping the blood is from the man who kidnapped her" McGee explained

"That's kinda hinky" she said subconsciously, while working on the DNA.

"What's hinky? The DNA samples?" McGee was a bit lost

"No, the fact the Gibbs has a daughter with the Director"

"You didn't know?" he sounded a bit surprised, he had figured since she knew about their relationship, she knew about the girl.

"No, McGee, how should I have known?"

"I figured Gibbs told you about it" McGee leaned against the table while he spoke to her.

"Well, you figured wrong, Timmy"

A few hours later, the team had gotten back to NCIS. Gibbs let Jen sit in his chair and he himself leaned against the desk. Ducky had joined them and helped them out with looking at the pictures from the crime scene.

"I checked the licence plate on the car, came back stolen. But I'll put out a BOLO on it" Tony said from his desk.

Jen wasn't listening; she was trapped in her own thoughts for the moment. She waited anxiously for Abby to tell her what she got out of the DNA samples. She glanced at Gibbs, he didn't appear to notice her looking at him, and she wondered how he was taking the whole thing about he may not be the father to Amy. He hadn't mentioned it and he didn't appear to be mad at her. Jen just hoped he wouldn't take too much damage in the knowledge, she had never meant to tell him. He had told her he didn't care if he was her biological father or not, she was still his daughter, but something told her he did care. She had something else on her mind, or she wouldn't be sitting her with her bottle of water, as opposed to Gibbs coffee cup.

Abby rushed up to them with McGee on her heels.

"I got good news, and bad news" she exclaimed and Gibbs sighed.

"Abby!" he barked, annoyed with that little game.

"Right" she excused herself and glanced at McGee. "Okay, so I matched the DNA from the blood to the DNA taken from the hair, and it's not Amy's blood"

Jen and Gibbs looked at each other, revealed. Jen dreaded to hear the bad news, but she had no choice but to.

"Bad news, Abby?" Gibbs questioned, his hand covering Jen's.

"The fingerprint you found, well I ran it though the criminal record and got a hit. His name's Daniel Carson" Abby told them and Gibbs saw a hint of recognition in Jen's eyes.

"You have heard about him" a statement, not a question, and Jen nodded.

"Yeah, I have. You found him in the criminal record?" her voice shook at the last words, terrified at the thought that her daughter was with some fugitive.

"Yes, he's been arrested for car theft, drug possession and…rape" McGee said nervously and Jen closed her eyes, not able to believe it. This couldn't be happening, it couldn't be true… It couldn't be him, not again. He wouldn't let him hurt her again…

"He was just released from jail"

Jen felt Gibbs hand slip away from hers, and when she looked up she saw him walking back and forth through the bullpen.

"Gibbs" Abby said to get his attention, and he came to halt in front of his own desk, he turned to look at her "There's something else about the blood"

Abby glanced nervously at McGee, cleared her throat before she said "Like I said, it's not Amy's blood, but it is however…from Amy's father. I'm sorry Gibbs, but it looks like Daniel Carson is Amy's biological father" Abby bit her lips and looked anxiously at him, trying to tell his reaction to all this.

Gibbs stared at Abby for a sec, and then glanced at Jen who looked absolutely devastated. He shook his head.

"Jethro, I'm sorry" Jen started her excuses, but Gibbs stopped her when he walked around his desk and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"It doesn't matter, Jen. It doesn't matter" he sighed and started to rub her shoulder.

"At least we know she's alive" Ducky stated

"Now we just have to find her" Ziva looked at the others and she met Tony's gaze.

"Well, get on it! Do everything you can to track down where the hell this guy is" Gibbs ordered and everyone quickly returned to work, except for Abby and Ducky, who stayed around Gibbs desk with him and Jen.

Gibbs threw his coffee cup into the trash "I'm gonna get a refill, you want some Jen?" he asked, he couldn't just sit here, but with nothing else to do he might as well get coffee.

"No thanks, I'll just stick to water" she said in a low voice and Gibbs immediately came to the conclusion something was wrong with her. Now when he thought about it, she had looked rather pale these last days.

"Jenny, how are you feeling? Is there something else bothering you?" he questioned and glanced worriedly at Ducky, whose eyes mirrored his concern.

Jen bit her lip, decided she might as well tell him, though she knew he would be a lot more protective of her when he found out.

"Jethro, I've been meaning to tell you this for a few days now, but I wasn't sure how you would react, and now when we're getting married, I see no point in keeping it a secret" Jen confessed, and Ziva, Tony and McGee had all stopped with the typing on their computers in order to hear her better. Jen felt like the entire bullpen was holding its breath, just waiting for her to reveal her secret.

"I know now Amy is not yours, but…" she started, took a deep breath before she spoke the words she was so desperate to tell him "Jethro, I'm pregnant"

Silence. No one said a word; it felt like time was standing still, and Jen slowly turned around to face Gibbs. His mouth was slightly open and in his eyes she saw shock and complete surprise. Two words managed to escape his trembling lips

"You're what?"

_What effect will this have on Gibbs? Is there something else about Daniel Carson than Jen's not telling? And where is Amy?_

_Please review and let me know what you think about this, ok?? _

_Thanks, Emma_


	22. Falling Apart

"I'm pregnant" Jen repeated to the others shocked faces. She looked away from Gibbs, but she felt his grip on her shoulder tightening. Ducky was the first one to recover from the shock.

"Congratulations Jenny" he said and gave her a smile.

"Thanks" she didn't smile back though, she was nervous about how Gibbs would react, what he would think. He still hadn't said anything; he just slowly rubbed her shoulder, trying to comprehend.

"Jen, can I talk to you, in private?" he finally spoke, let go of her and walked up to the windows. Jen didn't even look at the others, just rose and followed Gibbs. He stood looking out through the window, it looked like it was about to start raining. Jen stood next to him, watching his face as he avoided meeting her gaze.

"You wanted to talk" she broke the silence and he sighed.

"You sure it's mine?" he asked, she was slightly hurt by both the question and the tone in his voice. It was chilly, as if he doubted her.

"I can't believe you would think that of me, of course it's yours" she placed her hand on his back "How do you feel about this?"

Gibbs considered her question for a while. He would never have guessed she was pregnant, that was just …very unpredictable. His head was spinning and he didn't know what to say right now, what to think, so instead of answering, he asked her "How long have you known?"

Jen felt this was going to be a very private conversation, not meant for everybody else's ears.

"Why don't we take this in my office?" she suggested and Gibbs thought that would be a good idea. He went up to Tony's desk.

"DiNozzo, keep working. Track down this Daniel Carson and find Amy!" he instructed and looked at him, Ziva and McGee, who all quickly returned to their computers.

Gibbs turned back to Jen and they walked together up the stairs to her office. Abby glanced at Ducky, who raised his eyebrows towards her.

"I'm gonna go back to my lab, see if there's anything I can do to help find her" Abby said

"Do you mind if I tag along?" Ducky wondered and Abby smiled at him

"Come on, Duckman!" she said and held out her arm for him.

Jen shut the door behind her. When she turned around, she saw Gibbs stand in the middle of her office, waiting.

"Why don't we sit down?" she sighed and gestured for them to move to the leather couch in the back end of her office. They both sat down next to each other, neither knew what to say, neither wanted to be the first to start talking. Jen was afraid he wouldn't take this well. Gibbs was afraid he would say the wrong words, make her upset.

Jen glanced at him and bit her lip; she decided she'd better start the conversation, no matter what it would lead to.

"Jethro…" she said at the same time as he said "Jen…"

Their eyes finally met, and Jen couldn't help but smile. In his eyes she saw something that looked like happiness, and she was thrilled to see that.

"When did you find out?" he asked her again and she reached out and placed her hand on his thigh.

"I started to suspect something, little more than a week ago. I bought a test, but I didn't take it until last night, after I accidentally turned down you proposal. I just wanted to know whether I was pregnant or not, and it was positive. But I wasn't gonna used my pregnancy to get you back, that's why I didn't tell you, I didn't want you to think that. Are you okay with all this?" she prayed he would accept her apology, and she glanced nervously at him. He just looked at her, his loving eyes wandering down to her stomach, then back up to her lips. Before she knew it, he pulled her closer to himself, wrapped an arm around her back and drew her into a deep kiss. Jen was completely taken aback by his move, but she quickly found herself in the familiar and comfortable situation, glad he took the news so well.

Gibbs slowly withdrew his face from hers, staring into her eyes as he caressed her cheek with his thumb.

"I'd say you're taking this very well" she said and couldn't keep the smile off her face.

"I'm happy for us, Jen. We will find Amy and everything will be fine" he promised her, and at the mentioning of her daughter, Jen looked sad. She sighed and leaned towards him, her head resting on his shoulder.

After a few minutes of silence, Jen spoke "I can't believe how much my life…our life… will change from now on. The wedding, the baby…" her voice broke, she didn't want to think about the future, not when she didn't know if Amy would be in it or not. She heard him sigh, and felt his arms tighten around her, pulling her even closer. He rested his head on top of hers.

"No matter what happens, we will get through this, Jen" he promised her quietly, she didn't respond, but he felt her nod. She wanted to believe him, she really wanted to, but she didn't know if she could. She didn't know if she could go on with him if she lost Amy. There were still secrets she was keeping from him, about both herself and Amy, and she just didn't know what to do anymore.

"You okay?" he asked, her silence worrying him. She took time to answer, deciding she wasn't ready to tell him the truth just yet.

"I'm fine, considering the circumstances" she chose to answer, and since he had no reason to not believe her, he didn't argue. Gibbs kissed her hair and lifted her gently away from him, holding her steady by her shoulders as he eyed her.

"Good" he said softly after a while. He left a sweet kiss on her lips before he rose to his feet and held out his hand for her to get up too. She hesitantly took it and allowed him to drag her to her feet. Though she didn't let go of his hand, she didn't want to, because it felt safe, and that was a feeling she didn't want to loose.

"We should go see if the others are making any progress" he said and Jen agreed. Still holding hands, the walked over to her door where Gibbs stopped to look at her.

"If you want to keep our relationship a secret, maybe we shouldn't go out holding hands" he pointed out and tried to let go, but she still held onto him.

"Jenny…are you sure you're ok?" he asked worriedly. Jen looked up at him.

"Yeah, yeah, let's go" she said, but he didn't move. "Jethro…"

"I'm not so sure you are, Jen. Maybe you should lie down on the couch for a while, get yourself some sleep" he suggested, but she shook her head, though she felt how tired she was. She had barely slept last night, and today had been so stressful. Gibbs saw she needed sleep, and he wouldn't let her work this case any further until she had rested.

He took a steady hold on her and guided her back to the couch.

"No, Jethro. I need to find my daughter" she protested, but Gibbs was stronger than she was, and he forced her down onto the couch.

"You will, but not before you have rested, Jen. You will be able to think much better once you have gotten some sleep" he said and sat down on the table, gently helping her to lie down on the couch. He lifted her head and pushed a cushion underneath her head, and laid her down. When he withdrew his hand, he brushed it against her face. A brief touch, but comforting and soothing, making her feel safe.

"Get some sleep, Jenny. I will wake you if we find something" he promised in a low voice. He bent forward and kissed her softly before he sat and caressed her hair, waiting for her to fall asleep. He realized his other hand was still holding onto hers, and once she had drifted off to sleep, he kissed her hand before he slipped his out from hers. He noticed she was shivering slightly; he easily put his hand to her bare arm, and felt how cold she was. He looked around the office for a blanket, and found one at the end of the couch. He gently swept it over her body, tucking it carefully around her. He looked down at her, as her chest slowly rose and fell with every breath she took. He looked away from her; it was very tempting to just crawl down there next to her, join her in sleep and then face the problem together when they both where up and alert. But he couldn't afford that, she needed it more than he did. He decided it was time to get back to work, so he started walking towards the door, when he reached it he glanced back at her one last time before closing the door behind himself.

Gibbs hurried down the stairs, eager to hear if the others had found something about this Daniel Carson.

"DiNozzo!" he shouted when he approached them "You got anything?"

"Nothing that tells us where he's keeping the girl, but I was thinking that maybe we could start with searching his apartment" Tony said and Gibbs stopped in front of his desk, looking at him.

"Yes, boss?" he asked hesitantly, not exactly sure what else Gibbs wanted him to say.

"Why are you still here?" Gibbs barked and Tony quickly started to gather his gear, he should have known that. "Ziva, go with him!"

The two agents left and Gibbs turned to McGee, who was typing fast and furiously on his computer.

"Anything?" he said with a sigh, and McGee started to explain what he was doing, but Gibbs just shook his head and left to go to Abby's, he didn't have the patience to listen to all this, he didn't care what McGee did, as long as it helped finding his daughter.

Meanwhile, Jen sat up in the couch in her office, slowly rubbing her neck. She felt bad for lying to Gibbs, but she had no choice but to. She knew he would stop her if he knew what she was up to, or tag along, but he couldn't, he simply couldn't.

She rose from the couch and walked over to her desk and picked up the note she had found back in her apartment, she had shown it to no one. She glanced back at the couch and she didn't feel good about doing this to him, not after how sweet he had just been to her. Hopefully she'd be back before he noticed she was gone, but she didn't know for how long she'd be missing, and just in case anything went wrong, she figured she'd let Gibbs know where she was. Still with the note in her hand, she went back to the couch and placed it carefully on the seat where she had just been lying. If he came back before her, he'd know where to find her. With that thought in her mind, she grabbed her jacket and left her office.

"Abby!" Gibbs voice was heard loud and clear through Abby's lab, and the goth forensics specialist looked up from her computer.

"Hey Gibbs, how's it going?" she asked him with concern for her boss, she understood how tough this had to be for him.

"I was just gonna ask you the same thing, Abs. Are you finding something?" he asked with a sigh, and she glanced and Ducky who was right next to her.

"Nothing that reveals were she could be kept. But I have a lot of tests processing, like I'm checking his blood for drugs or alcohol, analysing the dirt he brought in, maybe it can tell me if he stepped in something specific…" she began to ramble, but Gibbs cut her off.

"The cloth Tony found, he said it was laced with…"

"Chloroform, yes. She was probably sedated, but it hopefully not a heavy sedation, since there was a very small amount of chloroform on it, it depends on how long she inhaled it" Abby explained and then she gave Gibbs a sympathetic glance.

"Gibbs, it will most likely be a while until I find something, you look like you could use some sleep"

Gibbs knew he was tired, just like Jen he had been up most of the night, thinking about what to do about their situation. He decided he'd join her on the couch for a while.

"Fine, I'll be in the Director's office, call me if you find anything" he ordered and Abby nodded in understanding.

Once he had left, she turned to Ducky. "Ok Ducky, we have to figure something out that can help us find Amy" she said with determination, and the elderly medical examiner agreed.

Before he went to her office, Gibbs walked back to his desk to get his cell, which he had forgotten there earlier.

"I'll be in the Director's office, call me when you get something" he said tiredly and McGee nodded.

"_Take him out! I'll get her"_

_Gunshots_

"_Damn it! He got away from me, what do we do now?"_

"_What do you think? We take her back to NCIS of course. Wait, you smell that?"_

"_Something's burning!"_

"_How the hell do we get out from here? The door's blocked from the outside!"_

_The heat and smell of the fire combined with the screams of the little girl made the two of them rush right into the trap…_

On his way up the stairs, he thought about Jen's pregnancy. He couldn't help to feel extremely excited about it, not that he didn't loved Amy as his own, but it would be fantastic to see and be there for Jen as she went through the pregnancy. But he couldn't think about that now, that was all in the future, and the future seemed awfully far away right now.

The moment he entered her office he knew something was wrong. He had expected to be looking at the couch with a sleeping Jen resting on it, but instead he found himself staring at a couch where the blanket was thrown aside and the place where she should have been lying was empty. He sighed and closed his eyes as the door shut behind him. She couldn't have done this to him, she would never screw him over, she would never break one of the rules he had taught her. But she was indeed gone.

'_Unless she's in the ladies room' _he thought and decided to stick to that theory until he found proof of her whereabouts. But when he sat down on the couch, instead of the feeling of his hand against the leather, he felt paper. He frowned as he took up the small piece of paper, neatly folded and placed on the spot where Jen had been lying. He got a bad feeling from this as he unfolded it and read what was written on it. It was an address. He knew why she had left this behind, he knew she had gone out to meet with him alone, and he also knew that she had left this for him to find if she didn't return so he would know where to look for her.

'_Damn it, Jenny!'_ he thought furiously as he practically jumped up from the couch and ran out from her office. He needed to find her, he couldn't believe she could put this on him too, wasn't it enough that he had one girl to worry about? He flew down the stairs and to his desk, reaching for his SIG Sauer and the magazine to it. McGee stared at him in shock.

"Boss, what the hell is going on?" he asked and stood up from his chair.

"Jenny is gone; I'm going out looking for her. Get a GPS fix on her cell" he ordered and McGee sat back down and started the trace.

Gibbs couldn't help but to wonder why she didn't tell him what she was up to, she obviously didn't want him to have gone with her, but she could at least have told him.

A few minutes later when he sat in his car, on his way to the address written on the note where she was supposed to be, McGee called to give him the location of Jen's cell phone.

"Thanks, Tim" he sighed before he hung up. She was still at the same address, and he sped up his car, hoping to get to her before she got hurt.

He parked about a block away from where Jen was supposed to be, and when he started walking and looked around for any sign of her, he noticed a crowd of people on the sidewalk standing around something on the ground. The object of the attention was blocked from his view by both the people and a large garbage container. He narrowed his eyes at the sight and hurried forward.

Almost there, he was stopped by a man wearing a serious expression on his face.

"Whoa, wait. We don't need anymore audience here, so could you please back off?" the man said but Gibbs shook his head.

"What has happened? My fiancée is here somewhere and she could be in danger" when Gibbs said that, the man's expression changed and he suddenly looked uncomfortable and concerned. That told Gibbs everything he needed to know. He hurried past the man and pushed the others aside until he came to an abrupt halt when he saw the woman lying on the ground. His eyes travelled from her black, high-heeled boots, her beige skirt, to the green jumper visible underneath her open jacket, until his gaze stopped at her face with her eyes closed and the short, red hair.

As he felt like if his heart broke into a thousand pieces, he fell to his knees next to her, and took her cold hand in his. "Jenny…" he whispered her name, but she lay there, so still, too still. Why couldn't he have gotten to her sooner? Why hadn't anyone helped her?

_That's two very good questions… Don't get too mad at me, just leave me a review and I promise to update in a hurry. _


	23. Her Darkest Secret

Gibbs sat on the ground surrounded by all these strangers, but his major concern wasn't them, it was the woman lying in front of him.

"Is she dead?" he heard someone behind him ask someone else. With a trembling hand he reached out and placed two fingers on her throat. He moved them around until he found her pulse, it wasn't weak but not too steady, but she was alive, though unconscious. Something he just noticed was that her chest was moving as she breathed, which he hadn't though about before, he had just been so sure he had lost her.

"Jen…come on Jen wake up" he begged her and leaned over her body to caress her face, it was as cold as her hands were.

"Does he know her?" he heard the others whisper behind his back

"I think it's his fiancée" the man Gibbs had spoken to earlier said and Gibbs heard a low murmur through the crowd as they understood and felt for him. He ignored them, he didn't cared if they watched him or not, all he cared about was Jen and to wake her up.

Jen was stuck in the darkness. She couldn't see anything, just darkness, but she could feel, and she felt pain, a pounding in her head that almost made her want to throw up. But in the middle of her dark hell she heard a voice, a voice she never thought she'd hear again, calling her name. _"Jenny!" _she wanted to answer him, she tried to open her mouth, but she couldn't. _'Jethro, why can't I talk?' _she thought instead. _"Jen, wake up, can you hear me?" _his voice became stronger, but her mouth was still locked _'I can hear you but you can't hear me!' _she thought sadly._ "Jen, please come back to me"_ she could hear the fear in his voice, and there was nothing she'd rather do than return to him, but she couldn't move, all she could do was lie there, listening to his pleading.

Gibbs instinct told him he needed to keep her warm, so he threw off his own jacket and swept it over her body. He just realized how cold it was outside, no wonder she was freezing, no wonder her hands had been so cold. He stopped in his movements and watched her as she moved her head.

'_Where is__ he?'_ Jen wondered, she had stopped hearing his voice, afraid he had abandoned her, she managed to turn her head, but to no use since she couldn't see anything. _"Jethro…"_

Gibbs reacted when he heard her speak his name. Thank God she was regaining consciousness. He placed his hand on her cheek.

"Jen…"

Her eyelids suddenly fluttered open and the first thing she saw was his face, her first thought was _'He didn't leave me!'. _She swallowed and their eyes met, she saw a great amount of relief in his.

"You're awake" he breathed, glad to see her beautiful eyes again. He heard positive murmurs behind him in the crowd.

"Je-thro" she coughed and tried to sit up.

"Wait, how are you feeling?" he asked with concern as he tried to make her lie down again, but afraid of hurting her more, she took advantage of his weakness and sat her body up.

"Dizzy. My head is hurting" she complained and put her hand to the back of her head. She swayed a bit where she sat and Gibbs quickly grabbed hold of her so she wouldn't fall.

"Okay people, I think we should give these two some space. That's it, move along everybody" the man Gibbs had talked to at first said and gestured for the audience to walk away. When the area was almost empty, the man turned back to Gibbs.

"I hope she'll be ok" he said with a smile that Gibbs returned

"Yeah, thanks for your help" Gibbs answered and the man said "No problem" and then he left them sitting on the ground together. A few people walking by stopped to look at them and asked if they could help, but Gibbs just dismissed them.

Jen rested her head against his shoulder and her body leaned against his as she still wasn't strong enough to sit up by herself. Gibbs held her close against himself; he had wrapped his jacket around her shoulders so she wouldn't freeze.

"We should get you someplace warm" he said as he realized his jacket wouldn't provide enough warmth for her, and he was starting to get cold too. He felt her nod against his shoulder as he slowly started to rise to his feet, bringing her with him as well. Once he had gotten them both up on their feet, he helped her walk towards his car.

Jen was still weak, but with Gibbs help she managed to stay up straight and moving. Her head was still resting on his shoulder, and they had their arms wrapped around each other.

Gibbs wanted to wait until she was feeling better until he started to question her about why she was here and what had happened to her. He was still upset with her for sneaking out on him and that she had scared him like that, he had been so sure she was dead when he had seen her lying there.

Neither of them spoke as they walked to his car. Jen understood he was mad at her for what she had done, and frankly she was mad at herself for going out alone, she knew something would go wrong, but maybe not like this… She realized silent tears started to fall from her eyes as she suddenly remembered what had happened before she passed out.

They stopped outside his car for him to take out the keys, and when he lowered his gaze, he noticed her tears.

"Jen…" he sighed and she looked up at him, her cheeks red from the cold wind and stained with the tears.

"I know you're mad at me…" she said softly and wasn't counting on him to deny it, she was right.

"You're damn right I'm mad at you!" he said loudly and she knew she deserved this, but it still hurt.

"Can we at least go inside the car if we're gonna fight?" she shivered and he glared at her before unlocking the car and he helped her climb into the passenger's seat. He sat himself in the driver's seat, put in the keys so he could turn on the heat. He sighed before he turned back towards her to continue their argument.

"You have any idea how damn scared I was for you? Do you know how I felt when I saw you lying there on the ground?" he didn't sound angry, yet. His voice was more hurtful, soft and was shaking slightly.

"Yes, I do Jethro. I would feel exactly the same way if it was you. But I'm so sorry I put you through this" she told him, and she really meant it, she understood what he had felt and she felt awful for have made him go through it.

"If I hadn't come back to your office exactly when I did, I could have lost you. Why didn't you tell me you were meeting with him? You have to tell me everything, Jen" he pushed her and she turned her upper body towards him, but resting her head against the back of her seat as she still was feeling dizzy.

"I will tell you. I guess it's time for me to be completely honest with you Jethro" she started but he cut her off.

"You haven't been honest with me?" he sounded almost shocked, not wanting to believe she had been holding out on him.

"Oh, the pot is calling the kettle black. Last time you weren't honest with me" she pointed out and he sighed.

"Don't start this Jen." He warned and she closed her eyes.

"Sorry, just that you…" she began but he held up his hand to silence her.

"What…is it that you have kept from me?" he demanded to know and Jen licked her lips before she began her story.

"I found the note in my house earlier today, and I didn't show it to you. I didn't tell you I was going to meet with him because I knew you would never let me go alone"

"You're damn right I would not" he interrupted

"Exactly, but I hoped I would be able to sneak off without you noticing, so I did, but it turned out he set me up for a trap" she paused but when he had nothing to say, she continued "I went to the address he had written, and I waited for him to show. He came up behind me and dragged me into an alley, where he started to pull off my jacket" tears ran faster down her cheeks as she prepared to tell him about the horror she had been so close to experience again.

"He tried to rape me, Jethro" her voice was only a whisper, but it filled the whole car with the cold and horrible truth of the words she had spoken.

"Why would he do that to you, Jen?" shock and fright stained his voice as he tried to comprehend what she had said, while he tried not to think about what could have happened to her if no one had stopped him.

Jen closed her eyes. It was something from her past, something she had put behind her, but this opened up old wounds, wounds that she never gave a chance to fully heal. She had never allowed herself to deal with what had happened, afraid that she would loose focus on her job, afraid to allow herself to cry for her own pain.

"Jen?" he asked when she had been quiet for several minutes. He reached out to her and placed his hand on he arm, and he felt her shiver at his touch, making him withdraw his hand.

"What the hell is going on with you?" he asked with concern. Jen knew he only wanted to help, but just like him, she was someone who didn't talk easily about her own feelings, or mentioned the inner demons she had to fight.

"You know I love you" she started and opened her eyes and saw him nod in agreement "More than I have ever loved a man before, so I will tell you my darkest secret, and you will be the only one who knows about it, besides me and him"

"Him?" Gibbs questioned, he was relieved than Jen would finally tell him, and he was glad she trusted him.

"Yeah, Daniel Carson" she spoke his name with suppressed anger, she hated that name, but even more she hated the person who was hiding behind it.

"How does he fit into your secret?" Gibbs looked down as he felt her hand slip into his; he squeezed it and waited for her to continue.

"You know I told you I had an affair with him shortly after we broke up, and that's when I got pregnant with Amy. Well, that is not true, that's not what happened" with her free hand Jen wiped away a single tear that had found its way down her cheek.

Gibbs waited, he wasn't sure what he had expected to hear, but it wasn't this.

"Just… a few days after our break up, I was walking back to my hotel room alone late at night. I heard someone following me" her voice shook as she continued "It was him, but I had never seen him before. He approached me from behind…and he attacked me. Dragged me into an empty alley, there wasn't a soul in the entire neighbourhood. And there he raped me, abused me. That scar on my back, I guess you never asked about it 'cause you assumed I got it from work, but it happened when he threw me onto broken glass" when she stopped talking and looked up at him, she saw something very rare. Tears were running down Gibbs face and she became aware of how hard he was holding her hand.

"That's how you got pregnant?" he asked her, his voice was low, he would never have guessed she had gone through something of this nature.

"Yes, but I always assumed you were the father. I didn't want to think about what had happened. I just wanted to forget, pretend it never happened. But as I tried to suppress the memory, I never really gave myself the chance to deal with it. I have never cried because of it" Jen told him and there was something inside her that longed to come out, something that had remained hidden for six years. She knew how close she had been to being raped tonight, and that brought back the pain from that night in Paris. She couldn't stand the pressure anymore, she decided it was about time she let it all out, all her feelings, and she started to sob.

As soon as he heard this, Gibbs immediately pulled her into his arms and held her close. Jen had her head on his chest, and she finally allowed herself to cry for her own pain, both the physical and psychological, that she had tried to erase from her memory but never dealt with.

Gibbs stroked his hand gently over the place on her back where he knew her scar was. Her sobbing increased as he did so. He knew it would be best for her if she got to cry all her feelings out, but they may not have time for that now, a serial rapist was on the loose, and he had their daughter.

"Jen, honey?" he started and ran his fingers through her hair. She didn't say anything, just tightened her grip around him, not wanting to leave his safe embrace. She jumped slightly as Gibbs cell phone started to ring. He managed to get it out of his pocket with Jen still leaning against his chest.

"It's Ziva, maybe she found something" he said before he answered "Yeah, Gibbs"

Jen stayed quiet during the conversation, her head had rolled over to his shoulder, and when she glanced at his face she saw his expression had changed, his eyes expressed pure horror. He hung up.

"What is it?" she swallowed her crying and concern filled her voice instead.

"They found Amy in Daniel's apartment" he started, he dreaded to tell her the rest, but he knew he had no choice but to.

"Isn't that supposed to be a good thing?" she asked as he helped her sit back up in her seat, though she still couldn't hold up her head by herself. Gibbs took her hand. "Unless she is dead…" her voice broke and she closed her eyes when she saw Gibbs pained expression.

"Daniel was there, they shot at each other but he managed to escape from the apartment, he probably ran off to where he was supposed to meet you. But he had set up a bomb to go off in the room where he kept Amy, and during the fight the place had caught fire too. They didn't know about the bomb, so Ziva got herself out of the flames and called 911, Tony stayed to help Amy out safe…it exploded…" he couldn't make himself go on, couldn't accept the fact that his senior field agent and his daughter may have died in the explosion.

"Did Ziva know for sure they were dead?" Jen said, her world would fall apart if their deaths had been confirmed.

"No bodies has been found yet, but neither has survivals" Gibbs said as he started the engine of the car.

"Are we going to the scene?" Jen wondered, she had to bit her lip to keep herself from screaming out loud in pain as the pounding in her head increased drastically and she had to blink several times in order to see him clearly.

"Yeah, do you think you can do that? Or should I take you to NCIS?" he asked, but he didn't notice she appeared to have problems with staying conscious.

"I wanna come to the scene, I have to find her" her voice gradually became weaker, and when Gibbs glanced at her, he saw something that almost made his blood turn into ice. Jen's head had tipped forward and her chin rested against her chest.

"No, Jen!" he shouted, but she didn't react to his calling. He took a complete turnaround and started heading out for the hospital.

Gibbs sat and waited anxiously in the waiting room at the hospital while the doctors examined Jen. He blamed himself; he should have taken her here sooner. He had known all along she wasn't feeling well, she had kept resting her head against something, and she had looked paler than usual.

His cell started to ring, and he picked it up to answer.

"Yeah?" he said while covering his face with his other hand.

"It's Ziva; I thought you were on you way here. Where are you?" Ziva's voice reached his ears and he sighed before answering.

"I'm at the hospital. Jen is hurt, Daniel came after her. I don't know what is wrong with her; these damn doctors refuse to fill me in!" he said furiously and he heard Ziva gasp when she heard about Jen.

"Will she be ok?"

"I don't know!" he called out loud "I hope so, she has to be" he said a bit calmer, but he was just so pissed off, no one had come to tell him about her condition, and he needed to know that she was gonna be alright before he left to take down the asshole who had done this to his family. "Anything knew about Tony and Amy?" he asked instead.

"No, they haven't found any bodies. There's a chance Tony got them out before the explosion" Ziva said, but there was doubt in her voice, she thought exactly the same as Gibbs did.

'_If they had gotten out, why hadn't Tony contacted them? Where were they?'_

"I'll join you as soon as I get Jen's condition" Gibbs told her before he hung up. He sighed and rose to his feet and went over to the reception disk.

"Hey, I'm still waiting for the condition on my fiancée, Jenny Shepard" he told the nurse who looked slightly annoyed.

"I have already told you three times I'll let you know when I have her condition"

Gibbs was soon freaking out, he leaned closer to her.

"The same psycho that hurt her may have killed my daughter and my friend. I need to know how she's doing before I can leave here and go catch the bastard" he said in a low voice and the nurse looked shocked and was feeling sad for his situation. She nodded and said "I'll go talk to her doctors, wait here" her tone was soft and emotional and then she hurried off.

Gibbs rested his elbows on the counter and covered his face in his hands, when he suddenly heard a very familiar voice calling for him.

"Boss?"

Gibbs raised his head and looked to his left. He turned his body around and stared at the dirty but very much alive special agent Anthony DiNozzo.

"Tony…are you ok?" Gibbs felt a wave of relief sweep over him; this meant there was a chance Amy was still alive.

"Yeah, I'm fine" he assured his boss as he took a few steps closer to him.

"Where's Amy?" Gibbs asked and swallowed the great lump that had begun to swell in his throat. Tony smiled slightly.

"She in an examination room over there. I think she broke her arm when I threw her out of the window in Daniel's apartment" he explained and he notice Gibbs shocked expression.

"You threw my daughter out of the window?" he asked, it just sounded so crazy, but he was sure Tony must have had a hell of a good reason for throwing out the boss' daughter through a window.

"That was our only way out, the place was on fire and I saw the bomb. I had no choice"

"I'm glad you two are ok. But why didn't you call?" Gibbs wondered

"I sort of left my cell in the apartment, I was just gonna go call Ziva now. And I should do that so she's not worrying about me" he said with a smile and left to find a phone.

Gibbs breathed out, one of his girls were safe, now he just prayed for Jen to be ok too. The nurse he had talked to returned, with a serious expression on her face.

Gibbs closed his eyes, believing it was either too late, or her condition was worse than he had thought.

"Talk to me" he demanded and the nurse bit her lip.

"She suffers from a light concussion, caused by a blow to her head" she explained.

"She will be ok, right?"

"Of course, it's not that serious, but it was enough to cause her to pass out and feel dizzy. She's sleeping right now, but you are welcome to see her" she said and Gibbs thanked her. He wondered why the hell it had been so hard for the damn hospital personnel to just tell him that, instead of letting him worry so that he almost went crazy.

He hurried over to her door, opened it and saw her lying on the hospital bed. He went in and pulled out a chair and sat down beside her bed. He took her hand in his and stroked it gently. He made a silent promise that he'd kill that son of a bitch that had done this to her, that had caused her so much pain and suffering.

_The war is not over yet…does Daniel Carson still have some dirty tricks to play on them in order to take Jen out?__ And what is it that he really wants with her, is it just about his daughter, or is there more secrets hiding underneath Jenny's surface? _

_This is probably the longest chapter I have ever written… but I just couldn't bring myself to stop, and I decided to not have a horrible cliffhanger to this chapter. And thank you all for the great reviews!! Emma_


	24. The Ring

_Two hours later_

It was 21.00 in the evening and Gibbs was still sitting by Jen's side, she still hadn't woken up. He had only left her one time, to get coffee and to check up on Amy. He had found her enjoying the company of Tony, and they appeared to have a good time together. Then he had returned to Jen. He wanted to be here when she woke up, after everything she had gone through and confiding her biggest secret to him, he thought he owed her this. He hadn't let go of her hand, he admitted to himself how damn worried he was for her, and the thought of how close he had been to lose her never really seemed to leave his mind. He had lost a love before, and he wasn't intending of loosing another one.

Jen struggled against sleep, but she knew she needed to wake up, she didn't know why, just that it was important she did. Her head was still pounding, but stubborn as she was, she forced her eyes to open, at first she was blinded by the light in the room she was in, but as her eyes slowly adjusted to the light she saw Gibbs sitting by her side, staring into his cup of coffee, and she felt he was holding her hand. He hadn't noticed she was awake though, so she thought she'd get his attention. Jen softly squeezed his hand, and as she did so, he looked at her face and met her gaze. She smiled when she saw relief light up his face and he put the coffee down on the table.

"You're awake" he breathed and bent down and kissed her cheek.

"And you're here" she answered softly, both glad and slightly surprised that he was.

"Of course I am here; no way I would leave your side. By the way, Ducky had told me that you barely left my side when I was in a coma, so this was just fair" he told her

"But I wasn't there when you woke up" she said sadly, but she knew when she had watched over him, it had been for the same reason that had caused him to sit here for her, namely love.

"Well, I wouldn't exactly have remembered you. But let's not talk about that. I have some good news for you" he gave her a smile and was just about to continue when she interrupted.

"Is it about Amy?" she immediately asked, all the concern for her daughter came back in a heartbeat, the fear and pain she had felt when she had known she may have been killed.

"Yes it is. When I was waiting for your condition, I ran into Tony. He told me Amy had fractured her arm, but otherwise she was fine. He is with her now, she will probably spend the night here, and Tony will provide for her protection" Gibbs filled her in and a smile lit up Jen's face, and Gibbs was just so happy to see her smile again.

"Oh Jethro, that's wonderful. But shouldn't you be with her? I mean, she is you daughter…" Jen knew he longed to be with Amy, and he had surely been sitting by her side all night, when instead he should have been with their girl.

"She's not the only one who's in danger right now, Jen. And besides, she seems to get along with DiNozzo, and he appears to really like her. She's fine with him, but you need some protection too, and I will be here to make sure you're ok" he promised her, and she didn't want to argue, fact is, she wanted him to be there with her. With her free hand she reached up and placed it on his neck and drew him closer to her until their lips met in a kiss. Gibbs followed her movements and leaned over the bed and ran his fingers through her hair. When he felt Jen stop the kissing, he pulled away and saw her eyes were closed.

"You ok?" he asked with concern as he caressed her cheek.

"Yeah, I'm just a bit dizzy. Do I have a concussion or something?" she wondered and opened her eyes to look at him.

"Yeah, you have. What did he do to you, Jenny?" he asked softly and she licked her lips before answering. The memories were painful, and she flashed back to what had happened earlier that same night.

"Like I told you, he tried to rape me, but someone saw him, and before he ran off, he pushed me into the wall. I hit my head and the next thing I remember is seeing you standing above me" a tear fell down from her eye and disappeared in her hair.

They sat in silence for awhile, and Gibbs played with her engagement ring. He thought about what more she had told him in his car. A part of him wondered why she had never told him she had been raped, she knew he would have helped her, she knew she could trust him. Another part of him understood why she hadn't told him. For the same reason why he had never told her about Shannon and Kelly, it was too painful and would just bring back the agony and the thoughts of what they could have done differently to have prevented this from happening. He knew he and Jen were very alike, neither liked to talk about themselves and their own pain, they both thought they could handle it on their own. They had both turned to denial in attempt to forget what they had been through. He had done it by re-marrying, she by pretending Gibbs was Amy's father. But unfortunately reality had caught up with them in the end.

"What are you thinking about?" her voice brought him back from his thoughts, but he didn't know what he should answer her, so he just shook his head.

"You just looked a little…distracted. You appeared to have something on your mind. Are you thinking about what I told you in the car?" as always she saw right through him, and he saw no point in trying to deny it.

"Yeah, I am. It's been haunting me for the past two hours now, Jen. Maybe it would be good for you if we talked about it, you know I'm here for you, and I always will be" he promised her, but she looked away from him, she didn't want to talk, not about this.

"Jethro…" she sighed; she knew he just wanted to help, but this was only hurting her.

"Not now" he added quickly "We don't have to talk now, but we should when all this is over"

"I already know what I want to do when all this is over" she said quietly, but he heard her, he just didn't understand what she meant by it. He frowned

"What's that?" he asked and she finally turned to look at him

"I'm gonna marry you" she said with a smile that got wider when she saw the look on his face, a mixture of shock and happiness that was so adorable on him. Laughter slipped between her lips.

"If you say so" he responded, quickly recovering from the shock.

"I do" she looked at him with loving eyes "Because I know we both have risky jobs, me as Director and you as a special agent, our lives are always in danger. And I know I want be yours before either of us die"

Gibbs looked at her and then he turned his gaze, and his hand, to her stomach. He rubbed it gently.

"I don't think either of us is gonna die very soon, there may be a chance, but I refuse to think that way" he assured her and smiled. Jen's smile faded and she lowered her gaze.

"I just want this to be over. This has been one of the longest days in my life" she said, exhausted, and she looked back up at Gibbs, who withdrew his hand from her stomach and placed it on her cheek instead.

"Go to sleep, Jen. I promise I won't leave your side, and Tony will be with our daughter, you can sleep safely without having to worry about anything" he told her and she nodded. Gibbs leaned in and gave her a kiss before pulling back and watched her close her eyes in exhaustion.

"I love you, Jethro" she whispered and he smiled to himself.

"I love you too. Good night, Jen" he responded and he sat holding her hand, wanting her to feel safe and waited for her to fall asleep.

Gibbs hoped it would be a quiet night, but that thought didn't lessen his worry that Daniel may come back and finish his job with Jen. But he'd be a fool if he thought Gibbs would leave her alone this night, but after all, he didn't appear to be the brightest in the world.

It was nearly twelve and Gibbs was still awake, he sat by her side and sipped his coffee, holding her hand. He watched her as she turned her head in her sleep. He took this time as an opportunity to think about the baby they were gonna have. He had honestly thought he'd never go through this again, but it made him happy, and he wanted to be happy. He knew he got along great with kids, and he loved them very much, and Jen made a great mom. In the end, it looked like his life would turn out to be better then he had thought it would ever be after the deaths of Shannon and Kelly.

Gibbs soon fell asleep; he rested his head on Jen's pillow next to hers, their hands still intertwined.

A sound woke Gibbs up in the middle of the night. He drew his gun and rose from his chair; he looked around in the room, but didn't see anyone. He figured it had just been a night nurse passing by outside Jen's room. Gibbs looked down at his fiancée and saw she was still sleeping peacefully. He felt he needed to go to the bathroom and decided he dared to leave her alone for a few minutes. He quietly exited her room and shut the door behind him and walked off towards the toilet. Just as he disappeared around the corner in the dimly lit corridor, a creature dressed in black sneaked into the room he had just left, the gun glistening in his hand…

When Gibbs came back a few minutes later, he immediately knew something was wrong. The door to Jen's room was slightly open, and he knew he had shut it tightly when he had left. He drew his gun and stood against the wall next to the door. He knew he had no time to loose, so he threw open the door and pointed the gun into the room. A heart-stopping scene met him when he rushed into the room, he saw someone stand next to Jen's bed, holding a gun to her chest.

"Drop your weapon!" Gibbs called out, and the mysterious man turned his head towards him.

"Take the gun away from her!" he ordered and the man withdrew his hand with the gun from Jen's chest and instead he pointed it at Gibbs.

"Drop your own weapon, old man!" he shot back in a hoarse voice

"It doesn't work that way. Now drop it or I'll shot you!" Gibbs tried to stay calm, but he was extremely nervous by this man standing next to Jen like that. He understood it was Daniel.

"You are never going to catch me" Daniel said with a wicked smile and held up something in his other hand. It glistened in the light coming from the window, and Gibbs saw the ring and immediately realized it was Jen's engagement ring.

"How do you know she's not already dead? I do carry a knife too, I could have killed her without a sound" Daniel was playing Gibbs, dared him to take a shot at him.

"Drop your weapon" Gibbs repeated, but Daniel kept smiling at him.

"No, I won't" he replied and raised his gun to Gibbs and fired three rounds. Gibbs had to throw himself down on the floor to avoid the bullets coming towards him. When he looked up, he caught Daniel climbing out through the window. He rushed forward and reached out in order to catch him, but he missed and was left hanging out through the window on the second floor of the hospital and saw as Daniel landed softly and gracefully on the grass. Gibbs took up his gun and fired twice at the figure running away and then he got into a car and left.

Gibbs didn't have time to run after him, he needed to check up on Jen first.

"Jenny!" he called out and grabbed her upper arm, but immediately let go of her. He stared at his hand in shock, even in the dark room he recognized the red liquid on his fingers and identified it as blood.

Then everything happened at once, the door flew open and Tony rushed in, accompanied by two nurses.

"Boss what happened?" Tony called out, but he then saw his boss staring blankly back at him.

"Boss?" he asked worriedly and put down his gun when he didn't see anyone else in there. Tony's voice brought Gibbs back to reality, and instead of answering his agent, he turned to the woman on the bed.

"Jen!" he called out again

"I'm ok" she whispered, and Gibbs breathed out in relief.

"Thank God!" he placed his hand on her cheek as she opened her eyes and looked at him tearfully.

"Are you hurt?" she asked worriedly as she felt the pain from her own wound on her arm.

"No, I'm fine" he assured her and then he turned to one of the nurses "Hey! She's wounded, do something!" he barked and she quickly moved up to Jen's side.

"So, what happened?" Tony asked, and Gibbs turned to him and walked closer to him.

"Daniel was here, but he escaped through the window. Call metro police and tell them to cut off the road. Call Ziva as well and have her take over protection of Amy. Go back to her in the meantime" he ordered angrily and Tony was quick to obey, he figured there was no point in arguing with Gibbs right now.

Gibbs walked back to Jen's side and watched as the nurse took care if the cut in her arm. He stayed quiet during the process and when the nurses had made sure she had no other injuries, they left them alone.

Gibbs sat down on his chair and looked at his knees, not wanting to meet her gaze.

"Don't blame yourself for this Jethro" her voice broke the silence between them. She could tell from his looks that he felt guilty for what had happened.

"I shouldn't have left you alone, it was my mistake" he said, but then he felt her hand under his chin, lifting his head up until their eyes met.

"You didn't know he was here, I am not holding you responsible for this" she assured him. She didn't know what she could say to him that could convince him it wasn't his fault.

"I know you're not, but I am. This is the second time I have been close to loose you because of him" he took her left hand in his, and he felt her ring was missing, like he had suspected.

"He took my ring…" she said sadly

"I'm gonna get your ring back Jen, and I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch" he promised her. Jen looked at him with love.

"I know. I have faith in you, Jethro" she said before she pulled him down and left a soft kiss on his lips.

"Thanks, Jen" he said and caressed her cheek gently. He was gonna kill Daniel, and once he had done that, he'd marry Jen. That was the only comforting thought he could think of right now, but it was strong enough. She was now the main reason why he wanted to keep living; he saw a future with her, and he desperately wanted it to come true. And he would make it come true, no matter what. He also knew that if not his future with Jen, he'd save Jen's and her children's future, at the expense of his own life, he would at least save hers. But he hoped that wouldn't be the case, but he still wouldn't hesitate to sacrifice his own life if he knew it would save her.

_So, now the chase after this bastard has really begun. Will Gibbs manage to save Jen, Amy and himself, or will that be one too many lives to save?_

_Thanks to you who are reading this and an update will be up as soon as I have written the next chapter. Please review._


	25. Die For You

Jen quickly recovered from her concussion, and she got to gather her strength in peace. Gibbs was by her side as always, and Tony would come visit with Amy every day while Jen was in the hospital. The girl was so happy her mom was ok, and her mom was more than happy that her child was alright. And Gibbs, he was just happy both of them were alive, but he couldn't let go of the thoughts of what they would have to go through if he didn't find any other way out of this mess than to sacrifice his own life. It was like a dark cloud that hung over his head, always threatening to pull him down into feelings of guilt. Jen had of course noticed something weird in his behaviour, and she had asked him about it, once or twice. The third time she asked if he was really ok, he started to feel really bad for lying to her, the first time he had just convinced himself he was protecting her. He remembered the rule, "always be specific when you lie", and he decided he would keep 'protecting' her from the truth.

"I told you, I'm fine, Jen. You gotta stop worrying about me" he tried to convince her, but she still wasn't sure.

"I don't know" she said thoughtfully "This past week you have been…happy one second, and the next it looks like you suddenly started to think of something that takes your happiness away. I want you happy, Jethro, so will you please tell me what's wrong, or I'll know you have been lying to me" she looked so serious and fragile where she lay in the hospital bed, and the guilty feelings in his heart felt stronger and heavier than ever.

"I don't mean to lie to you, Jen" he sighed. He sat in his usual chair next to her bed, and he looked down into his coffee mug, trying to figure out something he could tell her, without lying. He felt a soft hand caressing his upper arm, and when he turned his gaze, he saw her slender fingers with the manicured nails gently grabbing his arm.

"Then don't lie to me, tell me the truth" her voice was soft, with a hint of demand in it.

Gibbs finally met her eyes, and he gave her a weak smile.

"I just can't stop thinking about Daniel" he told her and she raised her eyebrows

"You think I can? No, I can't, but I'm enjoying every minute I have together with my family, every minute he has stayed away I have taken advantage of. I just want you to do the same, Jethro. Who knows what the future holds for us, or what would happen if he gets me before you can bring him down" the words were caught in her throat, it wasn't that she feared death, the only thing she feared was to hurt people, she new both Gibbs and Amy would be hurt if she gave her life in order to save theirs, and sacrificing herself was something she'd gladly do if she knew it would save the lives of those she loved.

"I won't let you die, Jen. I won't even give him the chance to hurt you" he promised her as he took her hand from his arm and squeezed it gently.

"How do you plan on doing that?" she asked, but saw the expression he wore "No, you will not give your life in order to save mine" she was scared and her voice shook slightly when she spoke. Gibbs took a second to figure out what to tell her, but he knew it wasn't just her life that was on the line.

"It's not just your life anymore, Jen. There's also our baby's life, and I'd rather have you surviving so you can have it, than me. I have already lost a wife and a child, don't make me loose that again"

Jen hated it when he brought that up; he knew she couldn't argue with him on that point, because she didn't know what kind of pain it brought with it, all the emotions and suffering.

She decided she'd put an end to this uncomfortable conversation

"Fine, let's just hope neither of us has to die, and we shall do everything we can in order to get him down without risking our own lives, is that clear?" she asked sternly, and Gibbs admired her faith.

"Yeah, it's crystal, Director" he answered and found himself smiling the first sincere smile in the whole day. Jen mirrored his smile and they reached an agreement on this point, no one would die for the other, unless absolutely necessary.

"How are you feeling?" he asked

"I'm much better, thank you" she answered and by his hand she drew him closer to herself. Gibbs followed her movements and started to lean slightly across her bed, keeping his face close to hers. They started into each others eyes for a moment before she felt his lips brushing against her own. She put her hand on the back of his head and pulled him back down to her, and their lips met once again.

"Whoa, you could have warned us, this is not a sight anyone should see" Tony's voice suddenly came, forcing Jen and Gibbs to quickly pull away from the kiss. Gibbs sat up straight in his chair and looked at the door way where Tony DiNozzo stood, holding Amy by the hand.

"Tony, what do you want? "He asked, he didn't sound angry, just slightly surprised to see them there.

"I just came to say Ziva will be taking over protection of Amy, since I'm gonna go with McGee to follow up on a lead concerning Daniel" Tony told them

"Will she be at NCIS?" Jen asked and glanced at her daughter

"Yeah, and Abby and Ducky will most likely be there to help entertain the little princess" Tony said and lifted up Amy into his arms and she giggled.

"I like Abby, she's so cool" she said and both Jen and Gibbs laughed. Tony smiled too, he liked this girl, he had never had a kid of his own, or for that matter been around kids very often, so this whole situation was new to him, but he had like her from the moment they started talking.

"Okay, just be careful sweetheart, and whatever you do, don't go off by yourself, you got me?" Jen said warningly, but Amy gave her mother a sweet smile

"I know mom, Tony has already told me I can't wander off" she said and Gibbs shot Tony a rather surprised look.

"Really? Maybe you should become a father some day Tony, you seem to get really into the parent thing" Gibbs mocked and Tony glared at his boss before setting Amy down on the floor so she could say good bye to her parents.

Amy rushed forward to her father, and he picked her up into his lap so she could lean over to bed to get to her mother.

Jen wrapped her arms around her neck and kissed her head before saying good bye.

"I love you mommy" Amy told her and Jen smiled sadly and tucked some hair that hung across Amy's face behind her ear.

"I love you too, honey" she said and pulled her daughter back into her arms in a tight hug. One of her arms was around Amy's waist, and the other she held on her head, holding her against her chest.

Amy lay still in her mother's embrace, and she enjoyed the comfort it gave and she inhaled the scent of Jen that she loved so much.

The room was silent and Gibbs and Tony's eyes met, Gibbs at least having a clue why Jen didn't want to let go of her child, Daniel could show up when they least expected it, and he understood Jen wanted to have said a proper good bye to her daughter if Gibbs wouldn't be quick enough to save Jen's life.

After a few minutes Jen thought if was time to let go, and she loosened her grip, and Amy slowly sat back up, she gave her mom a smile that Jen returned, before she turned to her dad.

"Bye daddy" she said and hugged him as well, and Gibbs held her the same way Jen just had, and just as hard. But for not as long. Amy pulled away and Gibbs immediately let her go, but she told him she loved him before she climbed down from his lap.

"I love you too" he said after her as she ran back to Tony and took his hand.

"Okay girl, let's go back to NCIS and deliver you to your new protectors" Tony said and they started to walk out of the room, but Amy turned and waved at her parents, who immediately returned the gesture. Then they left the room.

Jen leaned back against her pillow; she was half-sitting up in her bed.

"Hey" she turned to Gibbs when she heard him speak "It will be ok, we will get through this" he promised her for the hundred time.

"I know, we will get married and we will have a baby. And then we're gonna live happily ever after" Jen said and they both smiled.

"Yeah, we will" he agreed, but when their eyes met, they could both see doubt in the other's eyes, but they also new they would have to keep believing, they couldn't loose their faith.

Gibbs pulled Jen into a tight hug, and they sat with their arms wrapped around each other, thinking about the future they hoped they would some day have together.

"I love you" she whispered into his ear. Gibbs pulled his fingers through her hair, taking in the words he had heard her say so many time these past weeks. He realized how much they meant to him, how much it meant that someone loved him. But it hadn't been until this moment he really understood the meaning of them, the true meaning, which was that she would go to her death if it meant he would live, she'd die for him. That was true love, but it reflected the two different sides of love, that you'd be so lost in your love that you'd die for the other, and the pain the one left behind would feel.

"I love you too" he said back, putting so much honesty into the words that he just knew she understood he really meant it.

Jen thought she was going crazy, she felt like she just wanted to stay in his arms forever, just cry and forget everything except him. But she knew it didn't work like that, but she didn't want to go through this, didn't want to deal with it. But this was reality, not a fantasy world, and reality has its downsides. She hugged him tighter, she was scared, especially since she was released from the hospital tomorrow, and she didn't want to leave the safety she had had this past week. She nuzzled her face into his neck, she felt safe this close to him. She knew why Daniel was after her, she knew what he would do to her when he found her, make her pay for what she had done to him. It wasn't just about Amy...

As if holding her head this close to his had made him able to read her mind, Gibbs suddenly asked "Why does he want to kill you anyway? It is really about Amy, or is there something else that you haven't told me about?"

Jen closed her eyes and pulled away from him. Still with her arms around him, she looked up into his face. She knew the truth would come out eventually, and she saw no point in lying to him about her past.

"What he's after is payback. I cost him a lot of years in prison when I pressed charges on him after the rape and abuse" Gibbs saw the pain come back into her eyes when she spoke, the pain that came with the memories of the rape she had never really dealt with.

"I see. So he got in jail because of you, and now when he's out, he wants revenge. And he thinks the best way to do that, is to kill you" Gibbs stated, and Jen nodded slowly.

"Kill me, or make me suffer first by killing those I love, like Amy and you" she said sadly, and he pulled her back into his arms.

"I'll kill him first, you can count on that. Have you ever doubted me?" he asked and smiled to himself, thinking about all the times he had asked her that, and all the answers she had given him.

"No" he heard her saying, but the answer wasn't convincing enough to persuade him.

"Why are you doubting me now?"

"I just don't know how far he'll go in order to get back at me, I mean, he is probably capable of anything, and I'm not sure you could beat him" she said honestly, but Gibbs felt she was loosing faith, she lost every positive thought and replaced them with the negative ones.

"You can't give up, Jen, not this easily. There has to be a way, and we will find it" he promised her and kissed her head, he held her closely against his body, and they both hoped he would be right.

_Who will die for who? Will anyone die at all? _

_That's some new questions for the upcoming chapters… Please review_


	26. The Waiting

Jen sat in her office at NCIS; she was now fully recovered from the concussion and was back at work. In the couch sat her daughter and drew a picture. Jen glanced at her and understood how bored she must be, but Jen just couldn't let her go to school, surely she could arrange for protection, but she wanted her daughter close, or with one of Gibbs' agent, but they were all needed here. Jen turned back to the files on her desk, she had a lot of stuff to do, surely there had been someone replacing her while she had been away, but she still needed to know everything was in order.

Ten minutes later she felt someone tugging at her arm, and when she turned her head she saw Amy stand next to her. Jen pulled out her chair and turned it towards her daughter.

"Hi sweetie. How's it going?" Jen asked as she lifted Amy up into her lap.

"Fine, but I don't want to be here anymore, your office is boring" she complained, and Jen smiled in understanding.

"Well, I don't find it very fun either, but I have to be here, I have to work" she told her "You know what? Maybe we could go see if anyone else is free" she added and Amy nodded. Jen put her down on the floor and rose from her chair. She took Amy's hand and together they walked out from her office. Outside by the rails they ran into Gibbs, who appeared to be on his way to her office.

"Ladies," he greeted them when they met up "taking a break?"

"Amy got tired of being in there; we're out chasing for someone who has time to look after her. Any ideas who may be available?" Jen asked her future husband, who raised one eyebrow while thinking about what all were doing.

"Maybe she could be down at Abby's" he said at last and Jen nodded in agreement

"I'll take her down" she said "Where you on your way to my office?" she wondered and Gibbs nodded

"Yeah, I need to talk to you" he admitted and shot her a serious look, and Jen understood the hint.

"Right, I'll take Amy down right away" she told him "Go and wait in my office until I come back" she ordered him and he walked past them without further words.

"Come on honey, let's get you to Abby's" Jen said to get Amy's attention, the girl was looking after her father as he went into her office.

"Why was dad so strange?" she wondered and looked up at her mother. Jen knelt in front of her and took both her hands in her own.

"We're in a…complicated situation. But it's probably nothing serious he means to discuss with me, maybe they have just found a lead. Don't worry honey, everything's fine" Jen promised her daughter, though she knew it probably wasn't true, but she needed to protect her daughter from all evil, all unnecessary knowing she wanted to keep from her. Jen rose to her feet and hold on to one of Amy's hand and they walked towards the elevators.

"I believe you mommy" she said and Jen smiled sadly to herself. She would do anything in her power to not fail her daughter, or her future husband.

"Thank you" she replied quietly as the stepped into the elevator.

"Abby!" Jen called out when they entered her lab. Music was on as usual, so Jen had to call her name once again, louder this time, for the gothic forensic scientist to hear her. Abby looked up from her computer where she sat at her desk, and saw the Director and the girl approach her. She quickly jumped to her feet to lower the volume of the music.

"Hey guys, I didn't hear you" she excused herself and Jen smiled

"I understand why. Do you think you can look after Amy for a while? Without messing up her hearing?" Jen asked and Abby smiled.

"I think we'll manage that" she replied and held out her hand for Amy, who let go of her mother and threw herself in the arms of Abby.

"Thanks Abs" Jen said seriously, her previous smile was gone and Abby saw how extremely tired she was.

"Any time" Abby said and Jen turned to leave the lab. As she walked she heard Amy excitedly ask what they would do.

"Well, I've got this awesome computer game that I thought you might wanna try" Abby responded, but she was still looking after Jen with a worried expression. She understood the Director was not feeling well, she just hoped Gibbs would do something about it. She always had faith in him, and so had Jen, she imagined.

Jen returned to her office, she shut the door with her back against the room. She knew he was there, she had ordered him there plus she could feel his presence. But she dreaded to look at him, why she did not know.

"Jenny" he said as she had expected he would. She sighed and took a breath before she turned to face him. He was sitting in the couch, leaning back casually with is legs crossed.

"I took her to Abby's. You wanted to talk to me?" she approached him as she spoke and after what felt like eternity she had reached to couch, but she did not sit down right away. She stood next to him and he looked up at her.

"I do need to talk to you" he said, his tone serious and when she met his gaze, his eyes were filled with concern.

"About what?" the worry he expressed really worried her, and she sort of understood what this would be about. He didn't answer her question right away.

"Sit down with me" he told her instead and she slowly took a step forward and sat down beside him.

"What is it?" she asked worriedly and lowered her gaze when she felt his hand caress hers.

"Don't freak out when I tell you this, you know I'm here to protect you" Gibbs started and instead of being prepared for bad news, this information made her even more worried. Gibbs noticed she became paler, and her entire body was shaking.

"Are you ok, Jenny?" he asked, concerned about her reaction.

"No, no I'm not ok, Jethro. I don't know what's gotten into me, but I feel…so insecure and vulnerable" her voice was weak, like if she was trying to suppress her deepest and saddest feelings, leaving her voice empty and emotionless.

Gibbs observed her with growing concern "Maybe it's because you're pregnant, it could be the hormones" he suggested, but she raised her eyebrows.

"I don't know…it doesn't feel like it. But you may have a point. I guess I'm probably worried for my unborn child and my daughter as well" she admitted thoughtfully.

"Well, this probably isn't going to ease your concern, but I need to tell you, or you will get mad at me for not telling you" Gibbs began, and Jen bit her lip nervously and waited for him to speak. But before he did so, he reached into the pocket of his suit jacket and brought out a note.

Jen stared at it, afraid to ask what it was. But deep inside she knew what it was, knew too well what it would say.

Gibbs didn't unfold the piece of paper in his hand, he didn't want Jen to see wit her own eyes what was written on it, he'd rather explain it to her.

"I found this on your car this morning" he said. They had spent the night at home, with a couple of NCIS agents there for protection of course.

"What's on it?"

"It's a threat, to you" he just said and hesitated before putting the note back into his pocket, there was no need for her to see exactly what was on it, not when she was in her current state.

"Can I see it?" Jen demanded, she had been irritated when he had put it back down in his pocket; she needed to see it, see what the threat was about.

"I can't let you see it, Jen. I'm glad I found it before you did this morning. You shouldn't see it" the way he looked at her told her all she needed to know, the threat hadn't been about her, but directed to her. She understood it was Gibbs life that was at risk here, not hers, not Amy's, but his. She placed her hand to her forehead and sighed deeply.

"Oh God" she whispered and Gibbs immediately wrapped his arms around her and brought her closer to him. She turned her body against his and pulled her own arms tightly around him.

"I'm scared Jethro. I'm so scared right now" he could barely hear her, but somehow the words reached his ears.

"Yeah, I understand you are. But you're here with me now" he said in a soft voice and gently rubbed her back. He felt she had started to cry, her body was shaking and he heard quiet sobs.

"Shh…" he hushed her and started to rock their entangled bodies back and forth on the couch. His soft hushing and the sweet, comforting movements eased her crying, but she still clung onto him, refusing to even let an inch slip between them.

Abby and Amy escaped from the elevator down in the squad room. They were holding hands and Abby looked after Gibbs.

"Hey Tony. Where's Gibbs?" she asked when they approached his desk.

"I don't know, haven't seen him in a while" Tony replied and gave Amy a huge smile.

"When mommy brought me down to Abby she was gonna talk to my dad in her office. He was acting really weird" Amy said and Abby looked at Tony.

"Well, I haven't seen him, so he's probably still up there" he told her and Abby bent down to Amy's level.

"Is it ok if I leave you here with Tony for a moment while I go talk to your parents?" she asked and Amy nodded. Abby straightened up and glared at Tony.

"Now you be careful with her!" she ordered sternly and Tony looked confused.

"What do you think I'll do to her?" he said, not sure what Abby thought about him. She didn't answer, just gave him another killing glare before walking towards the stairs up to Jen's office.

Abby lightly knocked on the Director's door before she hesitantly opened it. She stepped in and looked around the office until she saw Gibbs on her couch.

"Hi Gibbs, where's…" she started but stopped when she noticed Jen. Gibbs gave her a silent nod and then he looked down at Jen. She was lying down on the couch, her head was resting in his lap and she was fast asleep. Gibbs had one arm wrapped around her upper body in order to make her feel safe, while with his other hand he caress her head softly.

Abby carefully moved closer, until she reached the couch where Gibbs sat.

"Abs" he greeted her, his voice hoarse and low.

"How's she doing?" Abby asked worriedly and glanced at Jen's still body.

"Blessed with sleep" Gibbs answered and turned his gaze back down to his sleeping fiancée. Abby nodded sadly, she felt sorry for Jen, it must be awful to go through something of this nature, even though Abby did not know the entire truth about Jen, what she knew was still enough.

"Ok. I left Amy with Tony, I just… I wanted to talk to the Director; she seemed very …well I don't know, sad I guess is the proper word to describe her with" Abby said quietly and watched Jen sleep.

"Yeah, we're going through a rough situation" he explained

"Is there something I can do to help you guys?" Abby offered, but Gibbs raised his head and met her gaze, he smiled sadly.

"Anything you can get from your lab. By the way, I got this note, and I need to know everything you can get out of it" he told her and brought op the note from his pocket and gave it to her. When Abby read what was written, her expression changed to pure horror.

"Oh Gibbs" she whispered terrified.

"I know, I know Abs"

"I'm gonna get back to my lab and I'm gonna go through all evidence once again" she said, determined and Gibbs nodded.

"Thanks" she heard his say as she walked toward the door. It was the least she could do for her dear friends.

Gibbs turned back to Jen. He softly caressed her cheek with his hand. When she was awake, he was always positive, they would always tell each other that they was gonna get through this, that it would all soon be over. But when he was alone, or like right now when she was asleep, he found himself to be nowhere near positive.

"Oh Jenny. How the hell are we gonna fix this?" he whispered to the empty room. Jen did not wake up, but he felt her hand grasping his hand tightly, and he bent down and left a light kiss on her forehead.

_Yes, how are they gonna fix this? Will Abby find something useful among all the evidence? How and when will the final struggle take place? Well, pretty soon…The following events will rock everyone's world._

_I know nothing big happened in this chapter, but just be patient, because next time what they all have been dreading will happen… Please review and I hoped you liked it!!_

_Thanks, Emma_


	27. The Final Battle

Gibbs sat with Jen's head in his lap until she woke up. He heard her yawning and when he looked down at her, he found her looking back up at him. He gave her a tired smile.

"Hey" he said "Slept well?"

"No, not really" she responded and saw his smile fading and his expression filling with concern.

"I just had a nightmare, that's all" she explained as she slowly sat up on the couch. Gibbs withdrew his hands from her as she seated herself next to him.

"You've been sitting here with me all the time?" Jen asked, and when he nodded she couldn't help but to feel safe and protected.

"I couldn't exactly move since you were lying on me, and I didn't want to risk waking you"

"I'm glad you stayed" she told him and leaned against his chest. Gibbs wrapped his arm around Jen and held her close against him.

"What was your nightmare about?" Gibbs asked after a long silence.

"I don't want to talk about it" Jen replied, the tone in her voice made it clear the subject was not to be discussed further.

"If you say so" he agreed and was just about to ask if she was hungry, when his phone started to ring. With Jen still leaning against him, he picked up his cell from his pocket with his free hand and answered.

"Yeah, Gibbs?" he said into the phone

Jen heard some mumbling from the other side of the line but she couldn't make out any specific words.

"Ok Tony, tell Ziva and McGee to grab the gear and wait for me at the car, I'll be right with you" she heard Gibbs say before he hung up. Jen pulled away and their eyes met. Her eyes asked him what this was about.

"Tony said they have found Daniel's stolen car in a parking lot outside a shopping mall. There's a motel nearby, it's probably there he's staying. We are going there, but I want you to stay here with Amy and Abby" he filled her in and rose to his feet. When he looked at her, he became devastated to see she was shaking her head.

"No Jethro. I'm coming with you, whether you like it or not" she argued and stood up beside him.

"Jenny, please" he begged her, but she had already made up her mind, and he knew from experience that when Jenny Shepard had made up her mind there was nothing he could do or say to make her change it, she was way too stubborn for that.

"Jen, don't come, please. I can't risk losing you" he tried again, and Jen was touched by his concern, but she could not give in.

"And I won't lose you" she shot back "Together we can cover each others backs and we got your team to back us up if we need help. But it's me he's after, so he'll most likely kill all of you and then come after me. I can buy us some time; give you the opportunity to take him down"

"I don't want you to take any unnecessary risks. You're pregnant, remember?" he said and placed both his hands on her shoulders.

"I honestly don't know what else to do" she sounded tired, she wanted to put an end to this once and for all.

"Ok, but just so you know, I won't hesitate to protect you, even if it means giving up my life" he warned her, but she gave him a sad smile.

"Then we need to make sure that does not happen" she assured him and pressed her lips against his before he had a chance to argue. She pulled back; the sad smile was still on her lips.

"A kiss for good luck" she explained before she turned away from him and walked up to her desk. Jen pulled out on of the drawers and picked up her SIG Sauer along with the magazine to it. Gibbs watched her as she loaded her gun and strapped it to the top of her jeans.

"Armed and dangerous, and not to mention sexy" Gibbs said lightly as his eyes wandered up and down her body.

"Trying to keep the mood up, are we?" Jen said as she went over to the coat hanger and grabbed her brown leather jacket and put it on over the black shirt she was wearing.

"I'm ready to roll" she stated and Gibbs approached her.

"I can see that" he replied "Maybe we should share another good luck kiss" he suggested while sliding his arms around Jen's waist. He then pulled her closer until their lips met. Jen put her hands onto his cheeks and decided to deepen the kiss. This could be the last time she would taste him, and if that was to be the case, she wanted the kiss to be as perfect as only his kisses could get. Gibbs got surprised by the force in her kiss, but quickly responded with equal passion. Unwillingly, Jen slowly broke off the kiss, her hands slid down to his shoulders.

"I love you" she breathed "No matter what happens; just know that I love you"

"I know you do" he replied "And I love you too"

"Ok, let's get this over with" Jen stated and removed her hands from him and threw the door open.

"Cynthia, I'm gonna have to leave my office for a while, can you take care of things while I'm away?" Jen asked and her assistant nodded in agreement.

"Of course ma'am. For how long will you be gone?" Cynthia replied and looked up from her computer and laid her eyes on the Director. Gibbs came out right behind Jen, who shot him a worried glance at the question.

"I don't know how long I will be gone" she finally answered before she took Gibbs' hand and dragged him with her out from Cynthia's room. As they walked toward the elevators on the upper floor, Jen glanced down to the squad room, and she saw her daughter sitting in Tony's chair. Abby Sciuto was kneeling in front of her, and she was laughing at something Abby had said. Ducky joined in with the laughter, the elderly medical examiner was sitting on top of Tony's desk. Jen kept walking, but her gaze stayed on her daughter until they reached the elevators. The doors opened with a ding and the two of them stepped in. Jen closed her eyes as Gibbs pressed a button and the next second she felt him wrapping his arms around her.

"It'll be ok" he promised her for the hundredth time. She opened her eyes and pulled away from his embrace. She took his hand once again and they escaped the elevator as soon as the doors opened.

"Tony!" Gibbs barked and Tony jumped at the sound of his name being called out so loud.

"Yes boss?" he answered

"Get in the car and take us to wherever the hell we're going!"

Tony obeyed immediately and almost threw himself into the driver's seat. McGee and Ziva glanced at each other before she hurried into the passenger's seat in the front, and McGee jumped into the seat behind her. Gibbs held the other door open for Jen to climb in, and he was quick to follow. When everyone was inside, Tony took off in a hurry. Gibbs noticed Tony glanced at him in mirror every now and then. He could read the question Tony didn't want to ask in his eyes, and for the first time, he saw something that appeared to be fright in Tony's eyes. Their eyes suddenly met, and Gibbs understood his eyes must express the same horror as Tony's, because Tony sent him a look of pained understanding. Ziva, who did not notice the tension in the car, broke the silence by saying:

"So, what's our plan on this one?"

Jen glanced at Gibbs before saying "It's me he's after, I'll be the bait, and you'll just have to find a way to take him out. He's not the brightest in D.C, maybe we could have him fooled"

"That doesn't sound like a very safe plan, Director" McGee cut in, and Jen lowered her gaze.

"I know it's not safe, agent McGee" she agreed quietly

"Then why do it, Director?" Ziva asked and turned around to look at her old friend, her concern obvious.

"If you have a better idea, Officer David, then I'm all ears" Gibbs cut in, and everybody turned to look at him, all shocked by what he had said. Tony was the first to recover from the shock.

"Don't worry Jenny. You've got your four best agents covering your back" he assured her and she felt Gibbs hand on her thigh, and she turned to look at him.

"Tony's right, we won't let anything happen to you" he promised her, and she nodded.

"I believe you guys" she replied and Gibbs kissed her cheek.

"Good"

"We're almost there" Tony cut in, and Jen's terror started to increase. She had been going over her plan numerous times in her head already; only it had never felt real. But it sure did now. For some reason, she did not feel scared, not for herself at least, all the fear she had felt before just seemed to have disappeared from her mind, and all she felt know was hatred for all the pain and suffering Daniel had put her through. She was looking forward to take him out, she wanted him dead. Tony parked the car in the parking lot outside the mall across from the motel, and they were all quick to get out.

"Let's find his car first" Gibbs ordered and they split up; Ziva, Tony and Jen went to the left side of the pretty large parking lot while Gibbs and McGee went to the right. Gibbs glanced anxiously after Jen as they went in separate directions. If anything would happen to her, Tony and Ziva would be answering to him, they were now in charge over Jen's protection.

"What the hell kind of car are we looking for?" Gibbs asked furiously and looked around at all the cars in the big parking area. He was mad at himself for letting Jen do this, especially since she was pregnant.

"A black SUV with the licence number 168 STB" McGee answered and tried to keep up with is boss.

"168 Sierra Tango Bravo" Gibbs repeated as he spotted the SUV a few yards ahead. He spoke into his earwig "DiNozzo, we have found the vehicle. Over here" he told him.

"Gotcha boss" Tony said back to Gibbs before turning back to Jen and Ziva "They found it"

"Good" Ziva replied and the three of them started to walk toward Gibbs and McGee.

"I left something in the car. You go ahead and I'll catch up with you" Jen suddenly said and came to a halt. Tony and Ziva also stopped and turned to look at her.

"Just be quick" Ziva said and Jen nodded

Tony and Ziva reached the others a few minutes later.

"Hey, where's Jenny?" Gibbs called out

"She went to get something she forgot in the car" Ziva explained, but Gibbs looked furious. He gave both of them an evil glare before speaking into his earwig.

"Jenny, do you copy?" he asked and waited a few seconds "Jen, I said do you copy?" he asked again, sounding more worried now. Tony and Ziva glanced nervously at each other.

"Damn it!" Gibbs took up his cell and speed-dialled for Jen. The next second he slammed his cell phone shut.

"Just go straight to voice mail" he turned to Tony and Ziva "One of you should have stayed with her!" he said angrily but didn't wait for an answer or explanation before he started to run toward the car. The others followed in a hurry.

"Jen!" Gibbs called out when he approached the car. But she was not there.

"What the hell?" he mumbled to himself when the other agents finally caught up with him.

"She's not here" Tony observed

"You shouldn't have let her go alone!" Gibbs shouted, furious with Tony and Ziva for losing her, and not to mention with himself for not staying close to her.

"Gibbs!" Ziva called from the other side of the car. Gibbs hurried up to her.

"What is it?"

Ziva's expression was filled with concern as she pointed at something on the ground. Gibbs kneeled next to the two objects on the ground, an earwig and a cell phone, both very familiar to him.

"He's got her" he said, his voice low. He put his hand to his forehead, trying to figure out what to do next.

"I'm sorry boss" Tony apologized and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Stop apologizing damn it, and find her instead" Gibbs stood up and looked around in the parking lot. His gaze travelled over the area, a few people were heading back toward their car, but other than that, there was no sign of Daniel or Jen. He looked to his left, and there laid the motel.

"Ziva, McGee. Get back to the damn car and search it. Tony, you're with me" Gibbs ordered and he sounded so brisk no one dared to question him.

"Come McGee" Ziva said, her voice softer than usual. McGee glanced at Gibbs before saying "Good luck boss" and with that he walked off toward Daniel's stolen SUV.

"Yeah, go find her Gibbs" Ziva added and gave them a slight nod before she hurried off after McGee.

"Where are we going boss?" Tony asked, not entirely sure how he should act around the extremely pissed off Gibbs. He twitched a little when someone laid a hand on his shoulder; he looked up and realized it was Gibbs.

"Tony, whatever happens in there" Gibbs said in a surprisingly soft and low voice, referring to the motel "if something was to go wrong with me and Jen, I trust you to take good care of Amy, can I do that? Can I trust you?"

Tony was taken aback by the message Gibbs was delivering. Still slightly shocked by the question and the responsibility asked from him, Tony answered "You have my word boss, but it won't be necessary because you will both make it out of there alive"

"Just take good care of her if things does not go as planned" Gibbs argued, and Tony slowly nodded.

"Fine, I'll take care of her" he said to please Gibbs.

"Thanks" the older man said and turned toward the motel.

"He must have taken her in there" Gibbs said and crossed the road to get to the motel. Tony followed closely behind him, glancing nervously at Gibbs now and then. He was starting to get scared for his boss and what he may be capable of doing if something was threatening Jenny. He couldn't help it, but he felt he had an invisible bond with Gibbs, and even though they did not always get along, Gibbs meant very much to Tony. He just didn't want to see him get hurt, physically or mentally.

The two agents stormed into the small reception, but it was empty. Gibbs looked around furiously.

"Tony, you take the second floor. Search every room, including bathroom and closets!" Gibbs ordered and Tony nodded and quickly headed toward the stairs. Gibbs glanced at Tony as he disappeared before he walked up to the reception. He swept his gaze across it to see it there were any leads. There was none and he sighed and went to the hallway instead. There were doors on one side of the hallway, and he knew he needed to check them all. He brought out his SIG and kicked the door open to the first room. He quickly came to the conclusion there was nothing there, and moved on to the next room.

After he had cleared four rooms, he stopped outside the fifth. Gibbs pressed his ear against the door, and heard a man's voice say angrily "Now don't try anymore tricks, or I will kill you"

"You will kill me either way, won't you?" came Jen's voice. Gibbs couldn't help but to tense when her words were followed by what sounded like a slap on her cheek. He heard her breathe heavily.

Gibbs mind was spinning; he knew he needed to think fast on this one.

"DiNozzo, they're in room nr 5. Back me up" he whispered into his earwig

"Copy" Tony answered and hurried off to join his boss.

Gibbs didn't know what kind of scene would meet him, but the next second he had kicked in the door. Gibbs held up his gun and shouted "Freeze! Federal agent!"

But what he saw in there made his blood run cold. Jen was tied up in a chair; the rope was pulled tight around her body. The top buttons on her shirt was open and revealed her bra. Her cheek was still red where he had hit her, she wore other sighs of abuse, like bruises on her collarbone and face, and her lip was bloody. But it's what was behind her that scared him the most, because behind her stood Daniel, with a knife pressed against Jen's throat.

"Drop your knife, or I'll kill you!" Gibbs said, aiming his weapon at him. But Daniel just smiled.

"Shoot me, and she dies with me" he said while a twisted smile played on his lips "Put down you weapon, or I cut her throat right here in front of you"

Before neither could do anything, Tony appeared in the doorway, his SIG drawn.

"You might wanna put that down, man" he said as he stepped into the room, his gun pointing at Daniel. The next second he had to move quickly to avoid the knife that had been thrown at him, and Gibbs fired two rounds at Daniel, he couldn't do more, since Jen was right in the way, and he would risk hitting her. Gibbs glanced at Tony, but he was now lying on the floor with the knife deeply imbedded in his thigh.

"Tony!" Jen called out and moved furiously to get out of the ropes.

"Tony, you ok?" Gibbs wondered, and for just one second, took his eyes off Daniel, which he would not have done. He felt something hitting his arms, making him drop the gun. He was punched once again, this time in the stomach, which made him fall to the ground, gasping out in pain. Gibbs looked up and saw Daniel stand above him, and then another jolt of pain rushed through his body as he was being kicked repeatedly. Through everything, he heard Jen scream.

"Shut up or I'll kill him on the spot!" Daniel threatened, and Jen's voice silenced, though she couldn't keep the tears from running down her cheeks. Daniel left Gibbs lying on the floor, though he roughly turned him over so he lay looking at Jen.

"I wasn't joking, I will kill her in front of you" the tone in his voice combined with the twisted glittering in his eyes told Gibbs he was going to kill her. Gibbs knew he couldn't lose her. He heard him loading his gun, and the second before he pulled the trigger, Gibbs gathered whatever strength he had left in his body, and threw himself in front of Jen, just in time to meet the bullet.

"Gibbs!" Jen shouted when his body hit the floor with a loud thump. She started to furiously turn her body, eager to get free from the ropes.

"You bastard!" she shrieked as she twisted her arms furiously to get free.

"Don't blame me, he obviously decided you were worth to die for, too bad you will die either way" Daniel said coolly and pointed his gun at her once again. Jen glanced at Gibbs, he was still breathing, though very heavy and there was a big pool of blood surrounding him. She turned back toward Daniel, knowing he would pull the trigger any second…

_Bang!_

Jen stared in shock as Daniel's body fell to the floor, and her gaze found Tony still lying near the doorway, his gun raised and aiming at where Daniel had just been standing. The shot was followed by complete silence for a few seconds, and then Jen spoke in a shaking, hoarse voice.

"Untie me"

Tony limped over to her, his leg still bleeding, and cut loose the ropes with the knife he had pulled out from his leg.

As soon as she was free, Jen hurried over to Gibbs and fell to her knees next to his body. She turned him over so he lay on his back. His eyes were barely closed, and nearly his entire front was covered in blood.

"No… no Jethro! Come on, say something!" she cried and caressed his face "Tony, call an ambulance!"

Gibbs gave up a faint cough, and made a failing try to speak.

"Stay with me, you can't abandon me now!" Jen whispered through the tears that ran in streams down her cheeks. She pressed her hands against his stomach in order to try and stop the bleeding, but the blood sipped through her fingers and soaked her hands.

"Jen…" his voice was barely heard, but she could tell he had spoken her name, and it nearly tore her heart apart to hear him sound so faint.

"You're not gonna die, I won't let you!" she cried and kept trying to stop the blood.

McGee and Ziva appeared in the doorway, their eyes travelled over the bloody scene in front of them. They looked at Tony, who was standing over Daniel's dead body, holding his cell to his ear, and their eyes widened as they saw a crying Jen lean over Gibbs bloody body, trying desperately to keep him alive…

_Will Gibbs survive? I guess that is the only question that matters now…_

_Please don't hate me for leaving you guys like this. I know cliffhangers are not appreciated, but you're just gonna have to hold on until I update which I promise will be soon. Please review!! And thanks for reading!!_

_Emma_


	28. At The Hospital

_Jenny__ arrived at the hospital in the ambulance with Gibbs, crying hysterically as she refused to let a paramedic examine the wounds on her wrists._

"_No, don't care about me. Just save him!" she cried, pulling her arm away from him._

"_Please, miss…" the paramedic pleaded as he took a steady grip onto her shoulder and guided her into the hospital building, Gibbs had already been taken inside, and the fact that she could no longer see him made her situation, if possible, worse._

"_No…please save him…you have to" she felt her legs could no longer carry her, and she collapsed onto the ground, the paramedic unable to prevent her from falling._

"_Miss Shepard" he said as he knelt next to her trembling body "Miss Shepard!"_

_Jen finally looked up at him, her face red and wet from crying._

"_We will try our best to save your fiancé" he assured her, but Jen heard the doubt in his voice, and she understood the chances of him dying were bigger than his chances of surviving._

_It was later in the day, and Jen still had no answers regarding Gibbs condition. She herself had been examined and she wore bandages on both her wrists. She sat in the waiting room, about to lose her mind from lack of information. As she looked down at her thighs, she realized her jeans were covered in Gibbs' blood. Her hand was put to her mouth as she silently started to cry again. _

"_Miss Shepard?" Jen looked up as she heard a doctor calling her name; he wore a serious look on his face._

Jen took a sip from her chamomile tea. She was wearing an old NCIS sweat shirt and sweat pants, she sat in a hospital room, just waiting. She had been waiting for three days now, waiting for something to happen, waiting to see if things would go back to what it had been.

Jen glanced at the man in the hospital bed, he hadn't woken up in three days, and for that long she had been sitting in this room, in the same clothes, drinking numerous cups of tea. She rose from her chair and walked over to him, looking down at his still figure. She often flashed back to three days ago, when he had hovered between life and death, and she had been inconsolable. She remembered when the doctor had told her Gibbs had only been minutes from death, and that the nearest couple of day would be rather insecure.

Jen sighed and bent down to leave a soft kiss on his forehead. All she wanted right now was for him to wake up and look at her with his blue eye, promising her he would be alright. It was getting late in the day, and she doubted he would wake up today, which meant she had another night and day of concerned waiting ahead of her. But she knew she could not sleep until she knew he was safe.

"Jenny?" came a voice from the doorway, and when Jen turned her head, she saw Tony stand there, on his crutches.

"Hi Tony" she replied sadly "How are you holding up?"

"I was just gonna ask you the same thing" he answered and gave her a long look. Jenny glanced back at Gibbs.

"I guess I'm ok. I just…I want him to wake up…" she fought against the tears that never seemed to cease falling from her eyes; she took another sip from her tea.

"Yeah, me too. By the way, you daughter wanted to see you" Tony told her, and Jen nodded, giving Gibbs another glance before walking out of the room.

When Jenny returned to Gibbs' room fifteen minutes later, she met a nurse in the door, she could hear there were more people inside the room, and she felt how her blood ran cold at the thought that he may have gotten worse.

"Whoa, what is going on?" she asked the nurse nervously. The younger girl gave Jen a tired smile and placed a hand on her arm.

"Mr Gibbs has just woken up. We're making sure everything's in order" she answered, and Jen breathed out in relief.

"Is it? I mean, he's gonna be ok, right?" she asked, her voice holding a hint of concern as she didn't really know how to react in this situation.

"He'll most likely recover just fine, but we want to keep him under surveillance, especially during the next twenty-four hours just to be sure" the nurse told her and pattered Jenny's back with a smile before she walked off to see another patient.

Jenny stood outside the door, trying to decide whether she should go in or not. She wasn't sure how she would act around him, not after what had happened before. She leaned against the wall, her eyes closed as she tried to wrap her head around everything.

Jen reacted when the door next to her suddenly opened and a doctor and a nurse came out from Gibbs room.

"Check up on him in an hour" the doctor told the nurse as they both were on their way away from the room.

"Doctor?" Jenny called and stepped away from the wall. The doctor turned with a slight surprised look on his face.

"Miss Shepard, I didn't see you" he greeted her and smiled

"How is he?" she jumped right to the point and crossed her arms across her chest while she tried not to lose control over herself.

"He fine. After the surgery…" he began to explain, but Jen held up her hand.

"I don't need details, I just need to know that he's gonna be okay" she said sternly, and the doctor nodded.

"Of course. By the way, he's been asking for you, wondering why you weren't there when he woke up" the nurse answered for him, and Jenny glanced at them both before she abruptly turned and hurried into Gibbs' room.

She stopped the second she walked through the doorway. She hesitated and realized she had been standing here many times hesitating, but the previous times she had wondered whether she should leave the room for a few minutes, or not. She had feared he would wake up during the time she was gone, and she wanted to be here when he woke up. But now she was afraid to go inside, and she hadn't been here when he woke up. But Gibbs had already heard her footsteps approaching, and his head was turned toward her.

"Jenny" he said in a low voice, causing her heartbeats to increase at the sound of his voice. She let go of the hesitation and walked up his bed.

"Hi" she responded and reached out a trembling hand to caress his forehead. Even though she couldn't stop a smile from playing on her lips, she felt the anger rise inside of her.

"You're awake" she added quietly. She was so relieved he was, so glad he was gonna be ok. But she was still mad at him.

"Where were you?" he wondered, his voice weak. She lowered her gaze, and found herself looking down at her hands that lay on the sheet near the edge of the bed. She saw his hand slip over hers.

"I was with Amy; Tony came and told me she wanted to see me. By the way, he is fine, and Daniel's dead" she answered without looking at him, her gaze still on their hands.

"I was scared when you weren't here, I figured maybe Daniel had gotten you…" his voice faded and when he didn't speak again, Jen became worried. She slowly raised her gaze and when it landed on his face, she noticed how his eyes expressed fright and he looked so vulnerable she just wanted to take him into her arms and comfort him.

"I'm sorry, but how could I possibly have known you would wake up during the only fifteen minutes I wasn't by your side?" she suddenly burst out, letting a bit of the anger that existed inside of her out. Frustrated she wiped away a few tears that had started to run, those things never stopped. She pulled her hand away from his and walked up to the window, her back turn to him. She knew it was crazy that she was pissed off at him right now, but she wasn't sure how else to feel. She put her hand over her mouth to try and silence her crying, but a loud sob escaped her anyway.

"Jen" he quietly called her name, but she didn't respond "Jenny please" he was begging her, and she reluctantly turn around to face him, but she did not move away from the window.

"What?" she tried to keep her voice steady, but he could hear the tension in her voice.

"I thought you'd be happy when I woke up" he said sadly and Jen closed her eyes and sighed

"I am" she answered and opened her eyes again. When she looked at him she could tell he doubted her.

"You don't appear happy" he observed and when he said that Jen went back to his bed, looking down at him.

"Trust me, I am happy you have woken up, I've been waiting for three days. Just...I shouldn't have had to go through this" she replied sadly and once again caressed his forehead. Gibbs looked up at her with confusion in his pale blue eyes.

"Go through what? What did he do to you, Jenny?" he asked weakly, thinking about Daniel as he briefly wondered what he could have done to her before he and Tony got there.

"It's not what he did, it's what you did!" she tried to keep her voice soft, but she couldn't keep the coolness from her words.

"Me?"

"Yeah, you shouldn't have jumped between me and the bullet"

Gibbs took her hand in a firm grip and forced her to look at him, his voice was steadier than before and there were no regret in it as he spoke

"Jen, I couldn't let you take that bullet. I couldn't just lie there and watch him kill you. I took a chance, for you and for our baby"

"That chance almost cost you your life!" she burst out and tried to pull her hand away from his, but he refused to let go of her

"Why are you acting like this Jen? I saved your life!" he simply couldn't understand why she was so mad at him, he had saved her life and their baby's and he had survived himself.

"Jethro...How do you think I would feel if a bullet that was meant for me killed you? I would be blaming myself as much as Daniel" the tears glistened in her eyes again and there was a tension in her voice that told Gibbs she was trying to keep the crying from being heard.

"Jen...I'm sorry it had to go down this way, but I'm ok. Isn't that all that matters? So what if I was ready to sacrifice my life for you. It just shows that I love you" his voice was soft and low, he knew he needed to rest and right now he didn't have the strength to argue.

Jen looked into his eyes with tears in hers, knowing he was right, knowing she shouldn't be angry with him for saving her life. She watched him as he closed his eyes and started to breathe heavily.

"Jethro?" her concern-filled voice made him slowly open his eyes again and he glanced up at her tiredly. She caressed his hand, making small circles on the back of his hand with her fingertips.

"You're right" she admitted out loud "You're alive, and that's all that matters. But I can't help but thinking...you were only a few minutes from death, Jethro. You could have died, and god knows how I would feel if I lost you. It's not just 'so what' that you were ready to sacrifice your life for me, it would still be ruining my life" with her free hand she wiped away the tears that ran down her face "But I know you did it for me, for Amy and for our baby"

"I'm sorry I had to make you go through this" he whispered, and Jen smiled through her crying.

"I'm just so glad you're ok" her voice broke "But I'm still upset with you" she added a moment later.

"I promise I'll make it up to you" he said and gave her a tired smile "When I get better, we'll get married and I'll take you to Paris on our honeymoon"

Jen couldn't help but to laugh a little, but silenced as she gave him a nod. She pulled out a chair and sat down beside him, gently holding his hand while he drifted off to sleep. The rage that had roared through her body only minutes ago were as good as gone. Instead she was filled with relief that he had made it out of this alive. Since she had barely slept during the three days he had been comatose, and now when she was able to relax, she instantly felt sleep filling her body and intoxicating her mind. She laid her head down on the mattress beside him and fell asleep at once, still clutching his hand.

_Sorry the update's been so long, but seeing it is summertime and I have been away a lot… And I have sort of had a writer's block… But here is the new chapter, and I hope you liked it. I will write more; in some upcoming chapter will be the wedding! Please __review; it's my birthday (31__July)!!_

_Thanks,_

_Emma_


	29. Together

When Jen woke up again, her neck was stiff from having being lying down so uncomfortably, sitting in a chair with her head resting on the mattress of his bed. She raised her head from the bed and grimaced as she slowly started to massage her neck.

"Slept well?" The sudden voice startled her, but then she recognised it as Gibbs'. She looked up at him and noticed he was already awake.

"Yes, but I don't think the position was in favour for my neck" she said with a groan. Gibbs smiled softly, causing her lips to fall into a smile as well.

"How are you feeling?" she asked softly as she eyed him. He was leaning back heavily onto his pillows, and even though he was still smiling, he looked tired.

"I'm ok" he answered simply, but she raised her eyebrow. "I promise I'm fine" he assured her, and finally she seemed satisfied.

"Good" she said and reached out her hand to caress his forehead. He closed his eyes at her touch, enjoying the feel of her finger on his skin. Jen noticed his obvious pleasure, and therefore she kept her hand resting on his forehead. She withdrew her hand and instead grabbed his hand, causing him to open his eyes and look at her.

"How's the baby?" he suddenly asked, he'd just realized he hadn't asked her that last night. Now he suddenly became concerned and mad at himself for not thinking about it sooner.

"Its fine" Jen assured him and subconsciously placed her other hand on top of her stomach. She was still wearing the NCIS sweat shirt and pants, but now that he was awake she would feel safe to go home to take a shower and change clothes. She'd worn these clothes for several days in a row, and her hair was greasy by now. But when she had been waiting by Gibbs' side, her personal hygiene hadn't been her number one priority.

"Would it be ok if I went home to clean up and change my clothes?" she asked him after a moment of silence.

"Of course, Jen. I know you've been here for three days, for me" there was something in his voice, he sounded very touched to know she had not left him, not that he wouldn't do the same for her.

"You'll be alright?" she asked suspiciously, she still couldn't let go of her concern for him. But he just smiled.

"I'll be fine" he assured her and squeezed her hand tightly.

"Do you want me to call someone? Ducky, or maybe Abby, for company?" she was persistent; he could easily tell she was not fond of leaving him alone.

"Fine, Jen" he said with a small laugh "Call Abby, then. I'm sure she must be freaked out by now, anyway"

Jen laughed too and then bent down to leave a kiss on his cheek.

"Good. I call her and then I'll be off" she told him and he nodded. Jen picked up her cell and dialled Abby's number. When she told her Gibbs was finally awake, she had to take the phone from her ear. She stared at it in disbelief as she, even on this distance, could hear every word Abby was yelling. Gibbs laughed as he could hear Abby too. Finally, Jen dared to put the phone back against her ear without the risk of becoming deaf.

"I guess you're happy he's ok" Jen said teasingly. "Do you think you could come down to the hospital to keep him company while I go home and shower?"

A minute later Jen hung up. She turned back to Gibbs who was still grinning widely.

"She's already on her way" she informed him and went over to him. "I'll be back as soon as I can. I'm just gonna have to check in at the office as well"

"Sure, you take your time. I will be fine with Abby, unless she hugs me to death" he said lightly and Jen laughed again.

"Bye Jethro" she blew him as kiss as she reached the door way, then she disappeared.

Three hours later, Jen returned to the hospital, now cleaned up and wearing black pants and a lilac jumper. As she entered Gibbs room, she quickly noticed Abby was not his only visitor. Tony was there along with Amy and Ducky sat on a chair at Gibbs' feet. Amy was the first one to notice the newcomer.

"Mommy!" she shrieked and ran from Tony's side and flung herself into her mother's open arms.

"Hi sweetie!" Jen laughed and kissed her daughter's hair. She hoisted Amy up on her hip and walked over to the bed, where Abby stepped aside to allow her to get to Gibbs. Jen let her bag slip down her arm and it landed with a thud on the floor next to his bed.

"What exactly did you bring here?" Gibbs frowned and looked down at the rather large bag on the floor.

"I brought some clothes for you to wear when you get released from here. And stuff for myself, as well as my laptop. I'm not fond of leaving your side" Jen explained, even though she always could arrange so that Gibbs was never alone, she still would feel more comfortable if she was here personally. Otherwise she knew she would be calling him every ten minutes just to make sure he was alright, and that would eventually drive him into insanity.

"Thanks, Jen" he said quietly, and she was slightly surprised, she'd counted on him to argue with her, telling her she was better to be at her office, but he didn't. Jen look up from him and her eyes travelled over the room, taking in the others faces. She wrapped both her arms tightly around her daughter, and even though her back was starting to ache from Amy's weight, she didn't want to let go of her. As she looked at Tony, she suddenly realized there was something that she, in the midst of everything that had been going on with Gibbs, had forgotten to tell him. She reluctantly let Amy down, but her back did not complain as its burden was suddenly lifted.

"Tony," she began, and everyone's eyes, including Tony's, turned toward her.

"Yes?"

"I realized I never thanked you for saving my life back there" she spoke into the room, which was completely silent. "So, thank you, Tony, for saving my life"

"You're welcome, Jenny" he tried to keep his voice casual, but his cheeks turned a little pink as he blushed. Jen smiled at him, then she glanced down at Gibbs again. He gave her an appreciative look and reached out her hand for hers. She didn't hesitate to take it.

Abby and Ducky glanced at each other both smiling at what they were seeing. Ducky cleared his throat, causing Jen and Gibbs to look up at him.

"I think, that we should probably leave you alone" he stated, but Jen shook her head.

"That's not necessary, Ducky. Feel free to stay as long as you'd like" she said, and Gibbs nodded in agreement. She'd had a feeling he would appreciate being surrounded by those who loved him.

"Well, thank you, Director. But I think I'd better get back to work. I left Mr. Palmer alone and I really think I better check up on him" Ducky said with a slight smile playing on his lips. He rose from his chair and walked around to Gibbs other side, Tony backed off to allow Ducky to get closer.

"I hope you get well soon, Jethro. Have you…" Ducky began, glancing at Jen's engagement ring "Have you set a date for the wedding, yet?"

Jen raised her eyebrows and took her eyes from Ducky to Gibbs, who kept staring at his old friend as he answered "As soon as I'm recovered"

"I guess I'd better start planning, then" Jen cut in and smiled.

"Yeah, you'd better do that, Jen" Gibbs replied.

"Ehm, Director?" Abby said tentatively and took a step forward. Jen appeared slightly surprised to hear her voice, but looked at her encouragingly. Abby continued "I could, I mean, if you want me to of course, help you with the wedding plans" she offered, and Jen looked happily surprised.

"Abby, that would be wonderful. And please, call me Jenny" she smiled at the Gothic girl, whose dark lips also turned into a smile.

"Good, thanks, Jenny. Call me, anytime you want, if you want to discuss it. And I mean anytime, day or night" she assured her and picked up her bag in order to leave.

Abby took Ducky's place at Gibbs' side, and bent down to hug him carefully. "I hope you get better very soon, Gibbs" she squealed and released him, her pigtails brushed against his face as she straightened up.

"Thanks, Abs" he replied in a low voice. Abby then bent down to hug Amy, who had sneaked up behind her.

"Bye, little girl. I hope you'll come to visit me in my lab sometime soon" she said and Amy was all for the idea. She liked Abby, she was cool.

"I will" she promised and Abby turned to leave.

"Actually," Jen voice made Abby stop and turn back toward her Director. "Abby, if you're not busy, maybe Amy can come with you now; I need to talk to Jethro alone"

"Sure, I've got nothing" Abby replied and Amy smiled brightly and ran to Abby's side and grabbed her hand. Abby looked down at the tiny hand in hers and smiled too.

"Thanks Abs" Jen laughed at her daughter's enthusiasm and her loving eyes found Amy's.

"Bye mommy, bye daddy" Amy said and waved at her parents before walking out the room together with Abby, Ducky followed close behind, leaving Tony alone with Jen and Gibbs. He glanced from one to the other, then awkwardly cleared his throat.

"Right, maybe I should go too" he said and limped toward the door on his crutches.

"Good idea" Gibbs replied and watched Tony slowly make his way out throught the door, shutting it behind him and leaving him alone with Jen.

As soon as they were alone, Jen bent down to leave a soft kiss on his lips. When she pulled away, Gibbs eyes were still closed. She gently caressed his cheek, causing him to glance up at her.

"It looks like a beautiful day" he suddenly said, raising his eyes to look out through the window to his left.

"It is" she replied without taking her eyes off him. She carefully took in his features; his face looked more lined than usual, his eyes held a longing in them as he kept looking out the window. He looked indeed older, more tired, but at the same time wiser. He looked fragile, and Jen was surprised at seeing him like this. She wondered what was going on inside his brain, if he was thinking about how close they both had been at losing their lives, or if he felt trapped lying in a hospital bed with a gunshot wound in his chest, staring out at the sky and the tree top and dreaming of the freedom outside. Whatever he was thinking about, it made him look sad, vulnerable. And Jen didn't want him to be this way. Therefore she gently placed her hand on his cheek, causing him to pull out of his thoughts.

"You ok?" she asked, voice full of concern. At the sound of her voice he suddenly smiled, and his sparkling blue eyes lit up.

"Yeah, I'm fine" he mumbled and reached out his hand, placing it softly around her neck and pulled her down toward him, until their lips met. Jen softly kissed him back, knowing he was not ok, but not knowing why. What she did realize was that he needed her, needed to be reassured that she would not leave him. And she wouldn't.

Jen quickly pulled away as she felt him wince in pain. She looked down at him with concern.

"I'll get a doctor" she told him and rose to her feet to fetch someone.

Jen sat in the chair next to Gibbs as the doctor gave him painkillers and checked up on him. He came to the conclusion nothing was wrong, he was just feeling pain from he gunshot wound. It was though looking good. The doctor left them and Gibbs lay with his eyes closed for a while. Jen thought he had fallen asleep, but then he suddenly spoke without opening his eyes.

"Jen?"

"I'm here" she assured him and reached out to take his hand. He gently squeezed it and smiled.

"Good. I'm just gonna sleep for a while" he said, his voice slowly fading as he began to drift off to sleep.

"I'm not going anywhere" she promised and held onto his hand as he fell asleep, his features much calmer. He looked handsome, and his lips was curved in a slight smile as Jen wondered briefly what he was dreaming about.

A few hours later, Jen was still sitting by his side, reading a book while still holding him hand and waited for him to wake up. She didn't notice that Gibbs was lying staring up at her. He admired her beauty in the sunlight that shone in through the windows. Her thumb subconsciously caressed the back of his hand as her book lay in her lap and she used her free hand to turn the pages. Jen glanced at him, and got quite a shock when she found his open eyes looking back at her.

"Jethro!" she called out, and her book fell to the floor with a loud thud. Gibbs grinned at her

"I scared you?" he teased as she bent down to pick up the book.

"Well, no," she replied sarcastically "You just almost gave me a heart-attack"

"Lucky we're at a hospital then" he replied. As she got over the shock of finding him already awake, she managed to give him a smile. They sat in silence for a while, from outside came the muffled sound of an ambulance on its way to the E.R. Jen wondered briefly what had happened.

"So," she began, taking her mind off the newly arrived ambulance "have you thought about who's gonna be your best man?"

"Nope" Gibbs answered and studied her carefully with his eyes. "Who's gonna be your maid of honor?" he shot back.

"Thought I'd ask Abby, since she's offered to help with the wedding plans already, and Ziva and Amy" she answered

"I see. Do you want a big wedding, or a smaller, just close friends and family?" Gibbs asked, personally he voted for the smaller one, but it was up to Jen to decide. He'd already had four weddings, and as far as he knew, Jen had had none.

"I was thinking, something in between big and small." she said thoughtfully and Gibbs raised his eyebrows. "Leave the guest list to me and Abby" she said with a smile. "Anyone specific you wanna invite?"

"Nah, I don't know"

"How about Fornell?" she suggested, causing Gibbs to laugh.

"Fine, I guess you could invite Tobias" he agreed.

"Good. But who will you have as your best man?"she asked again "McGee? Ducky? Or Tony?"

Gibbs thought about her suggestions. Ducky had been his best man before, Tony would be offended if he chose McGee over him, and...

"Maybe..." Jen interrupted his thoughts "Tony did save our lives, thank him by asking him to be your best man" she suggested, and Gibbs found himself agreeing to that.

"Yeah, he'd be thrilled" Gibbs said with a laugh. Then he reached up to pull Jen down toward him again. Holding her face only inches from his, he whispered to her, his breath hot against her skin.

"You plan this out, make it your dream wedding. Big or small, I don't care, as long as it'll be you and me, ending up together"

"You have my word" she whispered back before closing the gap between them as she pressed her lips softly against his.

_So, next chapter will be the wedding. Looking forward to writing that ;)_

_Thanks for reading and please, please leave me a review!!_

_xxx_

_Emma_


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